What are the banking equivalents of working in fast in food?

Had a SD at Taco Bell yesterday, Dominos hirevue last week, and Subway modeling test this AM. Got me thinking: What are the fast food jobs that represent different banks?

My ranking:

Goldman = Chick Fil A (best of the best in terms of quality and employee standards)

JP Morgan = McDonalds (storied history and well-defined brand)

Morgan Stanley =  Taco Bell (certain parts of menu [groups] are better than others

BofA = Wendy's (Good all around)

Citi = Burger King (Wants to be McDonalds but quality has a ways to go)

DB = Waffle House (staff is constantly fucking around and several times a year it ends in police swarming the office/restaurant)

Moelis = In-N-Out (known for its California location/LA association, pays a fuck ton, kitchen is constantly working due to high demand, smaller firm but renowned for quality)

Comment some more boutiques and BB's and critique my list

23 Comments
 

DB is Waffle House because their staff is constantly fucking around and several times a year it ends in police swarming the office/restaurant. Despite that, they welcome all, even if you're paying with drug money. 

GS is Chipoltle because they're known for quality control. Regardless of which group in which location is running the deal, they'll do a good job. 

 

Waffle House fucking slaps. No slander for Waffle House. If you expect good service at a Waffle House that’s on you. After a night out on your shitty SEC school’s bars, those damn waffles and bacon hit the spot.

 
Most Helpful

Funny post but a couple comments, Analyst 1

  • Let's see if we can delineate between the microwave and the head a bit more
  • Is there anyway we can show this progression quarterly? 
    • Maybe we need a whole section on this - show the trend in terms of shitpost / quality posts, college student / actual banker ratio and funny satire to spam trolls; all on a quarterly basis. Put one together and we can have it in our back pocket even if we don't use. 
  • Two ears are not vertically aligned, please fix
  • Color of the brain is too sharp/bright for the rest of the color scheme. Try grey
  • Once you've stayed up all night making these changes I'll hate the new version and submit your initial draft to the MD while claiming it as my own work product
 

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