Hello, I am currently a Registered Dietitian trying to transition into investment banking. I was wondering if this would be good email opener when trying to build some traction and network. The last line is quite different but may catch people's attention.
Hi (person's name)
Thanks for accepting my request on LinkedIn and hope you are staying safe during these unusual times!
I am currently a Clinical Dietitian studying finance as my graduate degree at the University of New Haven and preparing for the CFA Level II Exam. I am very interested in working in investment banking at (bank name). I noticed you are currently interning there and are also obtaining your MBA at the University of (school name).
I wanted to reach out to you to see if you would be willing to talk about your experience at this bank, and how you started working in this industry over a brief phone call.
If you have any availability, I would appreciate 5-10 minutes to chat over the phone.
I specialize in fitness counseling and would be more than happy to build you an individualized nutrition plan for taking time out of your busy schedule to speak with me.
Thank you so much in advance!
Stay safe,
my name
What does anyone think?
Thanks so much
last part about building nutrition plan is unnecessary imo
The rest is good enough, i'd personally reply (given you remove the last part) to you. you can bring up the nutrition plan during the call if you feel the atmosphere is right though
just my 2c
Haha I actually love the nutrition plan! Personally I think it goes a long ways when someone offers something for your time. It shows they know your time is at least worth something...which a lot of juniors do not quite realize.
In fact, I bet some people on this site would take you up on that :)
that last statement about the fitness thing pisses me off honestly... you're trying to separate yourself from that world and transition over to a life where you need to be taken much more seriously
Thank you so much for the constructive criticism and sorry for responding so late, I did not see your comment. So I thought that last part might draw people in as most bankers get so many cold emails/calls. I also thought it might make myself stand out and give me the opportunity to build a relationship with people more closely and talk about something other than finance.
I am told over and over again that there is no free lunch in finance, so I thought I could offer people a service for taking their time to speak with me as well.
Any follow up suggestions?
Thanks so much, Dave
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