Give up on a girl before starting full time?
So I get started at a Tech M&A group in July. I've known this girl for years, and we've always gotten along, but never pursued anything. I met her at a cocktail party like 6 months ago and we really hit it off, and just recently like a week ago at another event. She asked for my number and we've been texting, and we're grabbing coffee in a couple of days. She's in junior year of college and I just graduated going into IB, but we'll both be in the city. I know the college dynamic is a little off but she is nearly as mature as I am. Should I give up on this and just focus on the job? I haven't felt like this in a few years, and I'm more confident in my self then I have ever been (fitness and personal stuff has been going really well). I met her parents at the event too and we've known them a while, and they also really like me (it's reciprocated, though ofc it's too early for this type of thing to matter anyways).
You should try to hold on to her because girls in the bay area are mid af (I am assuming you'll be in the bay area since it is tech M&A), and you don't want to pass those weak genetics to your offsprings. Getting a better girl will take too much effort in a much more competitive area for guys
You hit the nail on the head guessing the Bay. Impressive.
I can confirm this as someone who lives in the bay. The girls here.. NO BUENO!
I almost vomited when I opened tinder in the bay
Thinking about leaving a girl you really like for IB… you will be an absolute fucking beast in this industry bro 🤣
so many people out there...
Don't give up on your girl to start IB FT, give up on IB to start on your girl FT
and wait for the bonus to hit in 9 months
Promotion not bonus
Just ride it out. If it doesn't work, so be it.
Echo above. This is like worrying about starting FT on the first day of your internship - no need to quit already.
It's not that deep yet, if it grows to that level then you can decide. Relationships develop over time and are guided by what each of you put in and what your needs are, you won't know whether dating while in IB will work until you both openly discuss your priorities, needs, and the compatibility of these.
Also, by the time you're starting to get serious, either of your circumstances might change; maybe she studies abroad, maybe you get laid off after 3 months due to a bank merger, maybe you land a buyside role. If you are honest with one another as the relationship develops (and obviously this doesn't have to be discussed on the first date), you can assess the compatibility of your relationship moving forward.
Worst case is down the line she says choose me or banking and you can make a decision then. Maybe you've made your choice if that arises but at least you get to learn a lot about dating and relationships in the interim. If you cut this off now, consider whether you'll regret what could have been for the sake of what you might perceive as a distraction, but could also be a source of support and strength during the IB analyst experience.
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Happy for you, good luck and feel free to PM if you ever want a sounding board.
Why sabotage the future?
(a) If you give up on her, it's done 100%
(b) I you don't give up on her, the consequences are: (1) She stays or (2) She leaves. 50-50 chance on both.
So why would you take a 100% chance of losing her when it can be left untouched and minimized to 50%?
plz hit the books to refresh some of your risk mgt. classes
Yea, I'll give it a fair try. It went really well, we're going again soon.
Go for the girl. Communicate that you won’t have much time.
FWB my guy. At least get the sex from her.
You can do both man. Also doesn't seem very deep yet. You are overthinking.
Just be honest with her and tell her that you'll have much less time going forward cuz of your job and see how she feels about it.
Personally I’ve got myself a full rotation - it’s the NYC way
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Do both. Might as well try, nothing to lose.
del
Any key takeaways from how y'all made it work? At the start of a similar situation right now.
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