Resigning this week - how to deal with douche boss?
I am about to resign this week after I found a job at one of our Top 25 clients and wanted some advice about my "exit strategy".
For some context, I have a really douchey two-faced boss, who screwed me over multiple times (don't want to go into details but let me put it this way - my bonus and my career were impacted heavily). Having worked with him, I know that once my current (soon to be former) boss finds out I am going to a major client, he is going to start acting all nice and put on his "charm offensive".
I am typically a very straight forward person and would like to give this guy a piece of my mind. However, I am also taking into account that he could potentially damage my career by talking sh!t about me to other people in the industry (and the industry is tiny). However, I also fully well know that he is not going to ever be helpful to me in terms of future job opportunities and I am in need of a little bit of catharsis.
How should I go about doing this?
terrible idea to do what you are thinking about doing in my opinion. without even thinking about the downside, you stand nothing to gain other than thinking that you will feel a bit better, and that might not even work.
Keep it simple. What do you get by burning a bridge? A few mins of feeling good about yourself? Risk/reward just isn’t there.
Resign, tell them you have a better opportunity and move on with life. Don’t overthink this.
One of my key rules in life is to not do anything just because it will make you feel better. You are better off just tell him that you are leaving and Marshawn Lynch'ing your entire exit (interviews etc.). Then when you go to your new job, never throwing him any work.
You telling him off might feel good for a few days, but ultimately he won’t give a shit (and it might come back to bite you). Just be very professional, then totally fuck him over once you’re at the client.
As satisfying it might be to tell him off, that feeling and moment is fleeting. It’s a small world, and if this guy has been a big douche to you when you worked together, he’ll likely talk shit or do some backhanded stuff if you tell him off.
if you’re moving on to the client side, you could always just not give him business/work (and you/the new team could ask for someone else) if that’s within your control... If it’s a small circle/industry, there are ways for people to know who is good and who’s an asshole on the DL.
Well, wouldn't he talk shit about me regardless of what I do?
I guess I increase the probability from 90% to 100%, but I don't expect this guy to say good about any of his juniors
If you’re going to the client, he’d be less inclined to talk shit about you out of self preservation because it 1) has a higher likelihood of reaching your ears and 2) it reflects poorly on him - he’ll look unprofessional, and look like a liability to the client relationship.
You just don’t want to encourage him to retaliate. That is, if you tell him off, he’ll just assume you’re talking shit about him to the client, so he’ll then think he has nothing to lose and will do so.
In a small industry/community, assholes do get found out. People talk amongst themselves. But if the asshole goes “Dave was very rude and told me (the boss) off before leaving” - it doesn’t reflect well on you either (even if it’s coming from a known asshole). Because you (and other non-assholes) are held to a higher bar of expected professionalism vs people that are already expected to be assholes (so it’s par for course).
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