Insecure coworkers
I've been working for a while in a group and I have no fucking clue why there are some coworkers (including adults with families) that have the need to pull power moves on juniors without any reasons.
I mean, since starting I did my shit, been kind, and just went home. So why the fuck would someone play such moves? Are some of them so fucking insecure? I won't get into details to not be easily identified, but I'm sure you guys have enough imagination to get an idea.
I'm sure there is a guy that plays some power moves because I'm tall, handsome, and dress sharply, but he looks like the guy that only touched his wife in all his life, so I understand his frustration.
But it's maybe 10-20% of the people I've met so far (I won't lie, it's an extremely toxic place, but how's the job market I'm forced to remain here until something better pops up).
Anyway, how to deal with this type of coworkers (insecure/big egos/arrogant)?
It's also laughable because juniors (the victims) understand really well what's going on, and some of those guys also know we're not stupid. It doesn't get to the point of raising it to HR, but it's definitely something that you see it and know they're just trying to prove something.
> because I'm tall, handsome, and dress sharply, but he looks like the guy that only touched his wife in all his life
You sound pretty insufferable yourself. Maybe you guys deserve each other.
Obviously I keep those opinions for myself in a professional setting and I act the part of a junior that sits at the bottom of the corporate hierarchy. So what are you implying? That one can't keep his professionalism regardless of how he views some coworker? Touch grass.
Problem with him having “only touched his wife in all his life”?
As long as you have these attributes, you'll always have haters of all shapes and sizes. Not to brag but I've struggled with this as well. It's a misconception that attractive people have it easy in life. It's true in some regards but it can make your life hell in the wrong environments. Most dudes are very insecure and when they see someone who is "better" than them, it brings out the worst.
yeah, I don't know why the guys from above pushed the discussion towards that half-satire observation, but it tends to be true. From experience, when I usually sense some type of hate or envy from other guys, it tends to be often from those that are sexually frustrated. Those that are active in life, good social circles, doing well in their jobs and were happy about, were pretty chill.
What are the power moves? Hard to respond to why without the what. You could be right about them treating you poorly because of something you can’t control (they dislike you because you are attractive) but is that really more likely than it having to do with your work / attitude? I would be surprised…
I haven't worked with 2-3 of them directly and it's the same sentiment. But I won't lie, in the attitude part I walk like I own the firm, which has nothing to do with them, it's just my style. Do you think that they are trying to humble me? Because I don't see how my "swag" affects them lol
this sounds stupid, but trust me, I've never had anything to do with 2-3 of those guys and they still hate me. We've never even exchanged words.
That is probably it haha. I don’t really know what walking the floor like you own the firm means in practice but it doesn’t sound great. Just be a normal person. Having a healthy sense of confidence is good, but thinking of yourself as the main character is kinda annoying and can make certain people
think you don’t respect them. People also talk.
Can we get the details on these power moves?
I think the guy sharted on his desk
ngl this reads exactly like that intern on here who was complaining about being too alpha to get coffee for his MD
Frankly you sound like an arrogant guy who's flaunting it. Nothing wrong with having it, good for you. But if you're acting like a BSD as an analyst, people in the real world won't let you get away with it. Some folks might do it out of envy, others might do it out of spite for you trying to ignore the pecking order, etc. Same reason why you don't want to be the analyst wearing a Patek
I'm not saying good or bad here -- just that this is the way the world works. Esp in a field like finance where 1) you have a lot of people who don't have a single crap about emotions, 2) it attracts some pretty sus characters in many areas, and 3) folks tend to be highly superficial (care a lot about money / looks / appearances)
At my firm (work in AM now), the avg attractiveness for FO folks is probably a ~7 (money obviously higher than that). It's interesting where we pretty much have no one who's an 8 (maybe 1 person?) and absolutely no 9s/10s. I remember one girl who was a hard 9 interned here but she didn't get the return offer despite doing good work -- we speculated it might've been jealousy or a walking HR disaster. Either way, I guess there's a reason for that
OP here. I think you nailed it with point 1 - 2. In fact, because I know that as soon as the job market improves I'll be jumping ship, I don't really cared about their office order and similar bullshit. Now that you say it, this helps to put a bit into perspective their actions, but still, I worked in other places and they couldn't give a flying fuck about such bullshit as long as you delivered. Maybe because I came with this mindset approach on this environment, that is pretty toxic in its own, they are trying to drag me down.
Anyway, fuck those haters, I'm out as soon as I have the chance.
I find this happens in offices where the seniors are dumb or incompetent and need to find a way to stay relevant and try and coerce you into helping them look good, or at least dulling your shine.
"I'm sure there is a guy that plays some power moves because I'm tall, handsome, and dress sharply, but he looks like the guy that only touched his wife in all his life, so I understand his frustration. "
'But I won't lie, in the attitude part I walk like I own the firm, which has nothing to do with them, it's just my style"
you just sound like a cocky finbro douche that people dont like for being a cocky finbro douche lol, it aint that deep.
Try to work on yourself. You have a lot of good qualities, but what about areas you can improve on? Maybe you’re tall and handsome but have a boring or self absorbed personality, but most people just put up with it but a few others may dislike you for that reason, ever smoke a few joints and self reflect a little?
Big ego and arrogant yes, but let's say that I'm a VP/MD. The last thing I would care is how a junior behaves (as long as it's not disrespectful, which isn't). Instead I would be focused on bringing business, increasing efficiency and productivity, and generally look upwards on how to advance to MD/increase my paycheck. I won't even flinch nor intend to "put a junior in its place" as long as he doesn't interfere with the work of others and delivers even if he behaves like a BSD. That's more of an insecurity thing, feeling threatened or inferior by looking at someone younger than you by 10-15 years and having the "need" to put him down somehow. It's just pathetic.
I think you take the rest of the comments to heart. 23 year old acting like he owns the place never has nor will resonate with seniors (in investment banking, fraternities, sports teams, or any other equivalent with an established hierarchy). Doesn’t justify them being jerks in any capacity, but I get why they do. I think you focus on changing your attitude and really try to stay positive despite everyone else’s antics.
Your question is insecure. This initial post is insecure. You are insecure.
If you weren't, you wouldn't be asking strangers online about why others seem to be insecure and are treating you poorly. If you truly are tall and handsome, you might be insecure about your success so far in life, and that no matter what you accomplished, it was given to you in-part because of your looks and not earned by merit.
Everyone is insecure to some degree. But the more insecure you are, the more you care about what others think of you. This doesn't mean you should act like you own the place, it's about being comfortable in your own skin, and not letting others' insecurities impact your mental state.
Watch the Mad Men clip where Don Draper's subordinate accuses him of being afraid of him, because he is younger and with better ideas. He tells Don he feels sorry for him, while Don replies "I don't think about you at all". THAT is confidence. Be like Don (in this regard).
This reads like fiction.
"I can't provide any details because I don't want to be identified" is bullshit. This entire website is about specific people with specific problems, there's plenty of ways to remain anonymous. You can soften details, you can even change details entirely as long as the overall point of the story remains the same.
Yes. IB / PE has some MAJORLY insecure people. You have to remember that a lot of these folks (not all) were dorks in school so once they feel an iota of "power" they feel the need to bully others. There's also a bit of a frat culture where they went through similar hazing from their superiors so now they are passing it on you. It's lame af but I have met people like this.
The only thing you can do is put your head down and recruit, or wait for the new class to get hired in your group as you rise up the ranks. This will never change unfortunately.
The post sounds like it was written by an insecure coworker, who describes themselves saying they walk around like they own the place lol people don’t even know what they look like when they walk
Sometimes I've noticed people who aren't happy with themselves try to make others feel badly about themselves too, guess I'm wondering, do your coworkers make you feel worse or insecure about yourself, and if so, why?
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