Employment
I just graduated UCLA with a 3.8+ GPA. My major is Sociology and I would like to do Investment Banking. I have almost no work experience and I wanted to know how I can get a job in Investment Banking?
UCLA? This may be a bit of a road trip but it is your best bet to securing a job in IB.
Firstly, you're going to need a car. Drive down to Pier A near Huntington Beach. Ask around for Ramone, he's about 5'10'' with a scruffy beard and a pegleg. Ramone is not a kind man but should you treat him with respect, you may just find yourself making a $50k bonus next January.
If Ramone likes you, he will lead you to the 'Oracle' as we call him. Unfortunately, the Oracle lives in Southside so I recommend picking up some "heat" before making the trip (that's a code name for guns, as they say on the streets). Upon meeting the Oracle he is going to ask you a series of riddles ranging in complexity and length. If you answer the riddles correctly then I can 100% guarantee beyond a reasonable doubt that you WILL BE AN INVESTMENT BANKER.
Do you know what an IB does, and why you want to work in IB?
Have you started learning the basic accounting and finance principles as well as studying the ib interview guides?
Have you started reaching out to alumni who may be in IB or other people you find on linkedin?
Have you tried looking for internships through your networking? There are quite a few boutique IB's in your area you can network with the people there.
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