Give up on a girl before starting full time?

So I get started at a Tech M&A group in July. I've known this girl for years, and we've always gotten along, but never pursued anything. I met her at a cocktail party like 6 months ago and we really hit it off, and just recently like a week ago at another event. She asked for my number and we've been texting, and we're grabbing coffee in a couple of days. She's in junior year of college and I just graduated going into IB, but we'll both be in the city. I know the college dynamic is a little off but she is nearly as mature as I am. Should I give up on this and just focus on the job? I haven't felt like this in a few years, and I'm more confident in my self then I have ever been (fitness and personal stuff has been going really well). I met her parents at the event too and we've known them a while, and they also really like me (it's reciprocated, though ofc it's too early for this type of thing to matter anyways). 

Comments (21)

Most Helpful
  • Intern in PE - LBOs

You should try to hold on to her because girls in the bay area are mid af (I am assuming you'll be in the bay area since it is tech M&A), and you don't want to pass those weak genetics to your offsprings. Getting a better girl will take too much effort in a much more competitive area for guys 

  • 8
yourgranny101, what's your opinion? Comment below:

I almost vomited when I opened tinder in the bay 

Prxnce10, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Thinking about leaving a girl you really like for IB… you will be an absolute fucking beast in this industry bro 🤣

  • 33
anonasdasczx, what's your opinion? Comment below:

so many people out there...

trying_my_best, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Don't give up on your girl to start IB FT, give up on IB to start on your girl FT

  • 4
Restless, what's your opinion? Comment below:

and wait for the bonus to hit in 9 months

  • 5
Reservation at Dorsias, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Echo above. This is like worrying about starting FT on the first day of your internship - no need to quit already.

It's not that deep yet, if it grows to that level then you can decide. Relationships develop over time and are guided by what each of you put in and what your needs are, you won't know whether dating while in IB will work until you both openly discuss your priorities, needs, and the compatibility of these.

Also, by the time you're starting to get serious, either of your circumstances might change; maybe she studies abroad, maybe you get laid off after 3 months due to a bank merger, maybe you land a buyside role. If you are honest with one another as the relationship develops (and obviously this doesn't have to be discussed on the first date), you can assess the compatibility of your relationship moving forward.

Worst case is down the line she says choose me or banking and you can make a decision then. Maybe you've made your choice if that arises but at least you get to learn a lot about dating and relationships in the interim. If you cut this off now, consider whether you'll regret what could have been for the sake of what you might perceive as a distraction, but could also be a source of support and strength during the IB analyst experience.

Restless, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Why sabotage the future?

(a) If you give up on her, it's done 100%

(b) I you don't give up on her, the consequences are: (1) She stays or (2) She leaves. 50-50 chance on both.

So why would you take a 100% chance of losing her when it can be left untouched and minimized to 50%?

plz hit the books to refresh some of your risk mgt. classes

  • 1
justtrynamakeitwork, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Yea, I'll give it a fair try. It went really well, we're going again soon. 

Isaiah_53_5 💎🙌💎🙌💎, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Go for the girl. Communicate that you won't have much time.

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee

  • 2
Pizz, what's your opinion? Comment below:

FWB my guy. At least get the sex from her. 

  • 1
ConfusedGuru, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Debitis accusamus omnis et aliquam molestias est rem. Beatae ratione magnam est quis eum non. Odit voluptas perspiciatis dolore nam modi. Nam eaque occaecati vel sed quia voluptatem. Cum et dignissimos qui voluptates odio tenetur repudiandae.

Aliquid adipisci sint et dignissimos. Voluptatum eius fugiat molestias dicta.

justtrynamakeitwork, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Quibusdam architecto suscipit natus tenetur odit nulla. Ut voluptates quia doloribus at non consectetur. Vel enim neque aut dolor eos ea. Natus repellat aut corrupti inventore quae.

Aut id deserunt repellat est esse vero sequi. Dicta quidem sunt enim ut.

Magni nemo et accusamus quis non excepturi. Nam voluptates unde qui non aperiam. Aut aut voluptatem et soluta fugit odio. Illo esse provident non quidem voluptatem eos.

Start Discussion

Career Advancement Opportunities

May 2023 Investment Banking

  • Lincoln International (▲01) 99.6%
  • Jefferies & Company (▽01) 99.1%
  • William Blair (▲12) 98.7%
  • Financial Technology Partners (▽01) 98.2%
  • Lazard Freres (+ +) 97.8%

Overall Employee Satisfaction

May 2023 Investment Banking

  • William Blair (▲04) 99.5%
  • Lincoln International (▲11) 99.1%
  • Canaccord Genuity (▲18) 98.6%
  • Stephens Inc (▲12) 98.2%
  • Financial Technology Partners (▲09) 97.7%

Professional Growth Opportunities

May 2023 Investment Banking

  • Lincoln International (▲01) 99.5%
  • Financial Technology Partners (▲06) 99.1%
  • Jefferies & Company (▽02) 98.6%
  • Lazard Freres (▲15) 98.2%
  • UBS AG (▲19) 97.7%

Total Avg Compensation

May 2023 Investment Banking

  • Director/MD (6) $592
  • Vice President (32) $396
  • Associates (148) $260
  • 3rd+ Year Analyst (11) $198
  • 1st Year Analyst (279) $170
  • 2nd Year Analyst (90) $170
  • Intern/Summer Associate (46) $166
  • Intern/Summer Analyst (205) $92