Vice Chairman’s Daughter Fixing Diversity in The SA Class of ‘22

We are all aware of the huge injustice that has plagued the business world in recent years - lack of diversity. A problem so widespread and severe that our fearless, highly diverse, white, male boomer leader at a top BB spared no effort to fix this cancer of the modern American society. In fact, he went as far as sacrificing his own youngling by selflessly offering her one of the multiple, low double-digit, Summer Analyst spots in the top coverage group he used to oversee. Since fighting centuries of racial injustice is not an easy task even for a fearless daddy’s princess, she reached out to her friends. The benevolent heiress brought on her T10 bestie, and the two selflessly invest their time, grinding away until late afternoons, sometimes as late as 6 PM, to fight for a brighter future. So worry not, my non-diversity kings, these two diverse, blonde queens are making material steps to ensure a future full of equality and inclusion, not just for you, but for all personkind.

20 Comments
 

Well, not quite. Of course there is nepotism and of course Vice Chairman’s daughter is not gonna spend her summer working at a Target checkout, but most companies have a strict no relatives policy. Having a client’s kid on your team is one thing, but this is totally ridiculous.

 

I don't know what company you're at, but I have been at multiple BBs and the relative just needs to be disclosed and then it's fine to hire them. As much as anti-nepotism stuff exists and the person needs to pass interviews/be qualified, the kid probably has a decent GPA at a good school and interviewers obviously aren't going to turn down their group head's kid. This is just the way life works, things are not fair.

 
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God when I worked a particular fund we had all this diversity and inclusion crap because a corporation is going to post a flag or the phrase of the week on social media to show that they care. ESG training made me feel more uncomfortable and was just flat out a waste of time. The women who did the training asked me "How does it make you feel about XYZ events?" Yes because you some random woman who went to Deerfield really knows what its like to go to the real hoods of the world and have seen true poverty? I looked at her with a death stare and told her flat out I do not give a crap about any of that garbage and I am there because I am being forced. I could careless about diversity and inclusion it comes off as cheeky and fake especially coming from a business. If you want to make a difference go to the hood and volunteer at an inner city school not post some BS on linkedin like "We stand with (insert flavor of the week)!" or my favorite "We will pay for any employee (insert some new policy that will only affect 1 person in a F500 corporation that they will not even use) to receive XYZ treatment! You can count on us!" Its virtue signaling to soy boys and the woke populace to not come after "us" we are the good guys its gotten to the point that it is pathetic. Its even more sad that morons fall for this crap it is idiotic. Yes I am going to only get my coffee from Starbucks because they posted a flag of this months woke topic. (insert smug laugh) 

I used to get into this argument with my ex gf because she always claimed she was a victim & oppressed as a woman (white girl from the suburbs upper middle class from Greenwich). She went to college majored in theater & communications ($75k in student loans went to an ultra expensive school when her parents would have paid for her to go to UConn for free) worked kind of as an actress (she was not that good) and would wait tables (nothing wrong with that but do not cry about it you made your choice now live with it. It is called a starving artist for a reason. Its called the hustle for a reason.) She whined about her situation when she realized being a fulltime actress on Broadway was not going to happen. She applied for jobs and nobody would give her a chance for "BS" reasons (insert every soy boy/girl reason). I explained to her she spent 6 years post college trying to make it in lala land now reality has hit and she has zero experience in jack & shit & jack left town a while ago. I would tell her its her fault for taking out that amount of student loans and she needs to restructure her plan to get caught up with her peers. I explained to her why should an employer give her the time of day when there is someone who has spent 7 years busting their ass in a relevant field. I encouraged her to move back home with her parents save money pay down her student loans a little more and maybe get a masters or MBA to make herself more marketable. I told her she made a bad choice now she is living with the consequences and to man up because life is a kick in the balls and the kicks only get harder. I dumped her right before I moved because that woman lived in lala land and her parents did a jacked up job of raising an entitled brat. They paid for her apartment and living expenses while she pursued her dream. I did not grow up rich by an stretch and had to bust my ass and hustle so this woman lived in 

In the end she tried to move in with me and get me to "help out" with her student loans and grad school when I got my bonus and she saw the amount. To quote her "you are being greedy I am your girlfriend and you should want to help me. What am I supposed to do?!? You are just so greedy and only care about yourself. I am out here on my feet 6 hours a day 3 days a week waiting tables when you could be supporting me in my dream." To be blunt I met this chick at a wedding and it should have lasted the weekend and went on for 30 months. She tried to pressure me into getting engaged at this moment in time. Point blank told her I am not getting engaged to her nor did I ever plan on it and that she is in no way wife material. I was having zero part of that. Told her I did not see the relationship moving past this stage in life and its best if we cease all communication going forward and although she had been a valuable member of the MeltedIceCube organization her performance had slipped below our high standards and we have decided to terminate her employment. I did give her a nice severance package. Left NYC around that time too. It was for the best that woman was a 7 who thought she was a 10 and that woman had expensive taste for someone who was broke. Her dad was cool and I enjoyed playing golf with him and we had a similar scrappy background but fuck that dude raised 3 shitheads for kids. 

Everyone at some point will be discriminated against get over it we are in 2022 not 1952. You might not get a job because you are fat, smell bad, have a tiny pecker, have red hair, sleep with every dude known to man, have a crappy reputation, who knows and who cares. Would you really want to work at that job anyway if they do not want you? No! You cannot bat 1000% it does not work that way and you would not want it to. I have learned more from my failures than successes. Sorry life sucks and I speak from experience it can really suck. Its a combination of skill, work ethic, and a lot of luck but I digress we are all victims of the "man" so lets protest and burn this mofo down to the ground and get free stuff! (I'm kidding!) 

 

I get really annoyed hearing about about all this ESG crap. All the ESG individuals at my firm were stupid. Most of it is just flat out pandering to endowments. Hey look we have a minority cyst-gendered pansexual binary who identifies as a equal colored panda bear. 

I hear all the time how "I'm discriminated against." Sorry bud people are assholes. Would you really want to work at that place then? Get over yourself the world is a kick in the balls. Not everyone is nice and there are a lot of jerks out there grab your balls scoop them up put them in your underwear and move on. I have been rejected from so many jobs that I could careless. Before I got my first job I was fucking rejected from a 4th tier valuation firm. It was my first real interview ever (did a MSF right out of UG) that was super regional had a MD of the firm talk shit to my face about my background and blatantly discriminated against me to my face. Left the interview knowing I did not get it and did not give a fuck. I went to the lunch with some senior analysts and ordered the most expensive shit I could and talked shit about the MD I met. Finished my super day and actually got up and left waiting 20 minutes for the last interview and instead got drunk at the airport while waiting for my flight and emailed HR telling them I am in no way fucking interested in their shitty job but thanks for the flight, free lunch, and I will be forwarding my receipts from the airport bar for reimbursement. Fuck that MD anyone who is that ballsy enough to use their position of authority to run their mouth is a loser in every other aspect of their life and was probably picked on as a kid or their parents did not love them. 

 

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