Locust Walk is Paradise

6:30 AM—Wake up to absolute serenity. No emails. No missed calls. No frantic messages from associates demanding last-minute model updates. Just the pure, unbothered calm of elite dealmaking. While analysts at Goldman are waking up in a cold sweat, dreading another 18-hour grind, I rise at my own pace, knowing that our one deal of the year is cruising along at a measured, strategic pace. The best part? That one deal is going to single-handedly justify my incomparable $10,000 bonus—because at Locust Walk, we believe in working smarter, not harder.

8:30 AM—Arrive at the office. The team is tight-knit—just me and three other analysts, all of whom took the scenic route through JUCO before landing here. Unlike the overstaffed, bloated teams at so-called “elite” firms, we operate on a lean model—a sophisticated way of saying we are wildly understaffed but too strategic to admit it. We settle into the office, a space that perfectly reflects our firm’s values: no unnecessary luxuries, just the essentials—a printer that jams, some desks, and an unwavering belief in our own greatness.

10:00 AM—Big team meeting. The partners, fresh off another round of exploratory and preliminary conversations with clients that definitely aren’t ghosting us, assure us that this quarter is different. The pipeline is robust, the momentum is building, and we are weeks away from yet another game-changing transaction. Naturally, we discuss the checkpoint deal—the defining moment of modern finance. It was so big, in fact, that a Centerview recruiter LinkedIn messaged me (no they didn’t). Sure, other banks are announcing billion-dollar M&A deals left and right, but those are just transactional. Our deal? A statement.

1:00 PM—Lunch break. No sad desk salads here. No wolfing down takeout while buried under real work. Instead, we take a relaxed, big-picture approach to lunch, discussing critical industry topics, such as: Is Locust Walk the most underrated bank on the Street? (Yes.) Is Centerview worried about us? (Probably.) Does our website make us look too intimidating? (Maybe.) Are we the next EB? (Yes) Over sandwiches, we come to a consensus—Locust Walk is one major deal away from cementing itself as an undeniable powerhouse. We’ve been one major deal away for about a decade now, but that’s beside the point.

3:00 PM—A major development. An email! A real client email! A biotech startup might be interested in potentially raising capital at some point in the near future. The energy in the office is electric. We drop everything and immediately spring into action, carefully crafting a pitch deck that will undoubtedly change the game. Never mind that they’ll probably go with a larger bank—once they see the Locust Walk difference, they’ll be unable to resist. That’s just how elite firms operate.

6:00 PM—Another day, another step toward greatness. As we pack up, I take a moment to reflect on how lucky I am to be part of something this special. Sure, the deals take a while, the emails are few and far between, and my banker friends at real elite boutiques make twice my salary, but they don’t have what we have—vision. They don’t have the privilege of working on a firm-defining, industry-shaking, sector-revolutionizing deal maker like Locust Walk. 

9:00 PM—Networking As I turn off my PS4, (I can’t afford a PS5, my base is 30% below market) I look at my phone and see that a company alumni who lateraled to another firm accepted my LinkedIn request. I can hardly contain my excitement as this guy was a legend at the bank. I heard he was staffed on 2 live deals at once - yes, two - I quickly draft up a message asking if we can discuss his experience and why he wanted to leave paradise. After a full 15 hour day, 6:30am - 9pm, (I sent an email at 8:54 of a news report to my Associate), I head off to sleep and dream of what lies ahead as a Locust Walk MD.