1) Return of Drunk Bernanke: What the Fed chairman might want to say, but probably won’t (Washington Post) - Who knew tapering could hurt this bad?
2) SEC To Push Admissions Of Wrongdoing In Some Cases (FIN Alternatives) - To this I say, "It's about damn time." But the proof is in the pudding, and I'd still bet my bottom dollar that the well-connected get a pass. I guess big fines are something.
3) Why geniuses don't have jobs (CBS Moneywatch) - So that's why I'm unemployable. There aren't any jobs out there smart enough for a monkey of my intellect.
4) Most workers hate their jobs or have 'checked out,' Gallup says (Mercury News) - Not sure why this is news or why we're even bothering to measure this stuff anymore. Office Space came out in 1991, for crying out loud (not talking about the movie from 1999, I'm talking about the animated short the movie was based on). We've all hated our jobs and been checked out for a very long time.
5) The Trade: American Dream Now a Part-Time Job and an Apartment (CNBC) - I have to say I feel bad for you younger guys, because any guy my age who tells you we didn't have it way easier than you do is a liar.
6) Why 20-Somethings Are the Most Successful Entrepreneurs (Forbes) - But here's where you're at a HUGE advantage: go start your own company and fail fast. It's far likelier that you'll be successful (or that you'll even have the stones to attempt it) than somebody even 10 years older.
7) Canada criminalizes masks at 'unlawful' protests with up to 10 years in prison (The Verge) - Who else thought of Midas Mulligan Magoo the minute they saw this? I wonder what the hell that guy's been up to lately...
8) Charging Cellphones with Fire (Yahoo! Finance) - Ok, this is just cool. I picture whipping one of these out at Starbucks and watching people lose their shit.
9) Source: Patriots' Hernandez likely to be arrested (Sports Illustrated) - Is Tim Tebow the luckiest SOB on Earth? Guy goes from the unemployment line to starting Tight End on one of the best teams i the NFL. And only one guy had to die to make it happen.
10) Satanic serial killer Richard 'Night Stalker' Ramirez turned green before his death (NY Post) - Here's hoping whatever caused it was agonizingly painful. Sick bastard.
Video of the Week:
The following video is pretty NSFW, so be sure to look around before you play it at work. The John McAfee saga continues this week as he releases this bizarre and hilarious instructional video for how to uninstall his namesake anti-virus software. Anyone who has tried to uninstall McAfee in favor of a new anti-virus program can attest to the fact that McAfee is like hard drive herpes - you ain't gettin' rid of that shit. But this video is so over the top I don't know what to say. Well played, I guess? Makes me wonder if he's really batshit crazy or he's just been trolling the world for the past couple years. Enjoy:
That's it for this week, monkeys! Enjoy the Summer Solstice tonight, have a tremendous weekend, and let me know what you think of this week's Bananas in the comments!
Can't stop laughing at that video. Don't even know what to say.
That video was batshit crazy. The man still has way too much time on his hands I think.
Wow I went into that video with high expectations and it still blew me away.
No one should have to use xhamster.
God was willing to sacrifice that mans life so Tebow could save us all. WWTD?!
I look forward to bonus bananas every week!
Will you cry for us eddie?
Again, nicely done, brother!
If I was a betting man, I would say Midas is antagonizing the protesters down in Brazil at the moment...
The video was funny as hell. Hoping Mcafee comes out with more crazy shit.
Quo quidem est sapiente eum qui nihil et. Excepturi ratione rerum dolores. Occaecati voluptatem esse ut enim.
Earum et ut et architecto sequi repellat. Libero iure animi qui sapiente adipisci enim temporibus. Dolorem praesentium occaecati quia quibusdam. Quos est neque ipsa eaque ea veniam voluptas reprehenderit.
See All Comments - 100% Free
WSO depends on everyone being able to pitch in when they know something. Unlock with your email and get bonus: 6 financial modeling lessons free ($199 value)
or Unlock with your social account...