Feeling FOMO and sadness about missing out on NYC
A long-story short: I'm 27 and did my banking analyst stint in a LCOL city that didn't have much going on. I didn't have much time to go out anyway but still felt pretty sad given I had no friends in the city and felt FOMO as all the people I knew from school were in NYC seeming like they were living it up.
Was laid off after a few years but didn't really enjoy banking anyway. I wasn't really sure what I and tried an entrepreneurial business route and had some major mistakes (long-story) and burned through most of my savings. Felt compelled after that to try and look for an IB job to make some money again and have the opportunity to finally move to NYC but ended up accepting corp dev offer in another LCOL city as recruiting had dragged on for so long.
Now I'm feeling that I made a very bad choice. I feel like I'm getting up in my age and am going to regret and miss out on the fun and young NYC life (my college experience was horrible; another long-story), so I always though NYC and having friends there would be good way to get back the lost time or what I had missed out on. I know maybe this sounds silly and is hard to explain, but I feel like so far I've wasted my 20s and the last thing I want to do is look back with regret or be the one guy in his 30s trying to relive something I never experienced.
Even another large city like Chicago or LA or something could help but where I'm headed is far from that. Am I romanticizing the 20s NYC life or is there another way to get back the lost time and make it feel like I had a fun 20s with memories? Thank you all
Everyone experiences FOMO at some time or another, but I think you are selling yourself a bit short. Plenty of people move to NYC around your age and I would think a lot of people would say late 20s early 30s is one of the best times to be in the city. Also, you have hated the city, it isnt for everyone and it took me a long time before I liked it. You are also probably going to live another ~50 years so don't worry about lost time. You have plenty of time to be a degen in the city or to climb mt Everest or whatever it is you think will bring you contentedness. I didn't go straight to college after high school so I didn't even start my banking stint till I was your age. Comparison is the thief of joy, who cares what your college cohort did in their 20's, focus on what you want to do today and tomorrow.
Following. Kinda a similar situation here. The way people on here talk about NYC makes it seem kinda magical. And the cost savings living elsewhere are not as huge imo considering you need a car everywhere else. So maybe they are right. Is it really that big a difference between cities a few steps below i.e. Atlanta, Nashville, Philly, Austin, Dallas, Houston, Minneapolis, etc ?
Check your math. Living alone in Houston / Dallas / MCOL cities gives you extra cash that pays for a car in 1 year. Income tax + rent delta.
Living with a roommate in those cities probably gives you an extra $10k to $15k annually as an incremental delta
Maybe I'm just wrong and trying to convince my bias in going to NYC but that doesn't seem like a huge delta. So like if solo, let's assume $1500 a month less on rent and I suppose tax savings of maybe 20k max on a decent 150-200k salary so less than 40k extra savings before car payments. Assuming $500 a month in car + gas + maintenance + insurance (probably conservative). You end up with a little over $30k in annual savings...maybe it's more worth it on a larger salary though given the larger tax savings and be able to rent a much higher end place or buy property.
I don’t think you work in IB - might even be an intern.
$40k extra take home not a big deal every year as a first year analyst? And you think a car payment + gas and insurance is a ton of money for an analyst who lives at the office?
Your $40k delta is accurate for a first year analyst. It absolutely widens for associates and above.
Wrong. Don't make assumptions about people like that ever again. I did used to work in IB for four years. I'm certified on here and have been on this site for years with hundreds of comments. The delta sure for a person in IB is there but I, like most people who start out in the industry do not work in IB or PE anymore. For corporate salaries of 150k or so the delta is not much. And yes regardless of where the analyst lives a car payment + insurance (forget the gas even) is not going to be cheap unless you're driving a beater or paid in cash...
“Wrong don’t make assumptions about people like that ever again”
Lmao dude you’re so soft and hiding with an anon account. You have no concept of wages in the US. Somebody making $150k in corp dev in NYC is barely getting by vs. having a good life in a cheaper city
“Did used to work in IB” probably not with that grammar
Hey moron, how much do YOU think corp dev managers are bringing in then? At the early associate level you are not lateraling higher than the manager level. The vast majority of people living in NYC are making less than 150k as well believe it or not. Like most people, IB has rotted your brain.
Guys, be kind to each other. just kiss it out
Bump
Went to school in NYC and also lived there as a kid as well. People who never experienced NYC romanticizes NYC and people who live there thinks NYC is like their branding. The only upsides honestly I think are the dating scene and food. Just get a job in NYC and experience it for yourself. I absolutely hated my time there for all the reasons you can read online.
Spot on.
The kids from small towns idolize it - the people who grew up near a major city typically do not
Kids who are originally from NYC (Upper West/East) also used to name drop the specific neighborhood they are from. Was pretty annoying. I think if you are financially well-off and are a girl NYC may be arguably the best place to live though due to gazillions of options to spend money on, from fine dining to the newly released luxury brand clothing.
Interesting. Thank you for the thoughts. Did you also not like it because you don't like to typically go out much/aren't a fan of bars, clubs, etc or were there other reasons for the dislike? What would have been a city perhaps you would have preferred instead?
Always too crowded, noisy, and smelly. Look man, just take a job in NYC and experience it for yourself. I've had a then fiance now wife, so did not have many opportunities to enjoy the night life/dating. However, from what I've seen it's great. I always preferred less crowded places like Seattle, California, and the Midwest. I can confidently say I am not the norm, thus you will likely enjoy NYC, especially if you are not from one of the most urbanized areas. I guess I'll say I was fortunate to have lived in all the major cities early on because of my parents that I don't fancy those places.
if it makes you feel any better I am college student in nyc rn and everyone your age does the same shit on repeat especially if they work in some sort of corporate job. It's just spam the same bars, and they even dress the same boring way. I don't see any of the corporate types at your age doing actual fun shit in the city.
I can see how you may get FOMO (i am assuming insta stories or some other social media), but I can assure you they aren't having as much fun as they make it seem in those posts. I walk by thousands of these kinds of people on my way to class, and they only smile for the cameras. Once those are down, everyone's hunched over on their phone (so no real convos or good times)
Can you work remotely for a bit? Try a month out in NYC during May or Sept and you’ll quickly get a taste of whether or not you’re missing out. Sure it’ll be expensive but it’s cheaper than checking in the bag of regret you’ll be carrying around if you don’t do it.
what's wrong with that? why do people create age boundaries for themselves? you can do anything you want at whatever age you want. moreover, to have fun in NYC (or any other place) you need money and time. and in your 20s, you have neither - you're just working all the time making a bit of money and saving and investing it so it starts working for you. it's late 30s and 40s is when you have money and time to have fun in NYC.
NYC sucks now. It isn't what it used to be - don't worry about it.
What exactly do you think is different? 2020-22 were strange, but now it seems fine again.
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Brother, the 'Omg I get to live in NYC it's awesome' feeling literally only lasts a week, maybe a two. Moved here for work from the midwest and my god I feel poor even tho I make +40k in TC from my previous job. The pros are really baked into the fact there are +8 mln people that live in NYC vs ~3 mln in Chicago, ~4 mln in LA, ~1 mln in SF... Like of course the food, night life, and overall 'feel' of the city will better (subjective). But with any positive I can find twice as many downsides of living here (cost of living, literally smells like pee every day expect in the winter, trash everywhere, way too many people / overcrowded, everything costs a minimum 2x than what you would find in another city, rent here is almost a crime against humanity...) "People who never experienced NYC romanticizes NYC and people who live there thinks NYC is like their branding" is absoutely spot on. The amount of people I know to that moved to NYC for work and make NYC their brand is beyond measurable, literal meat riders for a city that see's these types of people by the thousands if not millions. Best advice would be to live here for 1 year, maybe 2, and leave before you get priced into the life style. It's good to have the 'NYC' experience / credentials on your resume but not worth it in the long-term. But in terms of FOMO, use an extended weekend or 1 week PTO and you'll understand why living here isn't as glam as you think.
This is one of the most helpful comments I've seen so far on this board.
How much longer do you think it'll be before you get the itch to move on?
I've had the itch for some time now. however, I have certain financial goals I would like to achieve before moving back to a much more affordable city.
NYC only. (Yes, I've lived in many other places, including recently.)
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