Stay with College GF?
Trying to decide if I should stay with my GF from college. Just started in IB, In NYC. Her family also lives in the city, so it’s easy for us to see each other right now. We’ve been dating for about 6 months, and she’s made my life significantly happier. I can see us being together long-term, and she feels the same. She still has 2 years of school left. I would be able to see her every 2-3 months and most of the summer. This is my first serious relationship, and I don’t know how to handle this. Have other people been able to make long-distance work, while in IB? Am I playing myself, is this just a way to be easily cheated on?
Jody's taking care of your girl right now brother don't you worry
Favorite Shameless character
Do you trust her and really see this working out? You could get married, could get cheated on. It’s a leap of faith.
If you actually are comfortable with the idea of being with her long term, in my opinion that is extremely rare and an indication it’s worth taking the jump in the cold pool and giving it an honest try.
worst comes to worst you have a gf while you’re grinding out the brutal analyst years. That itself is huge and worth it, and life is long if it doesn’t last.
A couple of others have said it but I agree - if you trust her, you need to try. (And by the way, if you don't trust her, then it begs the question why you're still with her now).
I made long distance work for a couple of years (as a senior analyst / junior associate, and across a much greater distance where we could meet maybe a couple of times per year). No question it was hard, but we're now married, so I guess it worked out. I'm a small sample size, and there were times when it felt we might break up, but we pulled through.
Finally and most importantly, it sounds from your post that you do cherish her, can see a future, and have a good relationship. That's rare, and don't let it go for the wrong reasons.
if you need to ask you already know the answer brotha
I was in the exact same situation, different city. Worked out and we’re married! It was really hard, but worth it. I trusted her implicitly, and knew that if our relationship didn’t work out she would be grown up to break it off with me first.
The key word is trust, is it your own insecurities on why you think she’ll cheat or is it her character? If the former, just grow the fuck up, the latter then maybe move on.
It all becomes a question of how aligned you are. Have you had many of the bigger conversations (values, kids / no kids, what you want out of a relationship). Other potential big conversations may include religion, politics, if those even matter to you, for some couples they are non-factors. In my limited experience, values and long-term goals are the two most critical factors.
If you think she is one of the good ones and you really trust her, give it a shot. Do not ever, ever, underestimate the value of the right life partner. It is much harder as you're young, but obviously something about her is special enough where you're considering long distance. I did long-distance when I was about 21 and while it didnt work out, I was glad I tried, as my SO at the time was an anomaly. I think highly of her to this day, which is how I know I made the right choice.
In summation, you haven't provided us with enough detail to make any real sort of decision, but you likely have a good feeling in your gut if it makes sense or not to try. Trust your gut.
How is it that you can only see her once every 2-3 months?
Unless she's going to school in Asia, I just can't fathom why you can't see her every week or every other week if she's important to you. Easy enough to take a flight to SF or wherever Friday night and fly back Sunday if she's important to you.
Between that comment and the post on a finance forum asking if she'll cheat on you, I worry about you...
Depends entirely on the girl and nothing else.
Fact that you‘re not sure she wouldnt cheat is a bad sign.
Hello Romeo of the Finance world! Long-distance relationships can be like juggling finance models and coffee cups – challenging but doable! To be honest, some people failed because of trust. Trust and communication are the key. Just remember, you're no spreadsheet – love isn't just about numbers! Hold your faith!
You might find below thread useful (although different stage of relationship).
https://www.wallstreetoasis.com/forum/investment-banking/falling-for-a-girl-before-starting#comment-3122723
In summary, if she's the right person and is open to genuinely trying a relationship where you don't see each other as much, then you may find this relationship is what helps you get through IB and is a source of strength.
If you try and it doesn't work out, then it indicates if your relationship faced similar hardship it wouldn't have been sustainable regardless, and this would be a good point of learning.
My assessment of the upside/downside here indicates you should have an honest conversation around what your relationship would look like, and if your SO is willing to try, then you commit to making it work. If, after some time, you are both unhappy, then you can assess your options (at this point in time you may have a view of exit ops already for instance).
Good luck
Nice username
Nah man it’s not worth it. You’ve only been together 6 months. You are going to piss her off if you work as much as you need to. Hate to say it but in IB if your GF is happy you are probably slacking.
I don’t see how it wouldn’t be worth it. If she makes you this happy and is understanding of the IB lifestyle and limited availability, and you trust her, why not?
What’s the worst that can happen? It doesn’t workout or you get cheated on? I doubt she’d do that to you so the pros significantly outweigh the cons.
Plus with a long term relationship you will be able to stack up more $$$ to save up for the future you want with your special woman.
Best of luck
Cheers
I did long distance through my two analysts years (Richmond to Boston). I think it made the experience a lot better, although having an understanding partner makes a big difference. I'd argue it was a lot harder on her than me as she was the one who always flew in to basically hang out in the office with me through the weekend. It also probably helped me perform better at work.
My vote would be to give it a try and if it doesn't work out, that's alright as well. You can always revisit the relationship after banking if she is still single. Sometimes it is the right person but just the wrong timing.
Does she have money? If yes then yes
Well you can:
Stay with her and enjoy having support from someone during and at the end of an 18 hour day, plus be with someone who is cool with you working said 18 hours days…
OR
You can be alone and require yourself to spend your hard earned money going on dates with girls in a much larger city and possibly regret ending an otherwise healthy relationship.
Unless if she’s in a sorority you might wanna focus on yourself. The board of directors (her friend group) will 100% change her mind about you in that case
Long distance does not work lad, unless both of you are batshit crazy for each other (was absolutely not the case for me lol). All seriousness, take it day-by-day, trust her, don't look too far into the future, prioritize yourself and what happens happens. Best of luck sir.
do you guys have a plan, or not?
If you're serious, then agree on a plan - either she comes to NYC to work (which may require you supporting her financially if she doesn't also plan to be in finance), or you quit and go somewhere else after X years.
If you're not serious just break up now dude
Aut ut doloremque et suscipit temporibus. Impedit eum rerum corporis quia corporis doloremque. Recusandae est mollitia quasi eos voluptatem impedit. Voluptas deserunt qui nam suscipit rerum.
Ea recusandae culpa sapiente eum excepturi quo. Magni repudiandae molestiae dolore repellendus.
Est sit corrupti quisquam suscipit. Et quos et et reiciendis laborum tempora non. Aut voluptatem reprehenderit ea placeat laboriosam.
Sit ipsum possimus nam. Vero nostrum doloremque ducimus recusandae adipisci. Voluptas culpa hic sequi placeat dignissimos et.
See All Comments - 100% Free
WSO depends on everyone being able to pitch in when they know something. Unlock with your email and get bonus: 6 financial modeling lessons free ($199 value)
or Unlock with your social account...
Ut numquam debitis in ullam unde nostrum amet. Saepe temporibus fuga ea suscipit sed at.
Amet tempora voluptas eos repellendus omnis accusantium. Porro maxime veritatis alias quos. Ut accusantium optio porro est soluta mollitia quasi. Excepturi non magni et placeat est. Reprehenderit ipsum vel aut qui deserunt quis eos.
Nihil quaerat est culpa qui voluptatem nihil provident. Consequatur soluta placeat eos et temporibus. Necessitatibus impedit aspernatur error voluptatibus unde et nemo. Est quibusdam architecto numquam eius. Et doloribus omnis autem. Assumenda quisquam est at provident alias aperiam.
Rem necessitatibus quidem nam repellat ab ipsam ducimus. Nisi autem doloremque nihil et. Dolorum natus sed ex iure quaerat sapiente. Id asperiores saepe neque praesentium voluptatem repudiandae. Beatae sit perspiciatis eum odio unde et. Ut et quia culpa fugit ab eveniet nihil.