I'm Really Struggling - Please Help Me
3 years ago I beat stomach cancer. It took everything from me. Cost me a fortune, had to give up my IB job, and worst of all, it changed all of my habits. I was an average juuler like most people in their late 20s, loved pizza, and I probably tapped the bars too frequently on saturdays. Nothing a normal 28 year old wouldn't do. But after you beat stomach cancer - everything changes. The combinations of drugs and treatment they do on you is a true double edged sword. Yes, they cured my cancer. Here's another thing they did: introduce harmful bacteria to fight the cancer that pretty much stays in your gut forever. The side effects of having this include acne/rashes/bloating, no alcohol or coffee or anything fizzy, and a permanent inability to eat yeast and added sugars. Do you know what has yeast and sugar in it? Fucking everything.
I got a handle on the pimples really fast although my skin definitely isn't perfect so long as I stick to the script of fish/beef/salad only. The alcohol I learned to live without. But where I really need your help is with the food. I'm not a large man but I believe I've become a food addict. Because I can really only eat eggs, beef, salmon, fish, and a salad, the world has turned upside down. No dessert. No fruits. No sugar. No bread. No carbs. No dairy. No garlic powder. No seasoning. No hot sauce. No nothing. That eliminates 99% of foods out there. In the first month, I was doing ok. I had never eaten so much steak and eggs before, and I didn't mind it. Then I started getting cravings. Like a junkie on heroin. I would stand in the grocery store and just look at all the foods. I would watch youtubers eat 7 pounds of cake and 14 pizzas, longing to be able to just have a taste of it.
It's gotten too bad to bear. If I have to eat another plain piece of ground beef with eggs.... well you can fill in the rest. I don't want to live like this. I want to go out with my friends and eat pizza. I want to go have a beer with my coworkers. I want to be able to eat ice cream and popcorn at the movie theater. This food addiction thing is real. And I can't fight it. I caved one day and just ate an entire loaf of bread with PB&J. It gave me a dopamine rush more than any narcotic I tried in college. The outcome? 4 rashes across my face and 3 cysts the very next day. My body is fucked up. It's just fucked up. It's fucked up and I'm fucking fucked of fucking about it. I don't know how I got like this, but 18 doctors and a pile of medical bills later and the consensus is the same: stick to eggs/meat/salad with no dressing and avoid yeast/carbs and you can just have an ok life.
I can't do it anymore. Please help.
Go full on bodybuilder
I’d suggest you start by talking to a recommended psychologist about the anxiety, frustration and/or depression this is causing you. I mean I don’t know Jack about it but this seems a logical step.
Best of luck man.
This may be a stupid suggestion or somwthing a psych would recommend againts but what id you can just taste the food without swallowing it? Chew it up and spit it out and wash your mouth immediately after.
This is really hard. I think when you lose something you love, you need to replace it with something else. This is what all addicts (not just drug addicts) do to kick their addiction.
Find something else to fill the hole. It’s not going to be food related, but find something
It's so hard. It's not like I can plug that hole with getting high or alcohol, not that either one of those things would be healthy. But something has to spike the dopamine, and I'm already in good shape from not eating any carbs. No point in going to the gym. It's a torturous life in ways that very few can understand.
first off, this sounds really tough. You've basically been forced to eat like a body builder for the rest of your life.
I think there is a point going to the gym though. Not because you're not in already great shape from the forced diet restrictions, but because the natural dopamine release from pushing your body is something that may help you (more mentally).
As far as the diet is concerned, have you tried small quantities of the following to give your palate more variety?
It sounds like the no seasoning is very tough... I assume you've done patch testing to see if you are allergic to anything in particular? If you could narrow it down to a few specific things that don't play nice with your body, then you might be able to slowly introduce/test tiny amounts of spices that avoid the issues...
not sure if helpful?
I’m really sorry you had cancer and went through this / still going through the eating aspect. I hope it gets better soon for you and I will say a prayer for you.
I’m so sorry to hear about this. It must be very difficult to recover from a condition like this and be faced with the prospect of not eating carbohydrates indefinitely when the American diet is so dependent on them.
My approach is going to be different from the other posts here. The other posts are focused on coping and improving your mental state, which are important, and may be the only options you have. I’m not a physician, certainly not your physician, but I wanted to present some ideas to you which go more on the offense. Please pardon me if you’ve already tried these things or if I offend you. It comes from a very sincere place.
1. Prebiotics and probiotics to attempt to change your microbiome. This can be in the form of a number of supplements and foods you would eat. Yogurts and fermented foods like kimchi and sauerkraut are known to have some of these properties.
2. Various course of antibiotics, which I’m sure you’ve already tried, and I’m not certain if the bacteria you have would respond to it.
3. This is most outside the box, but that’s me, but what about phage therapy? People with IBS and Crohn’s disease have similar intestinal and digestive issues and have been able to successfully treat bacterial ailments with bacteriophages. Similar bacteriophages would predate on the type of bacteria you have. I doubt that this treatment would exist off the rack, but I would guess that a clinical researcher at a University studying bacteriophages in IBS could find interest in your case and want to help you. It’s more experimental, but could be a vanguard advance in medicine which would help others like you into the future. It could also give you more meaning and strength here and now.
Sorry to burden you with my layman’s comments. Just a curious monkey who thinks outside the box sometimes…
A suggestion and an add-on to the last point. You could try reaching out to Andrew Huberman neuroscientists from Stanford? He has a podcast inviting specialists across all scientific fields and is active on social media, which makes this course of action probable for success in a few ways:
His entire podcast is to make scientific knowledge accessible to the normal public. Based on this I think he is likely to respond. He is well connected with the best researchers in their respective fields, I would guess especially in the medical and human biology field because he is a neuroscientist. If he doesn't respond, I think he has a Patreon or something.
That’s a very interesting lead from the sounds of it. In my experience, research scientists tend to be some of the most generous “altruistic” people that there are, particularly if there’s an opportunity for self-aggrandizement by writing a paper on helping you.
So much gastroenterology I didn't expect to find in WSO. what was your college major (I'm MD)
Finance and accounting
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I really like the idea of going full body builder but I also want to propose ingesting THC somehow to make the food you're forced to eat taste better.
As a cancer survivor maybe smoking might not be the best way but ask your doctor.
Eliminate the salad and vegetables and go carnivore. Far from stomach cancer, but my psoriasis vanished when i went from only beef and veggies to only beef.
Go to a butcher and ask for some ribeye fat trimmings and toss those bad boys in the airfryer. Dont just eat ground beef and eat wayyyy fattier beef - if you dont eat enough fat your body will still want carbs. With the fat, I have no desire to eat anything other than delicious steaks and burgers
Just to throw this in, but what about pork or chicken too? Since he can eat eggs. Read some good stories about carnivore success. Even with salads, toss in some meats maybe? Give OP some flavor (minus the chicken of course. Cue the famous Matrix scene about chicken). Tenderloin is delicious, even if OP can't eat the spiced versions, but can they maybe eat the Terryaki flavored kind to at least get some flavor?
If you know how to properly cook a steak it doesn’t need anything except plenty of pink salt. And yeah you can eat other meats but again, make sure they are fatty enough. If i eat til full with chicken, Ill be hungry again later. If i eat til full with fatty steak, I could go like a day without being hungry again.
also you mention tenderloin - for example, I honestly never eat that lean of beef. When i say fatty I mean like 73/27 if ground (mainly what I can afford) and ribeyes/brisket (briskets cheap but I live in a dorm and only have an airfryer).
You need to do some kind of meditiation mindfulness gratitude training. You need a coach for this. You need to also treat the trauma and anxiety with a regular therapist, and maybe meds. Maybe marijuana or psychadelics or ketamine treatments at a doctors office, look up ketamine treatment for addiction, there are drs for this. Finding these three professionals is key
Hey man that sounds pretty rough. I think time with a therapist and spiritual person might help. You suffer greatly and it has meaning. Life is a big tease for you seeing everyone else happy and eating everything, but you can change the lens on your life. Good luck.
OP, you're an absolute beast. You kicked that bish to the curb, but nobody fights the battle alone. Really good advice here from Isaiah, please consider talking to someone.
Also, I believe 420 greatly enhances the life experience.
2 things - the coping aspect and the medical aspect. first coping. while I've not been through cancer myself I have helped family through life altering medical stuff that affected what types of foods they can consume. one is absolutely miserable and constantly complains about "I can't have that" and has not done any necessary steps to improve the other parts of their lifestyle, I envision them spending their remaining days bitter and miserable. the other has taken a "it is what it is" mentality and objectively had a worse health event (near fatal) and has a constantly sick spouse yet maintains a relatively sunny disposition. rather than lamenting what they can't have, they get creative with what they can. buddhism talks about desire being suffering, I think you get that first hand now, you desire what you cannot have and the only cure for that is deep philosophical reflection/meditation, which can take years but it is a productive journey. that's just an add-on however and doesn't address the other aspect, your actual gut
after a cursory search of the web this appears to be pretty common among people (particularly young) who've dealt with cancer. first thing I'd do is find a support group to hear other's stories which will likely get you higher quality information than a finance message board. second thing I'd do is look up some studies on this stuff if you haven't already and see if you can pay for a consult for one of the physicians that did the study or at their clinic (https://bmccancer.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s12885-019-6473-8 as an example). third thing I'd do is be super diligent about keeping a food journal. yes you got rashes and cysts from PB&J, and while this sounds crazy, how bad were the cysts? did they go down by themselves? was that a better or worse reaction from the last time you relapsed? I mean be super specific, like "rashing on neck from clavicle up to adams apple, half the circumference of the neck, mild itchiness similar to mosquito bite" so that way when you get the symptoms again you can ascertain if you're in stasis or improving. the beauty and the curse of our brains is we adapt to most any circumstance which is why memory is so tough and why people who went through hell usually don't remember it as hell (or if they do, that's what PTSD is sometimes).
it's possible your body is fucked forever, although it's also equally possible that like with one of my family members, the doctors are taking a low risk approach and telling you to just stick with what you got because then you won't call them again since they don't really have any experience in this area to begin with. another thing I'd do is slowly try to rebuild my gut microbiome. eat dirt (not literally, but maybe don't be fastidious about cleaning your veggies). garden, get a pet and let them lick wherever they want provided it doesn't turn into a mr hands documentary, eat kimchi, try drinking kombucha, try your hand at making your own fermented foods. with your dietary requirements you could probably become a korean bbq sensation right away (while being careful with the spices), and then I'd run randomized controlled trials on foods. for example, try one steak with a soy/scallion/sesame marinade (no sugar to my knowledge) see how that goes, then maybe go hoisin, then mongolian style, etc., and log that in your food journal. finally, realize that it took you a lifetime to build up your gut biome and only one asshole disease to destroy it so as cliche as this sounds, exercise patience. I believe in the body's ability to heal itself, but it's not an overnight thing, and this is another reason I recommend journaling and focusing on what's within your control. your journal will be a nice thing to revisit as you progress
and if I haven't said this enough, focus on all parts of your life, fix your wheel. descriptions should be in my top comments somewhere but if you need a refresher let me know
godspeed, I'm also always willing to help and listen if you need me
I don't have the answer to your problem, but I recommend you to read "Cured" by J. Rediger MD. It's a doctor exploring how many people have chronic or deadly health issues (including cancer) and how they 'miraculously' bounced back from them. This book won't give you the bulletproof cure for many deadly conditions out there, but the general idea is that "Our medicine has its shortcomings. There are things that even doctors didn't figure out. Try other 'unconventional' paths that some people from those stories tried".
The only general advice that I can give you is to keep doing your research and go through med literature to increase your understanding about your issue and find ways to ameliorate it or trying other unconventional treatments (with the supervision of an MD, of course).
I lost confidence in doctor after they were unable to diagnose me at one of my lowest points in life. They were attriuting different causes for my health deterioration (high blood pressure, hair loss, extreme stomach pain, tiredness, muscle weakness, etc. - all of that in my early 20s when my diet and exercise were above average, no family history with those illnesses, and relatively healthy all my life) and pushing pills to 'cure' those. In reality, I ended up having mercury toxicity. I diagnosed it by myself (I was reading a lot about my symptoms, including from specialized literature, then raised my points with my doctors) and I also treated it by myself (following safe treatments that my doctor wasn't even aware of, but with monthly controls). All the health issues pointed before disappeared.
Funnily enough, if they diagnose you with high blood pressure they put it in your records and you'll carry this label for all your life because that's something that presumably is permanent. After some months they took it away. So general wisdom, even when visiting your doctors: "Trust, but verify".
How did you get mercury toxicity? Your water or foods you ate like fish?
Fish.
I was bodybuilding and ate for 6 months, almost daily, 3.2 oz (90 gr.) of albacore tuna.
This should help your gut - you can get it at Whole Foods. Goat Milk Kefir.
I think you're going to learn to love vegetables and the first thing that comes to mind is Acorn Squash. It tastes like pancakes to me.
Also, can you have seeds/nuts/legumes? What about cheese?
Also, there is Cauliflower bread and products that might be good for you as a bread substitute.
If you're in NYC, check this place out. I know a Columbia schooled dietitian there and they are top notch.
https://weillcornell.org/gi-nutrition
"Nutrition at Weill Cornell Medicine
At Weill Cornell Medicine, we understand that nutrition plays an important role in maintaining a healthy digestive tract, which includes your stomach, intestines, colon, pancreas, and liver.
Improved nutrition can lead to improved digestive disease control, enhanced overall health and wellness, lessened gastrointestinal symptoms, and higher quality of life.
Our registered dieticians and physicians are highly trained in nutritional science, as well as management of digestive and liver disorders. They work closely with patients to develop personalized dietary plans to promote greater health and more active lifestyles.
Conditions Diagnosed and Treated with Nutrition Services
Our team of registered dieticians and physicians are experts in helping patients improve their nutrition and treat a variety of gastrointestinal disorders including:
● Gastrointestinal cancers (esophageal, stomach, intestinal, colon, liver, pancreatic)
● Excess weight gain or loss (including developing structured weight management plans)
● Swallowing disorders
● Eosinophilic esophagitis
● Gastroesophageal reflux disease
● Irritable bowel syndrome (IBS)
● Excessive bloating or flatulence
● Food intolerances
● Celiac disease
● Short gut syndrome
● Nutrition support: Total Enteral Nutrition (TEN) or Total Parenteral Nutrition (TPN))
● Small intestinal bacterial overgrowth (SIBO)
● Inflammatory bowel disease (Crohn’s Disease, Ulcerative Colitis)
● Fatty liver disease
● Pancreatic insufficiency
What to Expect with Nutrition Services
Weill Cornell Medicine registered dieticians work closely with patients and their physicians to understand symptoms, conditions, and lifestyle goals. They then develop personalized dietary recommendations. These may include:
● Modifying protein, sodium, or potassium intake
● Restricting total dietary cholesterol, fat, or sodium
● Addressing unique nutritional needs for development, adolescence, or pregnancy
● Changing behaviors to manage weight (to promote weight loss or gain)
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Meet Our Nutrition Providers
Our board-certified gastroenterologists and hepatologists provide expert care for a wide range of digestive and liver disorders. They collaborate closely with registered dieticians to offer personalized nutrition plans that promote wealth and a higher quality of life. Learn more about our physicians and registered dieticians."
Hey bro I have honestly been thinking about this post a lot and what it comes down to is controlling your brain chemicals. I think the only way you're going to get through this is through exercise. The meals will also taste amazing versus just the regular gruel.
Not sure if someone covered this in the posts above but if you're not allowed carbs/sugar, are you okay with like erithyritol. Its like sugar. If so, this opens you to so many options. Many diabetics eat this type of food or sugars and it works for them. However, it may or may not make sense for you if you have a sensitive stomach, which you might. I suggest asking your doctor about it and if they sign off on it then buy from this brand:
https://www.lilys.com/home.html
Travel to a third world country and remind yourself of your privilege, the food you have is a lot more than most people have access to. Might just put things in perspective for you.
+1.
Most people in the world eat the same food every day and don't complain.
I highly recommend giving this acupuncturist a try: https://www.yelp.com/biz/raah-acupuncture-los-angeles, even if you're not located in Los Angeles and you can only do a virtual consultation. He's a miracle worker, and has helped me drastically improve my health through acupuncture treatments, high quality herbs, lifestyle and diet recommendations.
Find things in life that make you happy outside of food. Like video games, movies, music, traveling, nature, hiking, sports, dating, sex, love, etc. Food is really just there for you to get necessary nutrition to live life.
I am quite a layperson in this area so sorry in advance but some people have improved GI symptoms when they travel. Could be a better mental state or (this is speculation) other reasons. That said, of course always follow the all food protocols wherever you travel (depending on area only eat cooked veggies etc.).
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