Taking care of parents in finance

Wso I need your help. Quick background I come from low income/immigrant background who will start in IB as a first year in a few months will graduate from a T100 undergrad. Really excited about it and have been blessed to be at a strong bank, life changing as well. I will live with my parents and support them financially until I get married. My parents need me as they and myself are immigrants but they are legit dumb lol. My dad has been providing for us for almost 10 years ever since we came to the city making like 40k a year and he will retire in like 5 years, no pension etc and only 80k in savings lol. So at a certain point I realized my parents will be fully dependent on me financially lmao shit is stressful but it is what it is, so I guess I can't leave high finance anytime soon if I want to build wealth, support myself, my current family and future (being the oldest is shit). I would like to retire my parents in the future and would love to live a decent life so I was wondering what's the best career path for me,(2IB, 2PE, MBA at m7?) what are some career mistakes I should avoid. My costs are low but I do want to not restrict myself financially as I'm tired of living in a poor situation


If you want to maximize your career earnings I would skip the MBA at all costs unless it is sponsored, and even then I’d advise against it. It is true that in the span of a long 30+ year career 2 years of negative personal income is not a huge deal. On the other hand, you will already be stretched financially and those 2 years could cost you over $1mm when factoring opportunity cost. This has been discussed before so I won’t dive into more details, but personally I view an MBA as more of a luxury for those wanting some down time to reflect or for those who want to break into the industry.

The bright side is if you stay in either IB or PE I’m positive you’ll be able to support your family and still build a sizable net worth for yourself. Good luck on your journey.


Agree with above poster. Definitely avoid MBA. Very few firms require it to move up these days, and once you have your spot in PE they don't care that you went to a non-target. MBA is $200k plus missing 2 years of income, really poor financial decision if you're supporting your family too. Most people use it as a break/party time, it's not really required like it used to be. Just tell HHs you want a firm that promotes its associates and you're all set.

Recruit for PE (again, aiming for a firm that promotes or offers a career path seat) and try and stick in that career. 

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Truly think you are going about this the wrong way, this is like a low round first round pick of the nba draft having to pay for everyone day 1.

You will not have the chance to “retire your parents” till 10 years into your career. So worrying about this today makes no sense. Living with your parents to save costs early, makes little sense, forcing your lifestyle around them this early on again no sense. You should aim to give them 5-10% of your first 2 bonuses and that is it or so.

From there your focus should be on becoming debt free, living near the office/comfortable absolutely crushing it to be the best analyst you can be. You want as many doors open to you, and a good path to PE/career banking at high paying firms. 
Think of it this way; when you hit 30 you want to be in a position to be able to create passive income for your family. Either through investment/real-assets/businesses saving 5k today aint going to get you there. Crushing to get to a high paying potential future role is the focus.


First off your username says it all, you going to need therapy very soon.
Sorry to be real with you, but same way people on here say grow a pair and stop trying to date coworkers. You need really need to grow a pair, maybe get therapy asap and prepare to tell your parents to eff off. Or you will setup yourself for failure, I have seen it many many times before.

Anyon who says “ohh its the culture” yah whatever. Then we wonder why MFs are full of privileged kids from good schools.

I come from that culture, my parents direct help monthly, I pay for all trips, meals when we travel. I give random additional assistance so they can go a trip. I helped buy their homes, I helped my sister get her masters.

But when I made 150k, was fighting barely to survive I told them many times to eff off and broke dreams (extended family as well). They had to get used to it. But you need your sanity first. 


I see you keep talking about culture of your immigrant family.

My dad came here with nothing. Then his siblings came, as did his parents. His parents live with his brother, and my dad finances them. New car. New dishwasher. New water heater. If they need something, my dad pays for it.

My aunt married a fellow immigrant. My uncle (dad’s brother-in-law) came to America with nothing. He is now a multi-millionaire.

The way you describe your parents makes them sound selfish. I am not the oldest in my family, but I’m the most “well-off”. Siblings chose lower paying careers. My parents helped my oldest sibling buy a house, and just a few years later, sibling wants to move so they’re helping with another house.

Do not feel like you must sacrifice your life to help your parents retire. Yes, they raised you, but THAT IS A PARENT’S JOB. My parents, for as much shit as they give me, don’t expect anything in return. They still ask if I need money when they see me even though I probably have more than they do.

Immigrant culture can be bullshit, but so can American culture. I’d never be able to ship my parents off to a retirement home when they get old. Americans seem to be able to do that with no remorse or reprehension.

I lived at home after graduating college to save money. Parents paid for everything but my car (which they bought and I paid off) and gas. After a year I had around $40k saved up. I moved out and made some good investments and now will never have to rely on them for anything financially.

Being able to be financially independent is a blessing. The best thing you can do is to live your life and help your parents if they need it, but don’t sacrifice your life, especially your 20’s, to support parents who didn’t improve their financial situation.

I know the bootstraps thing has its puts and takes, but my dad did it. My uncle did it. So no excuses for those who failed to do it. Help them if you want.


This is not uncommon, you aren’t the only one going through it. You can do it. My advice:

1. Stay in banking, don’t leave for PE or get an MBA. It’s the highest cash comp job where you don’t have to take a break for school. Your value for the first ten years will be tied to your willingness to put your head down and grind. Do it. Having a chip on your shoulder will help you. 

2. Don’t give any money to your parents until they retire in 5 years. That will just lead to lifestyle creep on their part. Save your money, build a nest egg for yourself and them. Don’t waste money. Living together for a few years is fine, but don’t do it for too long. 

3. In five years when they retire they’ll get about $1,700 per month from social security. If they work longer they’ll get more. That’s $20k per year, so to maintain their lifestyle you’ll need to give them $20k per year. That will be easily doable. They will have Medicare, and once their assets go down to zero they’ll qualify for Medicaid, so virtually no healthcare expenses. If they can move to a LCOL area, even better, but if they’re making due on $40k/yr now it won’t get much cheaper, it’ll just be a better lifestyle. If they live to be very old (80’s/90’s) you’ll want to do everything to avoid them from moving into an assisted living facility which is $100k/yr - better to have them live at home or with you. 

4. Marry someone who is kind enough to understand your situation, but comes from at least an upper middle class background and makes at least six figures. Do not get into a situation where you are taking care of 4 poor parents and additional siblings with a wife that doesn’t work or makes terrible money. Culturally your parents are going to push you to marry someone like you. Don’t. Marriage is the most important business decision you’re ever going to make. Marry someone better off than you. 

5. Try to get your parents to help you offset costs that you would otherwise pay for. They contribute sweat equity. Doing laundry, cooking dinner, cleaning, walking the dog, babysitting the kids, etc etc. Don’t pay for those things if your parents can do it. This sounds weird to well-off people, but to poor people this is just good old fashioned living and a way to help the kids. 

6. Down the road, $20k or $40k per year will be manageable. But don’t overextended yourself financially with a home your can’t afford. 

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