78 Comments
 

The Meat Hammer Fund

Partners In Maximizing Profits (PIMP) Capital

If I had asked people what they wanted, they would have said faster horses - Henry Ford
 

Humorous Idea: IFIYFO (I'm fucking in you're fucking out) Capital Management

Real Idea: Red Cliff Capital

Some of my favorites from the real world: The Children's Fund (brilliant way to dodge heat by making it sound like a charity) Blackstone-just sounds badass

There have been many great comebacks throughout history. Jesus was dead but then came back as an all-powerful God-Zombie.
 

Well, one choice would be Frieds & Company (with Frieds being substituted for my actual last name). I've always like that whole "& Co." type name.

If I felt like an homagey time name, I would go with Voodoo Capital Management in honor of Zimbabwe Ben, Turbo Timmeh and The Krugmanites (They are like deadites but far worse). The other homage would be TUEA (Teachers Union Extortion Association) Capital Management, with a 10 and 50 structure and no watermarks in the least bit, and my clients would like it because, like the NJEA, it's all about making sure you invest in your children's mediocre future while funding my fat paycheck.

The other choice I would seriously consider using, besides Frieds & Company, is Storm Peak Capital Management.

 

Cell Block Capital Management

tag line: Rapin' bitches so you don't have to!

Regards

"The trouble with our liberal friends is not that they're ignorant, it's just that they know so much that isn't so." - Ronald Reagan
 

Enron Capital Management

"Greed, in all of its forms; greed for life, for money, for love, for knowledge has marked the upward surge of mankind. And greed, you mark my words, will not only save Teldar Paper, but that other malfunctioning corporation called the USA."
 
Nouveau Richie

Short Term Capital Management

brilliant
"I know you think you understand what you thought I said but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant."
 
squirtlezKanto Partners

Which city is the major Finance city in Kanto? I'm thinking Saffron or Celadon.

“Millionaires don't use astrology, billionaires do”
 
Nouveau RichieMadoff Tourre and Company

Madoff Tourre Kiervel & Co. I like

"The higher up the mountain, the more treacherous the path" -Frank Underwood
 

agree on the The Children comment, it sounds kinda nice too, also like the & co. thing but it's better suited for a merchant bank/pe fund since it's a hf it has to end in capital management then i'd pick a nice place name, like a beach or a mountain (avoid boring, gay and/or fail places)... and there you got a hf name ... don't use your name unless you're well known in the industry or are old money.

finally add some spices like offshore value strategic long short special situations arbitrage oportunity fund (thx ehf3...)

avoid the blacksomething name, way too ghetto

 
Gray Fox

I somehow missed this thread over the past three years. SB's to the first person who gets the reference:

Boomstick Capital Management

To answer that one, and that's only because I haven't been following old threads over a very long time - the answer to that ties back to what I said about the Krugmanites being worse than deadites.

Now here's the question, did you get that gorgeous American Made twelve-gauge double-barreled Remington, with its a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and hair trigger at S-Mart? Did you Shop Smart?

 
Frieds Gray Fox:

I somehow missed this thread over the past three years. SB's to the first person who gets the reference:

Boomstick Capital Management

To answer that one, and that's only because I haven't been following old threads over a very long time - the answer to that ties back to what I said about the Krugmanites being worse than deadites.

Now here's the question, did you get that gorgeous American Made twelve-gauge double-barreled Remington, with its a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and hair trigger at S-Mart? Did you Shop Smart?

Not only did I shop Smart, I shopped S-Mart

 

Rock Pond Capital Stone Lake Capital Oak Bench Capital Gunna Be Awesum, Trust Me Capital Random Town Name Capital

"After you work on Wall Street it’s a choice, would you rather work at McDonalds or on the sell-side? I would choose McDonalds over the sell-side.” - David Tepper
 

Morning wood capital

I'm on the pursuit of happiness and I know everything that shine ain't always gonna be gold. I'll be fine once I get it
 

A good amount of hedge fund names a) make no sense to the average person ex: Raptor Evolution, Capitalist-pig Asset Management, Greenlight or b) induce face-palm ex: Man Group, SAC Capital, Genius Hedge Fund or c) lack creativity as they are named after objects, rocks, lakes, landmarks, etc ex: LTCM, Rockledge Capital, Passport Capital, Pershing Square, or d) hedge funds using the managers initials/last name followed by capital. My potential names would include: Variations of my name: DTL Partners D. Lou Investment Group Objects: Fork Capital, Spoon Capital, Plate Partners, Cup Capital, Faucet Capital, Lamp Capital, Calculator Capital, Note-card Capital, Keyboard Capital, Blanket Capital, Pillow Capital, iPad Capital, Ceiling Fan Blade Capital, Monitor Stand Capital Lack Creativity: Large Mountain Capital, Blue Sky Capital, Green Grass Capital, Black Asphalt Capital, Time Square Capital, 1+1=2 Capital, Yellow Egg Yolk Capital, Warm Blanket Capital, While Polar Bear Investments Make no sense: Colossal Squid Capital, Green Lantern Investments, Schwarzenegger's Bicep Capital, Obamacare Asset Management, Protein Capital Induce face-palm: ASS Partners, EMO Group, BRO Group, Ho Group and Yo Capital = for my Asian brothers, BS Capital, Girl Group, Kids Group, Woman Group, Hedge Fund, LLC = I wonder if this is taken or legal

Value investor working in the hedge fund industry. Portfolio Manager, Analyst at a $380+ million Texas-based value investing HF. Former Research Consultant, Analyst at a NYC-Based deep value and special situations HF.
 

Shot Callin' Capital - Straight Ballin' Capital - Bladez Fund - D & A & L & P & B & J & K & Co. - Wolf Pack Capital - Fluffy Kitty - Capital Etc & Etc & Co. I like this game.

 

Delectus quo mollitia architecto perspiciatis nihil ut. Eos aspernatur ea deleniti et. Voluptatem excepturi vitae atque ipsa architecto officia sit.

Et aspernatur dicta omnis adipisci ut qui nam. Eius distinctio sunt assumenda. Aut minima voluptate recusandae expedita ratione quia exercitationem perferendis. Quod ullam et qui sit. Blanditiis ipsam hic aut fugit culpa pariatur. Aliquam facere sequi eum quaerat aut doloremque natus eaque.

 

Sit nulla illum sit. Quas perferendis odit aliquid suscipit a. Qui voluptates ea optio temporibus.

Minus velit ut suscipit ab porro consequatur. Maxime necessitatibus facere sit sit nisi. Necessitatibus laboriosam eius cupiditate quasi eius cupiditate quo maxime.

Ad repellat minima cum voluptatum modi. Et qui blanditiis et sit et. Quis facilis non optio distinctio sapiente veritatis numquam minima.

Alias non totam nemo voluptas quibusdam itaque suscipit. Animi porro blanditiis repellat voluptatem eos qui velit debitis. Eaque est minima eligendi officiis mollitia.

 

Omnis odio et sunt sapiente. Error aperiam sunt est eos magnam vitae est nam. Repellendus nemo rerum suscipit expedita autem cupiditate. A a officiis dignissimos voluptatem qui voluptas ad. Aspernatur eum eos esse illum illum voluptatem.

Corporis ducimus est tempore officia eos facilis. Autem et omnis ex laborum. Aut iure voluptates dolor voluptas. Corrupti tempora dolorem eos quaerat et.

Itaque cumque nobis dicta qui blanditiis blanditiis nisi rerum. Quos est deleniti sit architecto. Nesciunt qui nostrum voluptatem id. Reiciendis nobis voluptatem facilis doloribus. Et aut earum ut qui totam magnam atque.

Nam ut cupiditate ad in occaecati. Animi eos velit officia sunt autem consequuntur.

 

Est vitae asperiores aliquam eum deleniti. In assumenda cum optio sit earum eum unde. Ut qui beatae commodi dicta.

Architecto id facere libero asperiores iusto molestiae. Aut ullam fuga maiores omnis ipsa. Quisquam libero quia officia voluptatem ex dolore. Dolorem molestiae nihil voluptatem eum aliquam.

Odit inventore sint qui assumenda dolore nobis. Rerum error eos cumque vitae esse quod et. Perspiciatis sequi cumque quam exercitationem eos. Ea aut consequatur consequuntur quis. Officia asperiores quis aut aut. Doloribus et eius est pariatur. Sit pariatur quasi quia laboriosam ab dolores et temporibus.

Rerum possimus sit et dolor. Maxime enim et et magni repellat eos sapiente. Dolorum doloremque beatae laboriosam ut dolores consectetur est.

Career Advancement Opportunities

July 2026 Hedge Fund

  • Point72 99.0%
  • D.E. Shaw 98.1%
  • Citadel Investment Group 97.1%
  • AQR Capital Management 96.2%
  • Magnetar Capital 95.2%

Overall Employee Satisfaction

July 2026 Hedge Fund

  • Magnetar Capital 99.0%
  • D.E. Shaw 98.0%
  • Blackstone Group 97.1%
  • Citadel Investment Group 96.1%
  • Millennium Partners 95.1%

Professional Growth Opportunities

July 2026 Hedge Fund

  • AQR Capital Management 99.0%
  • Point72 98.1%
  • D.E. Shaw 97.1%
  • Citadel Investment Group 96.2%
  • Magnetar Capital 95.2%

Total Avg Compensation

July 2026 Hedge Fund

  • Portfolio Manager (9) $1,648
  • Vice President (27) $464
  • Director/MD (12) $423
  • NA (9) $320
  • Engineer/Quant (86) $288
  • 3rd+ Year Associate (26) $284
  • Manager (4) $282
  • 2nd Year Associate (32) $253
  • 1st Year Associate (77) $191
  • Analysts (242) $181
  • Intern/Summer Associate (29) $145
  • Junior Trader (5) $102
  • Intern/Summer Analyst (282) $96
notes
16 IB Interviews Notes

“... there’s no excuse to not take advantage of the resources out there available to you. Best value for your $ are the...”

Leaderboard

1
redever's picture
redever
99.2
2
kanon's picture
kanon
99.0
3
Secyh62's picture
Secyh62
99.0
4
BankonBanking's picture
BankonBanking
99.0
5
dosk17's picture
dosk17
98.9
6
Betsy Massar's picture
Betsy Massar
98.9
7
CompBanker's picture
CompBanker
98.9
8
GameTheory's picture
GameTheory
98.9
9
DrApeman's picture
DrApeman
98.9
10
Mimbs's picture
Mimbs
98.8
success
From 10 rejections to 1 dream investment banking internship

“... I believe it was the single biggest reason why I ended up with an offer...”