Moving to NYC from SF for dating
I work at a fund in the Bay Area. I’m a single, 5 8’ Hispanic dude. Mid 20s. Obviously not Brad Pitt but I do alright.
I have heard lots of people trash the dating scene in SF. Which definitely makes sense to me, I’ve noticed I’m able to pull far less baddies then at my SEC college, there seems to be less attractive women here overall, and all the dudes here seem to be killing it professionally which drives up the competition. Only city in the world where I’ve regularly seen couples where the dude is better looking than the girl. I still have been getting dates, had a gf out here etc but does feel like playing on hard mode. I’m on the apps and ghosting seems to be super common here.
I’ve heard NYC is essentially the best place to date as a young single guy and that you can kill it even as an average dude, as long as you’ve got a decent job and aren’t awkward.
Is this true, or is it a grass is greener effect? Would love to hear how the dating scene is for a young buck working on the buyside / IB in NYC
Based on the most helpful WSO content, NYC does have a reputation for being a better dating scene for young single guys compared to SF, especially for those in finance. Here's what you need to know:
Dating Dynamics in NYC:
Comparison to SF:
Challenges in NYC:
Tips for Success:
In summary, NYC can indeed be a great place for dating as a young single guy in finance, but it’s not without its challenges. If you’re willing to embrace the city's fast-paced lifestyle and put yourself out there, you’ll likely find it a step up from SF in terms of dating opportunities.
Sources: NYC worth it?, NEW YORK is OVERRATED, Why You Should Leave NYC After Your Analyst Stint, I F***ING HATE NEW YORK, Let's Talk Saving
Bump as an incoming FT sf analyst in a month 😭
Dating in SF sucks, pretty sure any city is better than that.
That being said, lived in a few cities and just outside of NYC. NYC has been far the easiest for me when it came to dating. If you use dating apps consistently and not half-assing talking to girls you match with, getting at least 1-2 dates a month is very feasible as an 'average' guy.
Lived in both. Can confirm nyc is much better for dating in general. When you isolate for finance, even more so. Finance isn’t the cream of the crop in SF; women there are looking for tech guys.
One of my friends is literally moving to nyc from sf to find a wife. It’s not a bad idea if that’s your goal.
NYC is definitely better for dudes and SF is better for chicks. I’m an average looking girl and met my husband, who is an absolute Adonis of a man, and also charismatic and brilliant, a week after moving to SF.
In NYC, I dated a bunch of avg looking and not so charming trader/PE/hedge fund bros who all eventually dumped my ass for some hot nurse.
Op should move to NYC
When I saw the headline I thought "moving to NY for dating" was going to be that you have a gf in NY and are going to move for her specifically.
Moving just because of the dating scene is pretty extreme, but I too have noticed how much better NY is than SF.
Reason SF is bad is pretty straightforward, tech cities are sausage fests. Ask any single guy in Austin. And then SF has an additional talent drain issue which is all the CA girls who look good move to SoCal. So you end up with an over supply of dudes, who are also successful dudes, and an undersupply of dateable women.
Why NY is good is more complicated, but for whatever reason the guys there tend to be weak and kinda gay (not talking about literal gay guys, but the other ones . . "pee sitting down" energy) so a regular dude stands out better.
I'd still be cautious about that move. Good buyside jobs don't grow on trees and you've heard the saying 'behind every hot girl is a guy who's tired of fucking her'. The goal is to find only one good one which may not be so much a function of the dating market, more about your individual actions.
SF did have some industries that attracted more women when I first moved there in 2005. Cosmetics companies like Bare Essentials were HQ there, but got acquired and moved to places like NYC (Benefit Cosmetics are still there). Also, retail brands like Macy’s, Gap. I think are still there. Duty Free Stores (owned by LVMH) moved out to Hong Kong. These are the types of industries that got acquired and shipped out of SF, or streamlined.
I’ve had college friends who were girls who moved to SF to work at these companies and now they are gone.
We can blame Wall Street for that.
If you BYOG (bring your own girl), you’ll be in a good spot.
Tech hub and lower population than NYC (1 million vs 8+ million) are the main reasons. That said, you only need to find that one person and that could happen anywhere.
Go to the comet club on a Friday night it’s three girls for every guy.
good luck with the cross-country trifecta
Having lived in both, NYC blows SF out of the water as a guy
SF has a limited amount of good looking women, its more competitive, and the girls are more boring
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