Hazing in the Bullpen. What to do?
Hi all, just wanted to share some of my experiences at a top EB (think Leerink/Muller Buckfuck/Canaccord Genuity/Piper Sandles). Recently started grinding away in the bullpen as a full-time analyst and have been subject to some hazing rituals on the desk. Just a few days ago, my VP made me film a few TikToks that were borderline uncomfortable (think twerking to a Megan Thee Stallion song). I also have to keep a grape soda breeze vape on me at all times and offer it up to any of the senior bankers when they want a fat buzz. It gets even worse when our group fails to close a pitch (very rare since I work at a top EB). After the last pitch we failed to close, my MD brought me to the bathroom and started pouring liquids of varying consistency on my head (think pickle juice, oreo blizzard). I was wondering if anybody else has had some similar experiences on the desk at a similar top EB. I obviously love my job (I should take in $200k+ in total comp) and want to stay on the team, but don't want to be subject to these nefarious activities any longer. Any advice?
Bump, facing a similar situation at a similar top EB (think Jef)
Obviously a tough situation here. Would recommend just staying the course and keeping your head down, we all went through it. I had to crank out a weather video each morning, jersey club dance for the senior bankers, bows and toes, etc. You'll be fine and before you know it you'll be the one rewarding analysts with dog treats.
Seems like you had a pretty rough time. Could you please let me know what bank you worked for/work for? I have a kink for getting hazed by my senior bankers and would love to lateral over.
Kink for getting hazed? I don't think you understand what you're getting yourself into. With that being said, sounds like you should take your talents over to BMO... After that, go get me a biggie bag and bring it to 151 W 42nd street along with chill zyns.
Bump, interested to see how this plays out
I would love to work in an environment like this
I'm his VP and can confirm it's real.
Hmm definitely a sticky situation here. If I was you, I would start leaving "stinky" items in the office of your senior bankers. This could include feces, Indian food, chicken shawarma, etc. Show them who is boss and don't back down. Good luck monkey.
Better than diabetic American food
Reminds me of my analyst days… A buddy in my class once brought in Cinnamon Zyns for our associate instead of Wintergreen and he got chair privileges revoked for a week.
"chair privileges" is wild
Following
Need a vape to the 47th floor. You have 10 minutes.
Can second the above comments. Definitely one of those things you need to go through as an analyst. The only advice I will share is to make the most of your days grinding away in the bullpen because you will miss it when you are an old fuck like me with a receding hairline and two-ex wives who each stole a substantial portion of my net worth.
Bump, currently getting fucked on in the bullpen as well. Reminds me of the late nights I spent in the Sigma Chi house back in the day. Boy do I not miss it one bit.
These MDs and VPs act like kindergarden kids with half the self-control to restrain from their animalistic nature of bullying and harassing. Ewwww
Would not consider miller muck buck a top EB please fix
I went through similar trials and tribulations my first year on the job at my BB (think JPM/MS/Fifth Third)
Congrats on MS
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