Anyone worked for a narcissist?
When I was, I was saving emails in a file folder in case I got gaslighted come review time and I wouldn’t lose my sense of reality.
Hundreds of interactions of “anon do this” anon does it word for word with no errors “your work sucks anon”. “Where can I improve?” “Haha funny anon, I don’t care what you think”.
Anon does valuable work for other team member anon sends to team per instruction of other team member team likes the work and make big decisions with it boss (unaware of the situation originally) proceeds to retroactively take credit for idea “Anon, nobody cares about your ideas” boss goes out of their way to say this in front of the whole team to assert dominance
Pretty amazing how 1 person can change an organization’s culture, even if everyone else enjoys working together.
It’s common in finance, but how do you stay sane through it? Golden handcuffs and all.
Wonder if a P&L based role would be any better since it’s performance driven and easier to distinguish winners and losers.
I do. Very tough. Can be abusive too. Need to just vent to stay sane through it. Need to always remember it’s them, not yet. And then need to plot a way to gtfo
When it comes to IB, you either work for or with a narcissist (either that or you yourself are the narcissist). The prestige of the industry attracts them.
Welcome to the industry. Give it a few years - you’ll be doing the same
Bitch made mentality
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/raisedbynarcissists checking in!
My mother is diagnosed NPD - also court ordered, cluster B's never seek treatment - and all you can do is run away and never look back.
Father is a narcissist too all my attempts at humbling him just phase through him.
The funny thing is, my father is the exact same, NPD. That is why I recognized the behavior quickly early on when I was working there (and why I’m aware enough to make this thread).
Good comment man
GTF out of the toxic environment & find another job. Document every date & time it takes place for proof of bullying & harrassment in the workplace.
Gaslighting is a serious offense in the workplace; those losers will never change, only switch the victims.
It's because of their own insecurity to have to look powerful & scared someone is going to look better in the role than them.
Sounds similar to the toxic work environment & culture at Goldman Suchs. I'll never call that company any other name. Office Arsonists every place I turned.
The end of that place was my beginning, and a great learning experience for me. Never again!
I was going to ask isnt most of IB / PE mostly working with narcissists….in reality, it seems like finding a non-toxic culture is much harder than it sounds (given finance etiquette is generally standard in some respects.)
My previous comment got deleted by mods, so I’ll make it milder.
Workplace is workplace. Can’t really control who you work with. End of the day, you’ll get a new job.
But before you go into business with or fall in love and get married to someone, who you suspect has a “high conflict personality”, you should Google the subject. And prepare.
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