Apr 04, 2026

UPDATED UNBIASED Bank-Mogging Tier List 2026 (UNBIASED)

ASU Frat Leader: Union Square Advisors (olympic gold medalist, frame-mogging Tidal Partners)

Clavicular: GS / MS / JPM (positive canthal tilt to spot Stacies at Spaniard, hollow cheeks from prescription amphetamines, some micronutrient deficiencies due to slop bowl diet)

Normies: Other BB / EB (carpal tunnel from XLS mouse usage, salvageable with 3-inch insoles and shoulder pads, recommend stacking CJC-1295, GHK-cu, and Retatrutide)

Subhuman: Piper Sandler / WB / Baird / other MMs (recommend limb lengthening surgery and/or giving up)

It’s so over: Ducera / JEFF / Qatalyst / BMO M&M / Dyal (recessed maxilla due to chronic mouth breathing, not enough minoxidil and Melanotan II on earth to reverse the effects of ~100hr weeks under fluorescent lighting).

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It never began: UBS

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