How to break into Operations

Hi Monkeys,

I know a lot of you are trying to break into operations and while I know that it can be quite hard and competitive at times, you need to stay positive. I would like to share with you some tips that you could use to secure that sweet Ops job.

Essentially, there are a few critical questions you need to ask yourself before even attempting to break in or network into Ops, here are a few questions you need to be completely honest with yourself.

1. Do I have a pulse?

One of the most fundamental prerequisites to a successful career in Ops, is to have a pulse with a functioning heart beat. If your body functions as mentioned above, you are one step closer to that juicy role.

2. Do I have any form of ID?

If you have any form of identification, be it a passport, driving license or even a Starbucks loyalty card, you are now fully qualified to work in ops, congratulations.

3. Am I committed to a life of celibacy?

Working with 7 cats Sharon and TV addict Abigail, it is essential that you wave your reproduction rights away in order to soak in that culture. After all, sacrifice is essence of love.

4. Can I dead lift 300 with my copy & paste finger?

To stand out from other ops people and have a chance to move into a more senior role, it is essential that you develop a muscular copy and paste finger, unfortunately, genetics has a lot to play here.

5. Can I mimic a rock?

If you want to achieve maximum success in ops, you need to think like a rock, nay, you need to be a rock. Why walk or do something when you can just sit and be.

I hope that this guide will help you gain that edge over the other candidates. Don't forget, with enough dedica... with enough effor... with enough breathing, you can achieve it.