Any late bloomers on here? What did you realize as you get older?
Hi,
I'm a late bloomer. I just recently got my life together after a few years of becoming depressed and fucked up. I'm lonely as fuck and I realize everything I felt negative about myself was just me putting negative thoughts into my head. It is not true, but it has done its damage. I looked in the mirror recently and realize I am nowhere near as ugly as I thought I was. If anything, I'm quite charming with a very distinctive voice and I got nice jawlines.
I grew up never having parents praising me for anything. Not good grades, not when I made the basketball team, not nothing. I think not having the closet people in your life giving you any love can fuck with people's confidence. It definitely affected me. I never felt like I was good enough or a top dog even though I was at the top of my class. Most of my life I was well liked, and I had no problem with girls, but I was incredibly oblivious when any of them showed interest. I would get all tense and be shy. I still regret not bagging a few hot girls who showed interest. Instead, I went home and fapped like a beta 18 year old.
I was always a loner and recently just started changing my life around. Does anyone feel the same? I'm in my mid 20's. I just realize how idiot of a person I am letting insecurity fuck with my head. I look around and I’m no better or worse than most people, but yet why am I so insecure and letting it cripple me? I should be shooting my shots and taking risks to better my life, but instead I let the fear of rejection and judgement stop me.
Only a few days ago I realize I need to let it go. There is so much freedom in letting go and not giving a fuck about what people think. I feel so relieved for the first time in a long time. I stopped using social media, stopped fapping to girls on Instagram, and started doing shit with my life.
I don't have a fap addiction, it's just a great stress reliever, but I also realize it isn't healthy. I need to get real pussy and get my life fixed up. Does anyone here relate to me or been there? How did you turn yourself around and feel better? I can't be the only one, right? Am I tripping? I had a shitty childhood with some auto-pilot parents that in return fucked with my confidence even if they mean no harm. I didn’t grow up having it. I just want to better myself. Any insight or whatever you want to share is welcome!
Yeah, I was like you in high school and early college. Had good parents, but they are super religious and I grew up super religious so it stopped me from doing a lot of things. I came out of my shell in college but then COVID hit, though it didn’t set me back. I had a lot of time at home to do some much needed self reflecting. Reflecting on personal stuff, on my career and who I want to be. I feel like a much more confident, much smarter person now than I did even two years ago. I think that’s the point just bettering yourself each step of the way. I just try be confident and direct and that has served me well so far.
I feel good that I’m in this headspace as I’m about to graduate and move on to the next phase in life. You’re in your mod 20’s so you still have lots of time, it’s good you realized how much your insecurities were holding you back, I can relate to some of those things (lots of people can honestly) moving forward you have the choice to stay the same or to grow.
So live as if you were living already for the second time and as if you had acted the first time as wrongly as you are about to act now.
Thanks for your comment! it's a struggle man for real! I wish I can go back in time and right that wrong mindset I had, but the thing about life is...there is no going back only going forward. Best of luck to you and your endeavors!
Don’t let past regrets get to you too much. As long as you don’t make the same mistakes going forward you’ll be okay.
Yeah dude. Don't get hung up on shit. Caveat emptor! I mean Carpe Diem! Seize the day.Acknowledge that you're mistakes and keep moving forward. Know that you're still young and be thankful that you have the mentality to wake up and pull yourself out of that mess. Sign up for a meet up or do some fun new activity. Don't doubt it, just do it. Do it while you still have the drive and motivation so that you stay committed even when it's gone.
Go out there and explore the world. And please, uninstall Runescape.
Thank you man! Haha! Lowkey, I wanted to see if anyone would call me out on that. I don't play no more, but use to love runescape when I was a kid back then! I guess you played at some point too! It got way too grindy for me. Good times though!
My childhood was a little messed up, which may have led to getting a slower start to my career. I grew up in a lower to middle class areas comprised of a lot of white trash and regrettably I did not realize how trashy some of these people were until later on. Another issue that held me back in my own mind, was that I was a very late bloomer physically, which had a negative impact on me with women but mainly when was I was very young. That changed as I got into my 20s. I managed to muddle though it and find my way. I think the main reason I was able to get through it was that I was very interested in sports and excelled at it, especially baseball. Along the way, I learned that to be at the in order to be near the top of anything, you had to work hard at it. Something else that I learned along the way is that it is much more productive to focus on your own positive attributes than to dwell on your deficiencies.
try reading "physco cybenetics" by Maxwell waltz
Great that you are working on letting it go.
Like somebody else said I can resonate with your story a lot (like many others probably).
Just let those past regrets fuel you to work on yourself and you will look back in a few years with pride on what you have accomplished since you have identified this for yourself.
I think you honestly know for yourself which things you need to cut out in your life and which thing you need to do more to work on yourself - it is a challenge for everyone I think
Thanks! Yeah, I think everyone has a transitional period in their early to mid 20's when they realize all the things they cared so much about like not being good enough, being insecure, and all that negative talk is just not worth it and got to let it go. If anything it just weighs people down. I realize honestly no one gives a fuck. All of us got our own things to deal with. No one is really paying any of us that much attention honestly. The world doesn't evolve around anyone. We are just living in it and just trying to make the best of it! Thanks for sharing! I feel the same!
Keep fighting - you can't change the cards you are dealt at birth, but you can do everything in your power to play them as best possible.
Some tips:
- Do meditation / mindfulness for 20-60 min everyday to observe what goes on in your mind, realise you do not need to believe everything you think, and disconnect from your negative past experiences.
- Go to therapy (try ISTDP) to get help with finding yourself
- Put yourself in challenging and difficult situations - this will help you grow and build confidence in yourself
turn inward. I had HUGE insecurity issues for as long as I can remember. I've talked about this topic in one way or another (bettering yourself, my struggles, etc.) in various threads, happy to have a deeper discussion as well
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I was a late bloomer id say. Got rejected from every college out of HS, went to CC then transferred to a target and landed a gig at an EB. I had super strict parents growing up and missed out on a lot of fun. The best thing that happened to me was getting a job and moving out on my own. I think what you need is to get your own place and job. You'll have the freedom, fun, money etc. Once you start working you'll be able to find a bunch of chicks and go on vacations (when you have off time).
Wow, how'd you go from CC to a target? Also, if you had strict parents and no fun in high school, how did you get rejected from all colleges?
What age did you move out?
I don't think it's that hard to go from a CC to a good university. It's not like you have a ton of competition at a CC and I think if you were smart, motivated, and took everything seriously, you'd be able to stand out and get good recs.
I had a good GPA and transferred to a school that was transfer friendly. Also, my HS was very prestigious and difficult, so my GPA was low and I didn't really apply to any safety schools.
how much pussy do u get now vs before?
I'd say a lot more now since I have the money to travel and date International girls. For American girls id say slightly more due to money and not having parents control how much I could go out. A lot of the issues in HS were that my parents didn't allow me to go out that much and it hurt a lot of chances girls gave me in HS
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