How do I get my associate laid?

My associate in many ways has done everything "right" in life. They went to a target school, had a career for a few years, got their MBA, and then came over to banking post-MBA. But overall I have seen / chatted with them about how they are lonely, have no one to hang out with, and overall doesn't have much to live for except for the prestige / money.

As of recently, the associate is just a complete c*nt to work with. They're quite curt, yell at juniors, and are passive-aggressive. Given that they have been focusing on the grind for 10+ years and haven't really gotten out of their shell I'm not sure they've gotten down-n-dirty recently to let off some steam - let alone ever.

That being said, how can I get my associate laid / dating someone so they are more pleasant to work with?

 
Most Helpful

Being successful in dating is just like being successful in finance. It requires a lot of the same finesse. You can’t just rely on the name brand/prestige nor can you just hop on the first deal that comes across your way. You have to have mindset that you don’t need to invest in every deal—you have options. Constantly searching and seeing what’s out there. Once you find a prospect, demonstrate (not simply say) that you have the confidence to close, and more importantly, demonstrate that can bring real value. When you get a deal you like, you gotta do the proper DD. The push/pull tease to get terms right, get the seller sweating a bit—dying to close. Once you’ve got the momentum, execute the docs swiftly and smoothly. Then you have the closing party.

Frankly, either your associate needs to learn how to apply skills from his job to dating, or be better at his job.

 

This always brings up an interesting question for me. If you friend is a virgin and you bought him a hooker to pretend that she's seducing and then fucking him, is your friend really not a virgin anymore? Like yes we all understand in the literal sense he's not, but most people don't count buying hookers as a legitimate losing of virginity. If the hooker acts like she's into your friend and just wants him badly, the friend is under the impression that it's a natural encounter. However, in reality, you just bought a hooker to make it seem real. This is one of the greatest philosophical questions of our generation.

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