Was I in the wrong here?
I recently had a call with a BB analyst for the SA 2025 process. The call started well with us bonding over a sport we played and being from the same state. I asked her about the company, her process, and general advice for recruiting. Towards the end of the call I asked her if I would be able to talk to someone else and she was annoyed because it seemed "transactional" and moving forward how I should use these calls to gain information of the firm and not try to get my foot in the door. It was unusual because analysts were generally helpful when I asked to talk to someone else. I understand that referral to someone might have been too soon but I didn't think she'd get annoyed. Any advice on this?
you basically asked for a referral live on a call when that person does not really know you that well
some people won't mind however some in a bad mood will perceive you to lack emotional intelligence by approaching it in this way
Thank you for the feedback. When would be a good time to ask in that case? I know the process moves quickly so I can't maintain a longstanding relationship with everyone I talk
Follow up thank you email
Bro what lol everyone asks for referrals at the end of a networking call. Have you never done a networking call before?
No it’s all transactional and they know this. You didn’t do anything wrong.
It's pretty normal I'd say, everything is transactional in this industry
I am slightly annoyed by this situation. You are essentially asking for a referral from someone who does not know you well, but has taken time out of their busy schedule to meet with you. Your reputation is something that you build over a long time and can lose in a short time; therefore, vouching or introducing someone you don't know to your colleagues is a risky proposition. As some people have commented above, this is a transactional request, but what is the benefit for the Analyst / Associate you met with?
However, you can phrase the request in a way that is more polite and respectful. For example: instead of saying "Appreciate you meeting with me Tom, can you please introduce me to your ABC team or XYZ office?" you could say "Thank you for meeting with me Tom, I found the discussion insightful. If you think it would be helpful, I would appreciate the opportunity to talk more and learn more about your firm. Is there anyone whom you would recommend?"
Just my 2 cents.
Thank you for the feedback. This is really helpful. I guess I judge from how the conversation has been going, and usually, bankers are happy to refer me to someone else, but I may have judged this particular conversation wrongly.
Agreed, am usually slightly uncomfortable when prospects ask at the end of calls, unless the conversation was great.
That said, this is how recruiting works, and you did not do anything wrong, OP. My suggestion would be to ask, using the language above, in your thank you emails after a call.
Jeez what do you want us to do. You think we actually enjoy calling a bunch of randos??
Not seeing what should be annoying here. She did the same thing you favor. The wording is nitpicking unless it was outright rude or stupid.
What OP did is 100% how recruiting works. Maybe phrasing could be massaged, but the message is the same and there is no reputational risk associated with a potential intern speaking to someone else on the team. If they don't want to refer you, they can just say no or will usually ghost you. If someone else on the team talks to you and they don't like you, it doesn't matter, happens all the time. Getting your foot in the door is the ONLY reason for the call and it is always transactional without any benefit to the IB professional you're talking to, everyone knows that. The gatekeepers in this industry need to remember what it was like back when they were recruiting and loosen up.
change your name. super easy to find you on linkedin, assuming that is your real name. good luck moving forward
Assuming you are referring to me? Tom Anderson is not my real name. He is Neo from the Matrix.
hey, no, the OP originally had their first name, last name, grad year. i'm glad to see it is fixed
I always feel bad asking for this too. It makes it seem like you are just using them as a means to an end, instead of actually seeming interested in them/their work.
Maybe it was the way you phrased it? If you were talking about some random topic. Then out of the blue you say “Please refer me now!” They will probably be annoyed. A lotta people I’ve networked with have been completely willing to refer me to one of their analyst friends.
If it seems to forced, I just add it along in the thank you letter at the end, saying how you are curious about so and so or this specific thing and would be really appreciative if they could refer you to someone else in the bank.
Make sure you aren't forcing it and actually had a good conversation.
Keep doing this and don't let one bad interaction deter you. A lot of my calls have the other individual mention names without me asking or will tell me to make sure at the end of every call to ask the other to connect me with more people.
the only issue here is "her"
that's why you don't get woman in the industry, they mix business with drama
dare to put a woman as a CEO of a BB and see it get reduced to nothing (caveat emptor: Jane from Citi is actually a trans)
MD in industry but doesn't know the difference between women and woman
how you know I did not miss an "a" before woman
regardless I don't double check nor put much grammatical rigour when commenting here, so take it ez sweaty cowboy
She probably didn’t network and got her job through a campus diversity portal. focus on white men in your networking. not even a joke.
real
The right way to phrase this is “is there anyone else on your team you recommend I reach out to, to learn more?” That way you’re both taking the responsibility of doing the networking and can honestly say (with no strings attached) that you’ve “spoken with so-and-so last week and they recommended I reach out to you”. It’s a more graceful way to not only learn who works with who but can result in your name coming up internally when people start to connect dots at recruiting time.
Don't let that annoyed person derail your networking momentum. Just keep in mind not all networking calls will go like a dream. You will learn, you will improve.
Don’t sweat it. The truth is, these calls are always (on some deeper level) transactional… I’m sure that the person you networked with knows this, though she may have some gripes with it. There was no way for you to know that, and the majority of the time, someone you’re networking with would respond more politely than she did, whether they obliged or not.
All that being said, it’s a bit forward to ask for more introductions right there on the call. You can, as another commenter suggested, say something in a follow-up email along the lines of “I really enjoyed our call, and appreciated hearing about X, Y, and Z. If there is anyone else at Firm who you think would make sense for me to talk to about X, I would be really interested in speaking with him/her. Thanks again for your time!” That’s a bit safer.
However, personally, I think that the person you spoke with was “out of line” in her weirdly offended reaction. I wouldn’t recommend your course of action, but, at the same time, most analysts/associates sympathize with your situation (we were there once!) and will be nicer about it.
I see no issues with asking for a referral. Don’t beat yourself up. This is a normal part of the process.
People who like you will give you a referral. That’s how recruiting works. Either this person doesn’t understand that (which is totally possible) or you need to connect better than you already have.
Control what you can control. Keep actively reaching out and do a better job of connecting when you actually get somebody to speak with you.
Just my $0.02. Good luck!
Pretty weird reaction from her imo. Everyone knows these calls are inherently transactional. Maybe you just phrased the request wrong or something, but I would always ask at the end of the call to speak to a person’s colleagues and it felt pretty normal to me
All about framing and how you ask it
Whether you were right or wrong doesn’t matter, chance is probably toast with her anyways.
Sometimes things just rub people the wrong way. Take it on the chin and move on to the next one IMO. Don’t dwell.
Well, youve done everything ok. Nothing was wrong here. As the guy upper said, the surely know it's all transactional.
Lol you did nothing wrong my guy. Sounds like your typical networking convo
I would say she was being rather odd and potentially awkward about it
Your approach was fairly standard and common, nothing wrong with it from your end. Would recommend you keep networking with different places and generally try to speak with people that may have gotten hired in a traditional way
Some people you meet or speak with may be having a crappy day at work / under stress, so they may be in a bad mood or overly critical towards you in that moment
See if you can improve in any ways but otherwise sounds like what everyone else does in networking
Sounds like a bitch, that’s the whole damn point of calls.
Sounds like a bitch, that’s the whole damn point of calls.
Sounds like a bitter bitch lol
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