What Bank Will Make Women Instantly Fall In Love With Me?

What investment bank/firm will instantly make the girls fall to their knees and beg for me to wife them? I didn't really develop good social skills with women in high school since I was too busy grinding Pearl & Rosenbaum / Moyers Distressed Debt Analysis. I was so busy in college acting as PM for my SMIF and MD in my M&A club that I couldn't really keep good shape (5'4, 240lbs, McDonalds hairline so I've been wearing a fedora until I can find time to go to turkey). I used to struggle fitting in showers and shaving to my routine being managing director and all, but honestly after buying my first Dior Sauvage, I just puff like 10 sprays a day and haven't needed to shower since last year. Every time I put on my Patagonia hit the on-campus bar with my SMIF leaderboard friends Samir and Kevin Nguyen we walk home alone in disbelief of how girls these days are so dumb. Everyone knows PJT RSSG > GS TMT but GS Classics > PJT rest why tf do they think I'm a godamn financial advisor. I'm hoping this potential bank and stacked resume would be able to make up the difference in my minor shortcomings because I'm super picky on looks. I like them 5'1-5'5 slimthick asian 8/10 minimum 0 bodies, good leg-to-torso ratio and feminine hands from a rich family. I want her to only see me but be chill with me seeing other girls too cuz once I in that get that bank I expect the women to be flooding my dms. Any thoughts?

16 Comments
 

“I didn't really develop good social skills with women in high school since I was too busy grinding” sums up banking today vs. banking in the 00’s pretty perfectly. 

...but is it REPE?
 

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