JP Morgan Palladium Card
Raj has to pay $92.8 million, Corzine lost control MF Global, Goldman Sachs is losing money by the second, and Italy’s Silvio Berlusconi will finally resign. Oh yes, start basting the ham and get out the decorations because Christmas has come early this year.
What do I want for Christmas, you ask? Although ending the NBA lockout is definitely somewhere on the list, JP Morgan’s Palladium card is my number one priority with Santa...:
The palladium & 23-karat gold, laser engraved card will have you saying the Steve Jobs “don’t settle, keep looking” line to just about every underachieving broad you come across. Reserved primarily for JP Morgan’s Private Bank customers, a strong applicant needs about $30 million in net assets to qualify for palladium status. Benefits include Marquis Jet discounts (first class upgrades for holders that still fly commercial), personal concierge, and access to an international directory of the world’s finest co***ne dealers.
Did I mention that it’s a Visa? That’s right, no more getting denied for handing over the Amex Black at the local breakfast joint. But if Palladium members have any self-consciousness about carrying around a credit card made up of metals worth $1,000, JP Morgan will mail a plastic version in order to quell any millionaire anxieties about the card. In all seriousness, Amex better up the ante because baller status just got a new service provider. Any monkeys with a better Christmas present?
awesome. i love the international directory part you mention
Thats what you call a "wet" card.....get it...get it :)
I get it =p
Wow (palladium) over priced piece of shit. I'd rather have fucking gold bricks to throw at broads. Hit em' knock em out and den take em'
You go through an entire date and that at the end, you take out your pallwhatever card to pay- THAT's when she throws out whatever notions she's formed of you in the last hour and decides she wants to hump.
As long as its not something like a public teachers credit union card its good enough.
who wants to bet how long it will be before Jay-z raps about this in a hit single? 4-6 months would be my timeframe.
+1
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