I broke down crying tonight

Lots of these types of posts lately. Maybe consider a new role? Lots of cool opportunities in corp fin with WLB and decent comp. No point in making yourself so miserable just for a job

Find something different and lock it down ASAP. Understand though that if you go on-cycle then there’s a very real chance you’re just going to wind up with another banking type experience.

You’re learning a valuable lesson - don’t just chase the money. Find something you actually like, where you get paid decently well and can trust the people you work with. You’ll be a much more complete human which makes you a better employee and creates real sustainability.

I had to grind it out in IB in a group that everyone on this site regards as extremely good but very sweaty. It led to a great PE seat that was a good experience but often was just 2.5 more years of IB. Then I left for a HF and it’s much better fit for my personality, I have a good PM who is a decent person and I’m thriving as a result. But I sacrificed a ton to get here and my significant other got a shell of a human for years. Was it worth it? I mean to get here I guess so but I do wonder if I should’ve taken a more corporate role with predictable hours and considerably less stress. My bank account would be smaller but I probably would be happier and experienced more of what life has to offer.

You either have to accept that it’s going to be a grind up, find a way to short circuit the process or get out of the rat race. They all have their own challenges (short circuiting probably the hardest) and all have different rewards. Just have to decide what you really want and then you have to be comfortable with the decision you’ve made. Cant second guess it or the decision-making process will eat you alive over and over.

You had a break down a month or less into the job? You're doing something wrong. If you can't handle work and recruiting then don't recruit now. You don't need to be so prescriptive in life.

/

You’ve been on the desk for under a month and the first few weeks on the desk always feel like being hit by a train. It’s completely normal, everyone goes through a rough adjustment period. Think it’s too soon to seriously think of quitting.

Why put yourself through this… Sort if understand going into banking without truly considering sacrifice, but if you’re breaking down this early then why put yourself through stress of on cycle. This career doesn’t sound like its for you.

I know that sounds harsh but you gotta remember it’s just a job, don’t stress too much about the stuff. If you’re smart enough to get into banking, you will have a relatively successful career no matter what you end up in. Need to sacrifice, sometimes pushing yourself more than you think you can go, but not to the point of losing yourself entirely in the process.

Different perspective here. I just finished my two year stint and have the benefit of hindsight to give my few cents.

Started the gig in 2020 during WFH and definitely felt the struggle at the start. Had a couple days where I felt the same as you - cried out of nowhere totally unexpected. I was and still am a dude who is always happy. The crying out of nowhere and stress of the banking job was something I never experienced before and had me questioning if I was in the right place for me. my friends seemed happier and grass was definitely greener on other sides. Looking back, I’d attribute it to (i) not feeling accomplished and (ii) not fully appreciating what I was working towards. The lack of junior to mid level mentorship is probably what it was tbh. Talk to folks who’ve recently experienced been in your shoes and can speak to the benefits while recognizing the difficulties. I, for one, pushed through it all and couldn’t be happier now.

Lemme break it down at a level beyond the immediate advice people give here of quit or be happy and shut up.

(i) Let’s contextualize your situation. In college, you get graded amongst your peers and you get rewarded on a semesterly basis in accordance with your efforts. This a 4 month feedback loop that you’ve been hardwired to work towards for your whole life. Until this point

Once you enter the banking world, your judged against your level. An analyst. Everyone from ASO2 and up is judging you against their best analyst experience. The feedback loop is longer (and I expect it only gets longer the further you are into your career). This is a fundamental difference between life before and after work that I think is extremely under appreciated amongst new grads. I highly recommend figuring out what this shift in feedback loop means for you.

As a first year analyst, you’re not going to be appreciated much. To be frank, that’s the nature of the job. First year analysts just don’t add enough value off the rip from college to garner the admiration of seniors (no matter how much or how little value they add themselves). A good analyst, though, battle-hardened by some tough deals over the course of say months 5-15 of the stint will really develop their credibility to the level that a whole organization or deal team could come to appreciate.

(ii) This is where the job turned around for me big time. Post month ~15. You realize how much the hours added up when you see a class of analysts and associates come in below you. Shit is honestly beautiful. Despite the hours still being tough bc you have a good 3 quarters ahead of you before the analyst stint ends, you know what you have worked for and you can project where you’ll be by the end of it. You’re in a bootcamp. If you didn’t question the difficulty, was it worth it? Did you maximize the time?

Depends on your scope for your life. What are you willing to give up for what kind of growth and in what environment. I say this bc I recognize there are levels to this shit in banking and the corporate world in general. I worked hard and cried, but my buddy at the bank next door worked harder. Don’t know how he did it, but we both look back now and are appreciative of the experience. Stockholm syndrome? Hahaha, yeah, I feel like I had it in year 2.

I think end of the day it comes down to what you’re willing to put in to what you expect to get out of it. You need to always judge for yourself - am I growing from this experience and am I getting what I want out this and it’s teething pains? Or do I genuinely dislike this and I’m not going to get the commensurate monetary and/or intellectual compensation for this effort.

I obviously stuck through the process and couldn’t be prouder/happier for it. I STRONGLY considered staying at the gig (something I never imagined for myself the days when I felt the lowest and was weeping). Life after recognition within an organization is great - you get to make what you want of it and people give you your due leeway. You just need to be honest in your communication with them in order to pre-empt the options you want for yourself.

The job’s definitely not for everyone and requires a level of mental fortitude, but if you’re someone who wants to push through hard times to realize something greater then I suggest you do so. The network, business acumen, financial compensation, and toughness this job builds is nearly unmatched to this day and I’ll never regret the grind. Fight for yourself. Fight to be recognized for your work. and fight for your team in the PowerPoint and Excel. Things will fall into place. Amen.

(I wrote this drunk, so ignore the grammatical issues)

You aren’t a TOP G than ~ tatertot

But woman empowerment amirite?

try to get some time, even if just 30 minutes, for yourself, mate. Not worth killing yourself over expectations and dreams of others that aren’t inherently originating in you.

Practicing LBOs is great but honestly you need to prioritize sleep as well. That extra 5% of LBO studying is worthless if you are an exhausted human shell on every call, because you won't even make it to those case study rounds.

Get some sleep and if you are this stressed still, consider if offcycle/waiting for next oncycle is better for you as well

I'm getting the sense that a lot of people here are telling you to quit and move on and whatnot, but I hope to offer a slightly alternate view- when I did my first year, I also had a breakdown about a month into the job. I had been this high achieving student all my life and I was excited to work, but there I sat: stressed, feeling incompetent, alone.

Almost every analyst will tell you the first six months are the hardest and I thought "no way can I make it that long" but lo and behold six months comes, and I distinctly remember having a late night on a Friday and thinking "this isn't as bad as it used to be". Don't get me wrong, it still sucks but the awful feeling you have right now goes away as you get better at the job, more foresight into how long certain tasks take, and most trust from seniors.

Obviously, if you're having serious mental health issues it's totally okay to step away and say it's not for you, but I'd really consider if what you hate about this job is just in passing or fundamental to the day to day experience.

Now for some actionable advice, push back on your work and focus on prepping on-cycle. The stress of this job tanks exponentially after you sign your offer. Also speak to as many people as possible at your future buyside firm to really get a sense for the culture. If you hate the sweatiness of your current role, take that wisdom in DD for your next. Two years can be a literal eternity doing something you hate.

It’s been quite a while since I was an analyst but the first 6 months are always the most jarring. I distinctly remember being like “what the fuck did I sign up for” and my family thinking I was a less pleasant person to interact with

If you’re the typical driven Type-A individual, the feeling of incompetence and inadequacy is likely new combined with the cluelessness of navigating adulthood.

Id try to give it a few months and see if you reach that inflection point where the job is finally sustainable (I.e., your teams trust you, you finally “get it” and you realize at the end of the day we are not saving lives so you’re not so hard on yourself)

In the interim, try to understand whether you fundamentally dislike this job (and finance as a whole) and / or you’re simply overwhelmed by the learning curve.

The reason I say this is because private equity (depending on the shop) is not going to necessarily be a massive improvement in lifestyle / work culture 

Very surprising to hear you’re going through this only a few weeks into a job. I remember the first few months I was in pure fight or flight mode, just focused on surviving. Just focused on making it to the next day. 

One thing that might help is keeping things simple. Right now it feels like you’re getting crushed because you’re carrying the weight of the world on shoulders. You’re trying to make your family happy, you’re trying to see your friends, you’re trying to make your VP happy, you’re trying to keep up with your peer analysts, you’re trying to talk to all the headhunters, and you’re tying your self worth and happiness to every single one of these things.

Try simplifying as much as possible. The goal is to survive. The goal is to make it one more day. When you’ve done everything on your calendar for that day, you’ve won. There’s time enough later to have breakdowns over not seeing friends and family, but you’re at a stage of your life where you won’t be the best friend and the best son you can possibly be. But that’s okay, because that’s not your goal right now. That will be your goal later. For now, just make it another day. 

Want you to know this isn't uncommon, this isn't a sign of weakness, you're human. 

People don't know what they really want - and what they can physically and mentally handle, until in the business. It takes some time. You're figuring out your limits and what you can/cannot do. It takes a little to learn but there are more important things.

I too learned the hard way what I mentally could handle. You'll be able to learn how to understand your limits, and still be successful, plenty do. 

Happy to chat on DM too

I really, really struggled the first few months on the job to the point that each day I considered quitting with nothing lined up. Luckily people talked some sense into me and told me to coast and collect a paycheck while trying to figure out what to do. 
 

I lateraled about 6 months in to a different bank and my life improved tremendously. I personally don’t care about exit opps and would be fine coasting (1-2 weekends a quarter, don’t usually work after 11:30, don’t do calls before 9, take a week off - but “only” make 150 as an A1 ) until I’m 30 and collecting a midrange paycheck before leaving the industry entirely.

Here are the questions I was asking myself when I was looking:

1. To what extent does money matter

2. Do you find the industry you’re working in interesting (fig, consumer, hc)

3. Is the work itself bearable (taking notes, slicing logos)

4. What do you like about the current people you work with, what do you wish was different

5. What are 2-3 things that you hate about your current role that are totally unnecessary (my biggest annoyance was the daily, cameras on, 7:25 morning call, closely followed by the weekly 7am training quizzes)

Start setting some boundaries for yourself and get a dgaf attitude and this job becomes some much better. Ended up laterally 6 months in and my life is sooooooooooo much better. Lmk if you need any tips about anything.

d

If you can’t take the heat, get out of the kitchen. You put yourself and others in danger by stretching yourself too thin. Ego in check is the first step.

You sound like a completely pus*y. Grow a pair.

Simple solution: prioritize

1. Reduce your workload to a bearable level by pushing back on assignments very clearly

2. Recruit

Pussy

Jesus fucking Christ get a grip. It’s just two years, none of it actually matters so what if you’re tired. Zip up the man suit and get back to it!

Smoke some weed

It’s astonishing how many comments here are denigrating you for wanting better work life balance. Too many immature 20 year olds who think sleeping at the desk, eating out of styrofoam boxes and rearranging logos at 2am are holy grails of success.

OP, I did banking years before you (prior to the introduction of protected weekends, etc.). I’ll tell you that there is zero sense in sacrificing your physical and mental health for this job. People who are shitting on you in this thread are miserable analysts/associated themselves and are trying to make themselves feel better by calling you a pussy (somehow they think this makes them better than you).

The following is an excerpt from a speech given by the former CEO of Coca-Cola. Hope you find it insightful:

“Imagine life as a game in which you are juggling some five balls in the air. You name them work, family, health, friends and spirit. And you’re keeping all of these in the air.

You will soon understand that work is a rubber ball. If you drop it, it will bounce back. But the other four balls – family, health, friends and spirit – are made of glass. If you drop one of these, they will be irrevocably scuffed, marked, nicked, damaged or even shattered. They will never be the same.

You must understand that and strive for balance in your life.”

Stop being a bitch you prestigious target school fuck, and go back to work… or quit and find another job.

Alternative view - you do not need to recruit right now. It seems it's the straw breaking the camel's back. Just do it next year. Or stay in banking. Or wait for the one-off opportunities when your colleagues drop out

I think you've really succumbed to the rat race. You're doing all this shit, ruining your personal life for what? Do you even know why you want to go to PE? I think you need to take a step back and really ask yourself what you want the next 2, 5, 10 years of your life to look like.

And listen to some Billy Joel. Specifically Vienna