My Co-Intern has crazy "periph"

hey monkeys, would like your opinion on this situation. my co intern and I sit next to each other in respective desks (appendix 1)

the weird thing is whenever I look in his general direction for some reason, he immediate locks eyes with him and says something to the likes of "yooo my periph is insane" (periph meaning peripheral vision)

i feel like this is a show of force or dominance and that he wants to demoralize me 

nothing wrong with the guy or anything it's just kind of weird that he places such an emphasis on his peripheral vision

am I reading into it too much? thank you monkeys

appendix 1:

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First, yes - having a stronger periph will maximize your return offer odds. It's the ultimate indicator of being able to effectively juggle many tasks.

Second, if you want a return offer you will need to start periph-maxxing. The way I was taught by my mentors was to start every day with 3 sets of eye crossing, this will be painful at first but overtime you will be able to do more and more sets until at some point you will be able to permanently look and focus on 2 views at once. This will lead to higher productivity (can now analyze 2 monitors at once...) and will lead you to a return offer.

Best of luck!

 

Don’t look in his general direction, actively stare into his soul regularly

You’re losing this war at the first hurdle because you’re bitching out from the outset

Who needs periph. God gave you binocular vision for a reason man. Lock eyes on your own terms

 

Quit finance, go to art school bro you'll crush it even w/o periphs

"If you don't have any enemies in life you have never stood up for anything" - Winston Churchill | "It's a testament to the sheer belligerence of the profession that people would rather argue about the 'risk-adjusted returns' of using inferior tooth cleaning methods." - kellycriterion
 

Ask him if he's a chameleon with independently turreting eyes?  No matter his answer, tell him to go demonstrate how he catches bugs by licking boogers off the window.

Or just laugh at him, the best way to pop someone's "ownage" is to make it ridiculous.  Personally, I'd turn it into a game by asking how many fingers you're holding up xD.

Weird fucking people out there

Get busy living
 

“He immediately locks eyes with him”

Tbh seems like ur playing the blame game. Look in the mirror and take a deep breath

 

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