Beat up 2 other analysts. What to do?
I work for a middle market firm that specializes in martial arts m&a (fairly niche industry with just a few players -- really interesting clients though.) We were competing with 3 other banks in a bake-off for an mma gym. The prospect decided that he would choose a bank based on a no holds barred MMA fight between analysts from each bank. I represented my firm and put two other analysts in the hospital. Turns out the mma gym owner was joking and now they’re pressing charges for aggravated assault.
Did I mess up?
First of all, there's really only one firm that specializes in this so way to out yourself. Considering that your team only has two analysts on LinkedIn, I'm pretty sure who you are.
Second, yeah dude big mistake. Best case scenario, you severely strained your firm's reputation in the industry, and even if you don't get a conviction, they might be better off terminating you after this settles down. I mean come on, its a professional industry and you need to act the part.
I suggest you speak to a lawyer immediately. Stop banana-hunting on WSO and think about your priorities. Maybe banking isn't for you.
With that being said, did your firm win the bake-off?
Chat is this real?
You have a bright future ahead... MD promotion on the way IMO. You should be the banker to the Musk-Zuckerberg fight.
Sounds like you should get a referral bonus when the prospect makes his decision.
I know exactly who you are! You're the guy that beat me up during the interview wait. You broke my arm in an armbar and claimed it was an accident before telling me I have weak bones.
I'm one of the 2 analysts you put in the hospital. I will forgive you if you buy me a PS5
Hey could you be a bit more specific on what firm you work at? E.g. (think CVP, Moelis, WF). You forgot to include that so I don’t know what to think (think it’s because I can’t think for myself). Let me know your thoughts.
Congrats on Moelis!
How'd you know?
Remember the old industry saying: if there’s no blood in the pitch, you might be a bitch.
Early A2A in your future!
Cool story bro! Reminds me of the time I was working in a healthcare focussed boutique and our team was competing for a mandate from this healthcare/medtech services provider company (think provides surgical equipment and rooms for hospitals). Anyway we arrived for the bake-off, then the CEO of the company said they he couldn't decide which bank to go for, and he would make up his mind based on making the youngest analyst on from each bank perform surgery (using their equipment) on their own MD to remove their appendix, and the MD which managed to live for the longest would win the mandate. I represented my firm, but unfortunately I must've forgotten a lot of high school biology, as my MD didn't make it past 5 minutes and bled out on the table (I nicked his jugular).
In the end the bank had to close operations because it was a small few-MD shop and since the MD died we lost about a third of our deal revenue. Also turns out the healthcare company CEO was joking and I landed a murder charge.
Congrats on Lazard
Gay.
That’s cool i beat up my Hr lady’s cheeks
good luck grabbing soaps in prison's baths, king
This begs the question, which prison is the most prestigious with highest total comp/best exits?
Heard Fox River places well into top tier geopolitical focussed MF groups (think The Company)
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