Embarrassed getting off at UBS train stop

It’s 8:43 a.m. and you’re on the train with a perfectly respectable job in finance. You went to a good school. You did the internships. Your bank is upper middle tier on the WSO ranking you agree with.

Unfortunately, your office is near UBS.

The train approaches your stop. Everyone else is continuing to midtown. People with futures. You begin gathering your belongings discreetly, like someone leaving a movie that everyone else is enjoying.

“Excuse me.”

A guy in a quarter zip moves half an inch. You have to squeeze past him. Briefcase first. Full view of the outfit. There is absolutely no plausible way you’re getting off here to do something creative.

You can feel him making assumptions.

He’s probably thinking UBS.

He’s actually looking at a picture of his dog, but you can’t take that chance.

“Office is around here,” you say.

He nods.

“Not UBS.”

He removes an AirPod. “What?”

The doors are closing. You have to choose between clarifying your employer and making it to work.

You get off.

A career built over several years, destroyed in front of a man whose name you will never know.

On the platform, an actual UBS analyst falls into step beside you. Same shoes. Same haircut. Same exhausted expression. From the train, you are clearly colleagues. Possibly friends.

You slow down. He slows down.

You check your phone. He checks his phone.

For thirty feet you are co-heads of getting absolutely fucking nowhere.

You stop to tie your shoe.

You’re wearing loafers.

By the time you reach street level, you’ve decided this is unsustainable. You could get off one stop earlier and walk fifteen minutes. Or stay on to midtown, establish credibility, then double back.

Forty extra minutes a day is a small price to pay for exit opportunities.

You consider buying a bag with your actual firm’s logo on it, but the only one you have is from your summer internship. You are now seriously considering commuting with a nylon drawstring bag to protect the reputation of an institution that would replace you before lunch.

At your desk, your associate asks why you’re late.

“Train issue.”

He says you should leave earlier.

You open WSO and search “UBS outlook.” Things aren’t looking good. You don’t work there, own the stock, or know anyone there, but at this point their recovery is central to your quality of life.

Tomorrow you’ll take an Uber.

You calculate the monthly cost. It’s significant.

You briefly consider whether UBS pays enough to cover it.

Getting off at the UBS stop is paradise.