Dating in NYC as a girl
If a guy doesn’t book the next date at the end of the current date I assume that means they aren’t sure how they feel yet. I decide that’s fair for me to assume and cut things off to not waste my time. What do you guys personally think? I’m not cool being a second choice or choice in case something better doesn’t pop up during the week. Even if they’ve casually thrown in “next time we can...” a few times during the night 🙄 maybe harsh AF but cynicism is sanity in this disgusting nyc dating environment especially with the finance guys who are not as sneaky as they think - at least with anyone also in the industry.
If you're not into the person on the first date it should be obvious to both people. Sparks should fly if that person was meant to be.
I disagree here. I have had alright first dates, but thought that there might be something there and then the person really opens up on the second date and we have a blast.
if you are really into the guy on the 1st date, you should be so overcome to the point where you bring him home and have sex with him...and if that's not the case....next
I don't think you've been out with any girls....
It’s scientifically proven that girls who say shoot like this won’t get a second date
They don’t get a second date because they choose not to leave that as a potential option for the guy
If I go out with a girl, and I don’t like her, I just tell her I have to return some video tapes.
That’s perfect. And if she gets this line and knows where its from, then she deserves a second chance imo.
That’s perfect. And if she gets this line and knows where its from, then she deserves a second chance imo.
Indeed, if she gets this, she's getting a second date. Perhaps at Dorsia.
I don't think you've been out with any girls either....
went out with your mom.
book? do you come with an app?
Most of the comments on this topic are the epitome of high school... Time to take a break from WSO and get back to math homework
i have lots of female friends in their late 20's --> mid 30's....and they all say the same thing...dating in NYC is HARD. Both guys and girls have so many options...but girls want to snag a good guy and lock him down (marriage and kids)...but the good guys want to snag (shag) a new girl every week....and they are able to....which leads lots of hot girls to disappointment...unless they are willing to be a wing-girl for their guy and go threesome hunting...
I have heard this as well, but fully disagree with your whole good guys just want to shag a new girl every week. I would argue that many girls/women don't really offer enough to these men for them to lock them down. If you provide someone with above average looks (which may fade), average conversation, and average sex. You have brought nothing to their life. I think there are a lot of average girls out there that think they are above average. Granted this all goes the other way as well. Generally I think everyone is just to picky nowadays/ they should be able to have a conversation with someone about how they feel.
You would be surprised at how many guys think they’ve struck treasure by locking down an above average looks/average to below average personality combo and then are shocked by what they have on their hands a few years down the road
It’s the truth. Guys forget that girls can easily go off with other guys though. Or maybe that’s how they justify being jerks who talk to other girls. That’s why I decided to not torlerate the behavior. I’ve had pleasant first date experiences with pretty successful guys who WILL communicate and be direct about scheduling the next date before calling it a night.
At the end of the day though girls who aren’t independent and career driven allow this to happen by tolerating the behavior hoping to stick around long enough to change their minds. These are the ones who make it their goal to lock a jerky finance guy down.
There I times where I will say lets do this again with full intentions of going on a second date, but don't want to promise a time given the variability in finance. However, I guess I am on the younger side of ladder and as people get older they may feel it more important to lock in things sooner.
Also I don't think its wrong for someone to walk away from a date and decide after the fact that they want to continue or not continue at a later date, due to nothing other than their own choice.
God bless you @OP...NYC is overrun with betas now, must be a tough go for you. Mind providing some color there? When I chat with girls I know it is a common refrain.
My gf thinks I'm Jack Bauer and I'm just a normal guy, really easy comps in NYC.
We don't chase em' we replace em'
Amen
what a lot of girls don't understand (but obviously, many do) is that men who have a taste for multiple women will get good at making a girl believe whatever is necessary to get the girl into bed..but once the chase is over...on to the next girl conquest.
The only way to win at the game for the girl is to
1) be really hot
2) be really cool and fun
3) provide wild and crazy sex to every guy she dates until one decides to stop the girl-merry-go-round and marry you
girls will say "i'm not doing that" and just stay single and miserable....however, doing the above will be much more fun and satisfying...and ultimately give you the best result.
Kind of odd how this is the case. you see attractive girls have a tough time dating but will see unattractive guys with hot girls pretty often (as long as they’re some combination of funny / confident/ successful)
i left something out...men want to be worshipped as "heros"...so a girl who allows a guy to "be her hero" and says things "omg, ur my hero" (in real life....not over text...and when it makes sense to do so) will generate emotional bonding for the men, and is a way to lock a guy in.
men and women are fundamentally different. men want to spread their seed...women want a protector (doesn't matter if you make $$ millions more..this is evolutionary biology). all your female logic will go out the window when a male shows the right traits (pre-selection, confidence, authenticity, protector, etc)....this is why male looks don't matter as much as female looks (female looks as far as men are concerned have more to do with ability to deliver and feed babies....so...hip to waist ratio and large full breasts, and high estrogen content which can be seen in the face and personality).
Sure, at first, girls feel like they have all the power, because men appear to always be "thirsty" and there are countless men who want to have sex with you...but what younger women don't understand is...just because a guy wants to have sex with you (and thus, does al the courtship stuff that he has been trained is necessary to convince a girl to have sex)...doesn't mean he really wants to date you...news flash, until you earn emotional bonding with a guy...none of them want to date/marry you...they ALL just want to impregnate you (our logical minds don't...but our genetic material primal drive does) and then off to the next. This drive to spread out seed never really goes away...even when married with kids, men still want to spread our seed...we just restrain ourselves because of societal pressure (and we don't want to hurt the women we love)...so this conflict will always exist in a society that values mononamy.
And, to your comment, its not that attractive girls have a tough time dating...they can get all the dates and sex they want...but they have a hard time "keeping" a guy after they have sex...because as stated above...in NYC there is an endless supply of hot girls to have sex with, and we men want to have sex with ALL OF THEM.
I think the opposite actually. Booking a date during the first? Seems like rushing things in my opinion
Brother don’t take dating advice from girls who post on WSO
I agree. Feels too business-y for me.
Anticipation and not knowing everything is all part of the fun.
This is EXACTLY why dating becomes a game. Guys are immature AF.
hey, listen there's a pandemic currently going on so I gotta shoot my shot. No regrets..
can i get ur snap...i can pm u?
shoot your shot bro...shoot your shot.
don't post anon tho. Gotta have confidence.
I feel you. I haven't dated in a while primarily because of how non-transparent men can be. At this age, I really appreciate it when people are straightforward. Like if you don't like me, it's fine. Just don't lead me on. If you like me and want to go out again, then don't play hard to get. Just let me know. We're no longer in high school.
I honestly don't know how to go about dating these days. I don't like using dating apps. Have been stuck at home since 8 months. The only relationship that I have been in was with a friend of mine (it's been a few years). It didn't work out but it was pretty good at least in the beginning. We're still friends tho lol
what would you rate yourself on the 1-10 scale...comparing yourself to other women...maybe a celeb for reference?
why...are you going to give me advice. Dude I already told you above that I am pretty sure you've never been out with any girls lol
You have trust issues.
i have never NEVER locked in date #2 while still on date #1. i will flirt and say something like "we should do this again" or "next time you're gonna need a safe-word" with a seductive tone and a wink....but i have never said "so, next thursday dinner at 8pm at WolfGangs"
I should just feel very complimented by this then because my experience has been this more often than not
that just means you are going on dates with beta cuck simps who feel they can't get other girls to go out with them, they are desparate for any female...because a man who has choice...who knows he can have many women...that man who all women desire....a truly confident man, that man does not do this.
It could maybe be that my experiences have usually been outside the norm so now my standards are slightly higher and I’m more inclined to be direct if things don’t go that way
Someone's got a type
If you think he's a good guy... you could take the initiative and suggest something too? If he says "next time we can.." and actually mentions realistic things, it could be a pretty obvious sign for a second too. Tf do you want, a calendar invite confirmation to make sure he's not wasting your time?
I expect to see him make the calendar event on his phone
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