EB is Paradise

Noticed a funny trend lately on WSO and thought i'd share it. I wish this was fully satire but unfortunately i've seen literally 5-6 different users with post histories that identically match this timeline.

1. A new WSO account is born, a second semester freshman/first semester sophomore has discovered WSO and is learning all about the entire world of finance on this forum. Recruitment timelines, what "EB" means, what "BB" means and, most importantly, EXIT OPS. An exciting period in one's life as you mentally push out Chad in Sig Chi banging your dorm crush that you never had a chance with. Now you can focus on what matters and that is your future in finance and investment banking, not Brad in Sig Chi or Amanda in Alpha Phi.

2. After a few months on this forum (and 7-9 months before recruitment happens), you now have questions that can't be answered by the 60 threads made about this exact topic in the last month. You have a question that needs its own topic and that question is "EB or BB?" Crazy that none of the 60 previous threads have answered your question but it is what it is, important questions need answers. Deep down you already know the answer but you just want confirmation. The answer is "any EB over any BB (including GS/MS)" but still you post 5 different threads asking "GS or Lazard" or "BB or EB" or even "Guggenheim or MS" or some variation of this. And, thankfully, 10 different posters all named "Prospect - IB" has told you to pick any EB over any BB and that includes Guggenheim over MS or even Greenhill over JPM (still in shock and laughing about this one). You notice that all the one's saying GS over Lazard are MS'd to hell so you know that this must be true, the SB to MS ratio proves it

3. You've heard a lot about PWP lately and after seeing 10 different freshman on WSO hype it up you decide that it is a top EB alongside Evercore and CVP (although CVP exits can't compare to top tier exits that PWP offers). You notice that PJT doesn't really hire from your school so you also have decided that PJT M&A is overrated (and you will make damn sure that every EB ranking thread knows it). You are now in a position to answer other freshman and sophomore questions about BB or EB? And the answer to the question is EVR/PWP, no matter what. Even on the postings asking about "London" but you didn't read that part of the title, you only saw BB or EB and you know the answer.

4. Recruitment begins, this is exciting because EBs recruit before BBs so you won't have to risk turning down GS TMT or MS M&A to get the esteemed EVR/PWP/GHL offer and potentially not getting anything. One day you check your phone and your heart skips a beat. It's the recruiter at PWP emailing you for your first round interview with Dartmouth Partners. Pfft the name Dartmouth sends you memories of your college rejections, those target school douchebags. You didn't need to get into Dartmouth to end up in the same position and that position, my friends, is "incoming first round candidate at Perella Weinberg Partners."

5. You get on the phone with this third party recruiter for your interview and... well you sorta bomb it. Yeah not so pretty but you realize its your first interview and you can improve. You tell yourself that it was because it was a third party interviewer and what does an outsourced HR company know anyway? They missed out on you and you're gonna end up at a better bank than PWP... not that there are any? Fuck. You call up your entire phone contact list (which consists of your semi-target business school peers) and ask them to mock interview you for 3 weeks straight. You're now ready but are worried since you haven't heard about any upcoming interviews. You check your phone and your heart skips 3 beats. Its Lazard hitting you up for your first round interview for their generalist M&A program. This is your chance! You schedule the interview and you know you'll nail it.

6. The first round comes by and you nail it. Wow you consider updating your LinkedIn to "incoming superday candidate at Lazard" but decide not yet, you'll update it when you sign your offer. The superday comes by and.... you nail it. As you walk out of the interview you can't help but think that sure its not EVR or PWP but its still an EB and that's better than any GS/MS offer you could ever get. Your fellow prospects on WSO confirmed this with how they all MS'd any post recommending you take GS/MS over Guggenheim or GHL or PWP. 

7. You get the call back and you're ecstatic. Holy shit you don't need to work at a MM bank like Guggenheim (even though 2 months ago you posted that you'd even take Guggenheim over GS/MS). Tears running down your eyes, Brad from Sig chi is gonna be calling you for your help soon. Amanda will be begging for you to take Brad's sloppy seconds but you ignore it all. Now that you're gonna be an "incoming summer analyst at Lazard" you can do better than Alpha Phi. Your new love is Tina in Tri Delt. Sure she only dates football players but you're an incoming Lazard summer analyst and that's better than GS/MS/NFL.

8. You make one more WSO post to confirm that Lazard is the right place to be. You call the thread "MS or Lazard" stating you have offers from both and that you need to decide asap (you've already signed Lazard on the spot). 10 different posters, ranging from analyst 1s to associate 3s all recommend you take MS but you can't help but notice each of these posters have -2 or -3 MS (no pun intended). You close out and wait. You get the notification on your phone that "Prospect - IB" has posted on your thread and you immediately open it. "Prospect - IB" has said "EB > BB" and you know that this is the answer. EB > BB. Not only is the poster much more qualified to answer than actual people working in the industry, they have +10 SB's all from other prospects who have ganged together to MS (again no pun intended) all the people recommending you take Morgan Stanley over Lazard. You click on the SB icon below "prospect - IB"'s name and give them a +1. You go down the list giving a -1 to all those that recommend Morgan Stanley. You smile. EB > BB.

9. A few months ago by. You sit down at your computer. You update your WSO account to say "intern at IB - Gen" and you smile. You see a post about EB or BB (Lazard or MS) and you know its your time to shine. You write 5 paragraphs about why Lazard > MS and that includes "more responsibility" (I hope you interns realize that means more work lmfao), better pay (arguably the only decent reason), and better exit ops (not true but it doesn't matter because EB > BB).

10. You see a post asking about TMT rankings and you know what the right rank is, even though you know nothing about tech or the west coast or the MT space. In top tier you put Qatalyst, LionTree and Lazard. In tier 2 you place Evercore, GS TMT and MS Menlo / MS M&C, in that order. Nevermind that GS TMT and MS Menlo + MS M&C quite literally dominate the TMT space with something insane like 60-70% of the market share and that 3rd place doesn't even remotely come close (will give props to Qatalyst for competing in this space with how small they are) because, after all, EB > BB so LionTree and Lazard and even Evercore TMT > GS TMT and MS TMT (im still laughing at that thread holy).

11. You decide there aren't enough ranking posts so you decide to make one encompassing all of EB/BB. You decide the proper ranking is EVR = Lazard > CVP > PJT > Moelis >>>>> PWP >=Greenhill >>>> Guggenheim > GS/MS > the rest of the BBs that aren't even worth naming. Why is Lazard all of a sudden at the top? Because of their long tenure in finance since the 1800s, the laymen will recognize its long-prestige and that prestige matches up with GS/MS. Don't forget more work responsibility (lmfao) and thus better learning experience. You see a post about "Evercore vs Citi in London, what to take?" You skip over the London part and say "Evercore, is this even a real question"? 

12. You smile and lean back in your chair. Life is good. EB > BB. You look up Tina from Tri Delt on Insta who is a comms major at your semi-target and you smile to yourself. She'll definitely be impressed by your EB that you "totally picked over GS/MS offers." 

13. Next year rolls around, you're 2 months from starting your internship at Lazard and you check WSO. You see a post asking about EB vs BB and you bolt into action. You know what to say. EB > BB. Lazard is Paradise.