all my life girls have used me as. a sex toy

i think as we grow older i think we realize where we really fit into this world is predetermined by how we want to experience ourselves from our own eyes

i think deep down we all know where we’ll end up and where we belong and where our place is in this world, where our destiny and caliber lies but we it just hasn’t been validated by lessons in the real world yet

All my life girls have seen and used me as a placeholder for sex while having boyfriends on the side

i got to experience girls in only one way through the sex they wanted from me
but i would envy the companionship they would have with their boyfriends and the way they would get to experience them in that way

the most i’ve ever gotten in terms of relationship characteristics is a girl playing relationship dynamic with me whilst the real intent is just to use me a placeholder for the sex she wants whilst they choose particular guys whom they see a long term future with

I think deep down I will never experience love the way i want to and girls will always categorize me as a place holder for sex

i don’t just think it’s because of certain characteristics qualities wise but it’s also because i look like the typical chad type meme (no kidding) even though i don’t place any importance on that as much as i do on becoming your own man, growing, finding growth in solitude, seeing your ambitions come to fruition through the lense of getting off on hardwork pain and the resilience that creates

just wanted to share a few thoughts and feelings …

32 Comments
 

i tried that many times but girls sense that there’s a certain incongruence between the relationship type man and just a placeholder for sex and they can smell it

the most they’ll do is pretend to ‘play’ relationship with you where the real intent is to just have sex with you whilst they’re looking for a boyfriend or that they already have a boyfriend

i remember this one girl had a serious conversation with me in the car where she said she met a guy and she really likes him and wants to be in a relationship with him but she wants me on the side just for sex

i think girls are way more smarter than guys are, they have a 6th sense for love interests and how they compartmentalize men they come across

 
Most Helpful

But that’s the highlight of the contemporary society right?

Girls in general have a very hard time loving themselves and accepting love to the point where they live off of disapproval and approval from men

add on top of that contemporary mass media and marketing especially considering the fact we’re in the late stage of capitalism where tech is the future

the entire idea behind industrialization was to raise the standards of living for individuals in a society and now the systems is grown into a massive tanker, a massive behemoth that perpetuates unrealistic standards through materialism and sexual liberty and female standards

girls already instinctually already have a hard time finding self love. Think about it, put a group of girls in the same room together with a couple of guys and you’ll find that they secretly hate eachother because they’re all constantly comparing themselves to eachother, it’s like their little female instinctual secret that they all know but it’s an unspoken social rule that is never talked about

Girls today find mature relationship skills and healthy relationships very boring given the absolute havoc contemporary marketing and media raises on their self esteem and dopamine centers

and girls are highly emotional, so imagine that they only thrive off anxiety and depression and approval and dissaproval, all it takes is one guy to ignore a girl who is naturally entitled and she’ll with a lot of arguments and fights will end up having sex with him

 

there’s a theory that women cheat on long term partners bc the guys they cheat with have the genes to make strong children but they know those hyper masculine guys won’t make good partners/fathers or at least won’t be monogamous. FWIW, I felt similarly to you until I found my most recent gf (had always been the rebound/hookup/short term fling). To a large degree, it’s about proving to her that, sure, you don’t HAVE to commit to her, but you are choosing them and demonstrating that they’re worth the opportunity cost of banging randos. Keep your masculine qualities as it is what’s attracting these chicks in the first place but subtly show that you have the qualities that make a good partner/father. And appeal to her ego by subtly implying without ever saying it that she’s the one pulling you out of your “hoe phase.” Oh yeah, and never ever trust someone you stole from someone else!

 

That sounds good, but in my experience girls don’t care as much about why you’re expending effort with them as much as they place value on your behaviors and they already know at the back of their mind what a guy wants from them or what they want from a guy so they negate all those other justifications or ideals that we tell each other or ourselves

and, again, in my experience, a girl ends up choosing what she wants to do with you and the only thing you can do as a man is either accept it or let her go because every single girl especially now days has so many options (100 snapchat notifications from a 100 guys). Sex for men isn’t such a big thing as it is for women because the dynamic is totally different because all girls have so many guys blowing up their phones and not all guys have so many girls blowing up their phones, en masse

 

Didn’t have to file any cybersecurity violation suits. Bank didn’t find out and I was blowing up the consequences way out of proportion. Amazing how a simple walk outside calms your ass down and grounds you

 

No that was a real issue, but luckily i didn’t have to file any cybersecurity violation suits as the Bank doesn’t really care about your personal life outside of work as much as they do on the way you represent yourself online. Thank God

 


Damn man - that’s wild. Well I’d just say to ask yourself why these girls are not looking for anything long term with you? You are acting like it is everyone else’s fault here, but have you really asked yourself if you could do anything differently?

 

I didn’t want to use words like masculine and feminine cuz i hate that shit but there are certain qualities that girls think are right for a certain guy that can be used for something else and certain qualities that fit another use, and i think guys who are focused on their ambitions don’t have any place mentally to clutter it with qualities that girls require for them to consider a man for a relationship. I tied this entire message with the key idea that we all know who we are and are going to be deep down because of how we want to experience ourselves from our own eyes deep down

 
Controversial

If this is actually real, Jesus Christ dude take some accountability. This is WILD pick me behavior, you are literally bemoaning how much sex you are having with girls that dont want a relationship, only to fuck you on the side. Dude you arent a fucking porn star or some other job with an immoral reputation that would ACTUALLY cause girls to not want to get into long term relationships with you. It really isnt that hard, change your behavior. What is more likely, all of this seemingly endless line of women are all looking to just fuck you and not get into a relationship no matter how desperately you try for one OR you are behaving in a way that is attracting and playing into that certain type of woman that just wants to add another rotational piece to their roster. The answer is obviously the latter as you are the common denominator here and believe me, it's not just because you look like a Chad. If I was paid by the amount of times I have been told that I look like a rich WASPY Chad, I would be retired. As a guy, you have the ability to better control who you are dating to some extent as you are the one that is doing the pursuing. You dont have the, albeit still lame, excuse girls do of "not attracting the right people". Figure out what in your behavior is attracting these women and change it. While figuring that out, go after the better types of girls who value more than just fucking and more closely align with your values and what you want in a relationship. Believe me, there is no shortage of women out there like that, so no excuses to continue to unironically complain about all the constant sex youre having.

 

You’re right in all of what you’re saying, but the thing is that i naturally start pushing away girls who show too much interest and the pursuit doesn’t give that high anymore and the sex doesn’t feel as good and you get bored and want something new and end up ghosting the girl because i don’t care about them.

i don’t think i have the mental or emotional breadth or space to involve a compartment for where I drain a part of my life to maintain and build my relationships and the tremendous responsibility that comes with leading girls especially if they are your responsibility A.K.A married

especially after i did get into a situationship (an unofficial relationship status to test how the girl will be in under an actual label) and tried to change myself for her which is what a girl does when trying to get a man in her control so that he serves the relationships purpose so they have to knock you down a few notches

effectively once a girl thinks she has you or you give her certainty, it’s death row for you because, at least in my experience, she will nag, complain, lie, hate, enjoy messing with you because you are giving her the very thing she tried to change about you and now that she’s changed you and she knows you’re not going anywhere she will get worse and worse and if you show any backbone, she’s going to pull back with ultimatums and threats to get you back in line, she will go as far and even cheat you with multiple men

and the only option you have is to go back to who you used to be and all of a sudden she notices you no longer give her that certainty and instead give her disapproval because of the way you’re pulling back and giving her less and less attention and therefore less validation to the point where she changes her behavior and tries to pursue you

and at the end it’s a constant struggle for who has control of the relationship and the only out you have is leaving her for good

 

IMPORIUMXIV

i think as we grow older i think we realize where we really fit into this world is predetermined by how we want to experience ourselves from our own eyes

i think deep down we all know where we’ll end up and where we belong and where our place is in this world, where our destiny and caliber lies but we it just hasn’t been validated by lessons in the real world yet

All my life girls have seen and used me as a placeholder for sex while having boyfriends on the side

i got to experience girls in only one way through the sex they wanted from me
but i would envy the companionship they would have with their boyfriends and the way they would get to experience them in that way

the most i’ve ever gotten in terms of relationship characteristics is a girl playing relationship dynamic with me whilst the real intent is just to use me a placeholder for the sex she wants whilst they choose particular guys whom they see a long term future with

I think deep down I will never experience love the way i want to and girls will always categorize me as a place holder for sex

i don’t just think it’s because of certain characteristics qualities wise but it’s also because i look like the typical chad type meme (no kidding) even though i don’t place any importance on that as much as i do on becoming your own man, growing, finding growth in solitude, seeing your ambitions come to fruition through the lense of getting off on hardwork pain and the resilience that creates

just wanted to share a few thoughts and feelings …

You sound like whiny bitch and kind of a piece of shit if you're readily admitting you help women cheat on their SOs (hint: if they have boyfriends, you're the who's one on the side). What this sounds like is you're probably attractive to these women, but you're boring/have an insufferable personality and are therefore not worth the personal time investment post-coitus.

"If you don't have any enemies in life you have never stood up for anything" - Winston Churchill | "It's a testament to the sheer belligerence of the profession that people would rather argue about the 'risk-adjusted returns' of using inferior tooth cleaning methods." - kellycriterion
 

yeah true i am insufferable but i think that is part of why they’d rather have sex with me than choose me to be their boyfriend. it’s sad but relieving at the same time because relationships are a responsibility but also a place where you lose yourself and your manhood because 20 years from now if you think your intent and decision to get married for companionship will save you from the loneliness down the road… you’re in for a massive massive lesson in life

sex gets empty after a while and so does every other pleasure (Booze, Drugs, even a new car or a new watch) and you start valuing the things that everyone else finds boring (Family, Children, Strong and Genuine Relationships, Health, Fulfilment and pride from your hardwork) and wants the more alluring thing

 

Despite this being a troll post, some of the insights here on dating/relationships are actually eye opening and definitely helped me see things differently.

Overall though, whatever you’re describing it’s not as much of an issue for a man in his 20s or 30s presumably, as you’d have time to improve and work on yourself.

 

that’s a natural reaction believe me i wouldn’t believe or take seriously what i’m saying but when you experience this and learn the lessons you realize life and everything in a man’s life that is usually a priority isn’t what it seems at all. This is all because of these assumptions our parents and todays media and marketing and movies and music have passed down to us.

My advice, discover who you are, what your values are, your strengths and weaknesses, the main thing here that will fracture time is the hard disciplined focused long work where you keep doing whatever it is you’re working on and don’t stop even if you don’t feel like it, become stronger than your feelings, your self worth will improve, you’ll start to experience yourself differently.

And this is personal growth i’m talking about, but when it comes to relationships and dating, once you’ve been through the tunnel you’re no longer the same. I feel and think that as i grow older, it’s only a matter of time before i get exposed to lessons of other areas of life before you die inside and realize life isn’t about happiness, it’s effectively suffering (self doubt, pain, loneliness, self esteem issues) and the ultimate purpose in life for every man is himself, his personal growth, a man begins to bloom like a flower, shape shifts how he sees himself the harder and longer he works and the more experiences he gains.

 

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