Rejections breaking me mentally

I recently had an interview with a UMM PE for an internship. Before the interview, I'd talked to a friend who went through the same process and won an offer, like he did at another MF and MBB. He told me about the format (2 interviewers, 30 min each) and content, so I prepared in the 2 days I had between the invite and interview.

The interview went amazing, probably even one of the best I've ever had. Walking through the paper LBO was like a breeze, no stumbles, no wrong calculations, and the interviewer seemed visibly impressed. I asked very specific wrap-up questions about their portfolios to highlight my interest in the PE and connected well with my interviewers. Overall, a great interview. I even told my parents and very close friends about how I felt about it, something I don't usually do. That was Friday. When the clock hit 6.00 pm on Monday (yesterday), I knew I was getting rejected. I know this feeling, it's typically accompanied by overthinking the interview and experiencing severe impatience and anger.

Up until today, I've had 99 interviews in total. The vast majority, about 98%, in IB and PE.

I thought that at some point I'd be able to develop sort of a hunch when it comes to interpreting interview performance. But all I'm able to tell is that if I feel an interview went bad, it's a rejection. If it went well, it's a rejection, too. Great pattern.

I've been in 8 processes since 2020. Didn't get a single offer. The furthest I came was for a T1 BB FT position, ended up being among the top 3 candidates but got rejected when I botched my 10th interview, as I added cash to EV. The second the interview was over, I cried. I've had several internships at T2 IB and EBs and yet in an interview situation I couldn't get it right.

Equally devastating was my AC at a T4 IB. A joke that I even had to apply there. Had to prepare a case study with a DCF for a public company. I spent so much time on it, even did a DCF with mid-year convention and stub periods. In hindsight, I was even spot on with my share price target. When I chatted with other interviewees during interview breaks, I realized just how weak my competition was. Most didn't even do a valuation for their case studies because they simply didn't know how. I was the only one from a top target, with a second language and with prior IB experience. Yet, I got rejected.

Likewise, I interned at an EB at their regional office and bonded with a senior there who referred me to the EB's London office. Applied to the LDN internship position and told my senior contact, who really made an effort. When, after weeks of waiting, I still didn't hear back, I emailed HR, a guy I even know from my prior internship with the EB. Only got a standard response although the EB prides itself on 'teamwork' and what not. Got rejected. Second shot this year for an OC position, only this time around I first send an email to HR outlining mitigating circumstances for some poor HS performance. HR didn't even give a sh*t responding to my email, which is still making me so so angry.

In my internship at the T2 IB there was a girl who was really stupid. She was slow at talking and thinking, and she was very stubborn and incandescently insecure. Judging from my talking with her, she didn't have a clue about IB really. But she is now interning at a reputable MM PE where I was rejected two years ago. At that time I thought my interview performance could have been slightly improved, but still nowhere near the level where her capabilities are. Another intern from that firm now also interns at a MM IB which rejected me straight away recently.

These things I just don't get. I have a better profile than these people, experience at EB and a lower BB stint lined up. Yet, I get rejected.

This is something that is making me really worried. People that 1-2 years ago were far weaker profile-wise suddenly catch up with me at warp speed. While they're improving, I don't. I'm idling. That's why the UMM interview was so important to me, it would've given me the chance to edge out the majority of competition out there, but again premonition and post-interview pattern tells me that I failed. I've applied to maybe 20 openings recently, and I only got that UMM PE interview and a HF pre-screen with a recruiting agency. Of course, people would say that there are better candidates and bla bla. That's what they said for the MM PE back then but given that they took in this girl, it's obviously as BS as the HR from that London EB. Or people tell me it's been personal fit or some other intangible BS excuse. But how are they consistently acing their interviews with starkly different bank cultures while I don't?

Fail. Fail. Fail.