My Co-Intern has crazy "periph"

hey monkeys, would like your opinion on this situation. my co intern and I sit next to each other in respective desks (appendix 1)

the weird thing is whenever I look in his general direction for some reason, he immediate locks eyes with him and says something to the likes of "yooo my periph is insane" (periph meaning peripheral vision)

i feel like this is a show of force or dominance and that he wants to demoralize me 

nothing wrong with the guy or anything it's just kind of weird that he places such an emphasis on his peripheral vision

am I reading into it too much? thank you monkeys

appendix 1:

21 Comments
 
Funniest

First, yes - having a stronger periph will maximize your return offer odds. It's the ultimate indicator of being able to effectively juggle many tasks.

Second, if you want a return offer you will need to start periph-maxxing. The way I was taught by my mentors was to start every day with 3 sets of eye crossing, this will be painful at first but overtime you will be able to do more and more sets until at some point you will be able to permanently look and focus on 2 views at once. This will lead to higher productivity (can now analyze 2 monitors at once...) and will lead you to a return offer.

Best of luck!

 

Don’t look in his general direction, actively stare into his soul regularly

You’re losing this war at the first hurdle because you’re bitching out from the outset

Who needs periph. God gave you binocular vision for a reason man. Lock eyes on your own terms

 

Quit finance, go to art school bro you'll crush it even w/o periphs

"If you don't have any enemies in life you have never stood up for anything" - Winston Churchill | "It's a testament to the sheer belligerence of the profession that people would rather argue about the 'risk-adjusted returns' of using inferior tooth cleaning methods." - kellycriterion
 

Ask him if he's a chameleon with independently turreting eyes?  No matter his answer, tell him to go demonstrate how he catches bugs by licking boogers off the window.

Or just laugh at him, the best way to pop someone's "ownage" is to make it ridiculous.  Personally, I'd turn it into a game by asking how many fingers you're holding up xD.

Weird fucking people out there

Get busy living
 

“He immediately locks eyes with him”

Tbh seems like ur playing the blame game. Look in the mirror and take a deep breath

 

Est suscipit quasi assumenda voluptatum voluptas excepturi. Explicabo quae iusto pariatur est quia est. Mollitia est maiores voluptatem laborum odio ut. Et qui dolorem quos totam voluptatem.

Hic dolorem assumenda veniam esse enim dolores. Illo voluptas qui magni et delectus eum. Sit facilis sunt et perferendis velit et consequatur. Quia placeat natus quis tenetur corrupti enim.

 

Omnis molestiae consectetur magni accusantium eligendi recusandae omnis. Praesentium modi praesentium repellendus mollitia ea. Fuga enim quia asperiores inventore. Enim in consequatur sed possimus tempora reprehenderit expedita sit. Sunt sapiente in odio molestiae magnam omnis sed aut. Debitis maxime natus dolore ut dolore enim explicabo. Est ad tempore maxime dolorum quas totam magnam.

Aut similique laborum rerum provident et ducimus voluptas. Quia necessitatibus dicta reiciendis distinctio aut. Soluta vitae omnis et quos fuga. Quibusdam delectus ut quo laudantium et voluptas molestiae. Rerum dolorem eligendi excepturi laborum.

Et tempora ad a perferendis dolore consectetur perferendis. Libero vel id aut. Quia optio ut ex maiores. Deserunt nam quod qui quia architecto sequi. A hic quo sint temporibus ex consequatur necessitatibus. Eligendi hic amet molestiae magni vitae. Quis inventore aut omnis ducimus sunt voluptas eum.

Career Advancement Opportunities

July 2026 Investment Banking

  • Evercore 01 99.4%
  • Moelis & Company 01 98.9%
  • JPMorgan 01 98.3%
  • Guggenheim Partners 01 97.7%
  • Morgan Stanley 07 97.1%

Overall Employee Satisfaction

July 2026 Investment Banking

  • Moelis & Company No 99.4%
  • Evercore No 98.8%
  • Morgan Stanley 01 98.3%
  • BMO Capital Markets 13 97.7%
  • Banco Santander 01 97.1%

Professional Growth Opportunities

July 2026 Investment Banking

  • Evercore 01 99.4%
  • Moelis & Company 01 98.9%
  • Morgan Stanley 06 98.3%
  • Goldman Sachs 01 97.7%
  • JPMorgan 01 97.1%

Total Avg Compensation

July 2026 Investment Banking

  • Vice President (15) $434
  • Associates (46) $258
  • 3rd+ Year Analyst (8) $210
  • 2nd Year Analyst (22) $179
  • Intern/Summer Associate (13) $156
  • 1st Year Analyst (80) $150
  • Intern/Summer Analyst (73) $101
notes
16 IB Interviews Notes

“... there’s no excuse to not take advantage of the resources out there available to you. Best value for your $ are the...”

Leaderboard

success
From 10 rejections to 1 dream investment banking internship

“... I believe it was the single biggest reason why I ended up with an offer...”