Tips to Improve Sociability?
Talking to bankers is WAYYY harder than talking to girls… every coffee chat I have feels awkward + me struggling to find any interesting input to keep the conversation rolling. Genuinely feel like I’m robotically reading down a list of questions. Am I socially inept? Am I retarded? Should I quit pursuing banking, and curl up in a fetal position until I graduate? Please let me know
It’s totally normal for a coffee chat to feel awkward.
Have a few questions ready but don’t feel that you have to ask them all and don’t be so focused on asking the next question that you don’t listen to the response to the current question. If you ever feel totally stuck you can just fall back on one of the questions you’ve thought of, and knowing this may help to ease some of your anxiety.
Do some research into the individual/their role/their firm just to show you’ve put in effort but not to such an extent that you come across as a weird person. Try to make your questions thoughtful and relevant to their background.
They’re doing you a favour by agreeing to the coffee chat so you should show gratitude for their time by taking it seriously and following basic etiquette, but you should avoid deifying them. Most of them have been in same position as you and know what it is like.
Even in the case that you come across as robotic, there’s really no negative consequences for you compared with if you didn’t show up for the coffee chat. Just keep doing them and you’ll get more comfortable.
bump
You're not at all socially broken. Your emotions are typical. You put too much pressure on yourself to sound impressive, which makes coffee conversations uncomfortable. It becomes an interview rather than a conversation when you concentrate on asking the "right" questions. Anyone would feel stiff from that.
Try to take your time and simply listen. Ask a straightforward follow-up when they make an intriguing statement. If they discuss a bargain, find out what made it stressful. If they talk about working long hours, find out how they handle it. Keep it organic. Bankers are also ordinary folks. Not very long ago, they were in your place. They do not anticipate perfection. All they want to know is whether they would like to work with you at two in the morning.It gets easier with practice.
Hi ojapar20, I was an extremely autsitic highschooler and was determined to talk to/get with girls to be seen as cool. Nowadays banging loads of girls isn't as cool as getting a sexy job at JPM
i disagree
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