Goodbye

I feel completely fucking defeated.

I’m a senior at a good school. I did the internships, networking, technical prep, all of it. I interned in banking this summer, didn’t get a return, and now I’m barely scraping by in full-time recruiting while every process seems to die.

Meanwhile, basically my entire friend group has top-tier IB, MBB, PE, or hedge fund offers. McKinsey, elite banks, megafunds, top HFs. Everyone around me fucking won.

And I know the standard responses already: “comparison is the thief of joy,” “your first job doesn’t define you,” “careers are long.” I don’t care. They got better jobs, better pay, better exits, and a massive head start. I didn’t.

What makes it worse is that senior-year recruiting feels like picking through scraps. Most of the elite seats are already gone. I’m still grinding, but it feels like I’m fighting for the privilege of starting objectively behind everyone I know.

I used to think if I worked hard enough I could be extremely successful. Now I feel like I was just naive. I’m 21 and somehow it feels like the hierarchy has already been set.

I’m exhausted, embarrassed, bitter, and honestly at the end of my rope with recruiting.

Has anyone actually been the clear loser of their friend group at graduation and later surpassed them? Because right now I cannot see how this doesn’t compound forever.

11 Comments
 

totally get the frustration, what led to not getting the return? it makes it easier to realize and fix that for the rest of ft recruiting

 

basing your own value and happiness on perceived "prestige" or money is a miserable way to live tbh regardless of having an offer or not

 

Harder to sympathize with not getting a return. Recruiting has a high amount of randomness but 10 weeks feels like something mostly in your control…

Nevertheless, the financial services industry is one of continuous innovation — 2+2 at the most prestigious places possible is still probably the best way to start a career, but you’re unfairly torturing yourself to think that there is a hard ceiling on you what you can achieve based on your job at 21. Kravis and Roberts weren’t at the most prestigious bank, the Ares guy came from RBC, Blankfein and DSol got rejected from Goldman coming out of college… there are countless other better examples.

Above doesn’t even factor in that AI is going to upend all white-collar work, if not end the economy as we understand it. 

 

 

Sorry to hear you’re feeling that well. It’s definitely tough, especially if the RO was outside your control/ partially. Keep trying. The market is very tough for entry-level, and probably especially hard with the less RO this year. There will be a lot more solid jobs posted this fall. My advice would be to lower your expectations to regional IB, corporate/ commercial banking, consulting, investment research, or even some of the big companies’ corporate finance rotational programs. I know that’s not what you want to hear, but you’ll be thankful you have something when you walk across the stage. You can always renege if you find something better. Entry-level job postings will wind down in the spring and if you have nothing by the beginning of the summer, you’ll be in a much worse situation. Although it will be difficult to pivot back to what you actually want to do, it won’t be impossible. I think the advice you’re dismissing in your post is genuinely good advice. 

 

But I legitimately do not know if I can live with that fact. The fact that I tried so hard and it amounted to nothing. The fact that my career is ruined. I would rather die, and that's where dark thoughts start to come in which is bad and I recognize that but I cannot stop them.

 

It’s normal to experience grief. The 5 stages of grief are known as DABDA. But things are far from over. Your career isn’t ruined at 21 unless you’ve been convicted. It seems like you have some good experience, go to a good school, and have ~ 1 year before graduating. Also, could any of those friends refer you to their companies? Use your failures as motivation to keep going. 

 

I think all of the cliches you listed hold true, and you’re being blind and ignorant due to emotion. If a career is ~ 40 years and this is literally Year 0 for you, think about all the forks in the road that happen; maybe you were the one to get fucked this time but two years down the line maybe your buddy does and now luck does you a solid.

Let’s even just think about it this way: if you lateral to the exact firm your friend is at in one year’s time, then you’re one year behind them. If you have identical careers but they retire one year early, then you’ve reached the same endpoint.

 
Most Helpful

"Now I feel like I was just naive. I’m 21 and somehow it feels like the hierarchy has already been set."

The second sentence is the most naive thing you've said or believed. I started in an off brand job, thought my world was over. It wasn't, because your career becomes the law of averages while college recruiting is a small sample size of high variance. You will gain skills, perform well, get references, get opportunities to interview at other jobs, and all of this will impact the long-term trajectory. I never got a passing glance from GS in college and got a GS offer later in life. Didn't take it though because life and priorities shift over time, and you realize the things you thought were so important at the ripe age of 21 may not really be all that matters.
 

 

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