Do you guys ever feel like wanting to roundhouse kick your clients to the head? It's like they're illiterate and can't read simple emails you send. It's always corporates, never have this problem with the PE's. Goddamn they suck. /end rant
Edit* Please do not take this post seriously. It was meant to be in humor... at least for the most part
| +64 | Any tips for sleeping well? | 32 | 3h |
| +45 | Post-IB Paths (non-buyside) | 10 | 7h |
| +37 | Background check issue IB Full Time | 18 | 15h |
| +31 | The Impossible Triangle: Speed, Quality, and Managing Directors | 9 | 2d |
| +31 | Wealthy Parents / Jaded | 8 | 1h |
| +25 | Q dealflow slowdown | 22 | 1d |
| +25 | Venezuela Debt Restructuring - LAZ vs CVP | 8 | 1h |
| +23 | HL vs WB | 18 | 1m |
| +23 | UBS GIG, LevFin, FSG Interns working Sundays and 85 hour weeks their first week? | 10 | 1d |
| +20 | What is the standard number of M&A deal reps? | 8 | 19h |
Career Resources
Get instant access to lessons taught by experienced private equity pros and bulge bracket investment bankers including financial statement modeling, DCF, M&A, LBO, Comps and Excel Modeling.
If you think that's bad you should try working on-site with clients as a consultant.
sounds like you've got a bright future in sales ahead of you
"Fuck the client"
Here is a typical conversation I had with clients when I was on the opposite end of the aisle:
Me: Can you please send over your most recent P&Ls and Balance Sheet?
Client: It's not ready yet.
Me: Ok, thanks, do you know when we can expect it? Its the last item that's pending and we then we are good to close.
..........dead silence for SEVEN days
Client: (sends me an email with manager CC'ed) What is going on over there! We been waiting TEN days and haven't heard back anything!
Me: (takes keyboard and breaks it over head)
I routinely had to close my eyes and count to 5 when I worked in public accounting
If you're exclusively using emails to communicate with clients then you have yourself to blame. Email is the lowest form of communication and very easy to ignore, forget, and disregard
You know what's not easy to ignore? Someone calling you every 5 minutes, with high energy and a pleasant demeanor, and who is completely and shamelessly unaffected by your inevitable annoyance
I'm a first year analyst.. No CEO or CFO or any upper management would appreciate a call from me lol
Several general things here, even though I don't know the specifics of your particular situation
It's not just about what they most appreciate, it's about getting done what you need to get done and creating the largest possible net benefit to any given situation. Everything has an upside and downside
If you can email someone then you can call them, or call someone that works for them, or arrange a call, or at the very least leave a voicemail
No one needs to know or be reminded of your being a first year analyst. You are a representative of your firm
What I'm trying to say is that it's very easy to complain ad nauseum about mentally challenged clients. It's much harder to accept how things are, weigh the pros and cons of various actions, and take command of a given situation to make things go your way without destroying any relationships