Tips on Networking Email Format?

In the process of networking for IB SA positions, and have been feeling like my response rate is relatively lower then what is should be (~5%). Any tips or insight on how to improve this? I've been attaching my resume FYI. This is the email I've been using: 

Dear _____,

I hope this note finds you well. My name is _____ and I am a ____ pursuing Finance at _____ interested in (Position/Group) at (Firm) and your background.

I was wondering whether you would be available for a ~10-15 minute phone call in the coming weeks to speak about your experience at the firm. I understand you must be busy, but if you're willing, I'd be more than happy to find a time that works best for your schedule.

In case it's helpful to provide more context on my background, I have attached my resume below for your reference. I look forward to hearing back from you soon.

Best,

8 Comments
 

Nothing wrong with your template tbh, mine was fairly similar when I went through the networking process (albeit a bit more concise). Folks tend to be fairly busy during summertime plus now may be a bit too early for some banks, generally think around later August / early September u will start seeing more responses

 

What did you not include that I have in mine to make yours more concise? And yeah, makes sense that sometimes people only start responding to emails after a certain point in time during the summer.

 

CLN

What did you not include that I have in mine to make yours more concise? And yeah, makes sense that sometimes people only start responding to emails after a certain point in time during the summer.

hi _____,

I hope all is well. My name is _____ and I am a rising sophomore at ____. [Maybe throw in what I have in common with them here]

Your path to Firm caught my eye and I would love to hear more about your experience and any advice you can offer. 

Please see my resume attached if you wish to learn more about me.


Thanks for your time and I hope you have a great rest of your day.

Best,

 
Most Helpful

Personally big believer in giving them times. I'm not giving you my schedule, you give me yours and I'll tell  you if something works. For example:

I understand you are busy, and have attached my schedule in (Person's Timezone) time. Please let me know if any of these times work, I am more than happy to accommodate your schedule: 

Wednesday (8/5): 7 PM - 10 PM

Thursday (8/6): 10 AM - 12 PM, 2 PM - 5PM

and etc.

Basically put it right after your second paragraph where you end with schedule - then just give times. Greatest hack ever to get responses. 

 

Thanks for the help, I'll try it out! I've heard this advice before, but was originally wary of whether or not to include it because I was told it might come off like I'm telling them that they're on my schedule. 

 

Thanks for the help, I'll try it out! I've heard this advice before, but was originally wary of whether or not to include it because I was told it might come off like I'm telling them that they're on my schedule. 

 

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