Dealing with manager with constant mental breakdowns?
Anyone work with a manager who has constant mental breakdowns and takes it out on his analysts? How do you deal with this?
Would appreciate your advice. Thanks!
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Sh*t man what's he like? How long has this been going on for? Have dealt with a few mid levels like this before but everyone's a little different
Just regularly screaming at analysts in the bullpen, even when we're not staffed with him on any projects. It's just really cringe listening to him yell and rant about how shitty his life is bc is wife is leaving him for another man on top of a variety of other issues, so we don't have it as bad as he does yada yada, like nobody cares dudes gotta take a hint - everyone's got their struggles, don't need to get yelled at everyday about his problems
I don't know how others have worked with this guy for years dealing with these constant outbursts, but seems like a lot of the other analysts in my group have been chatting about this and think he needs to seek some serious psychiatric help or something. I think he just needs to relax a little and focus on his own work tbh. I don't really know how to let him know that without thinking he might try to slap me on his way out of the office, so kind of a tricky predicament
Not to use a twitter-tier lib term, but whenever people 'trauma dump' on you its because they literally have no one else to talk to. This dude likely has no real close friends or family, and has to bottle it inside until he gets around his coworkers. We all have bad days and if someone is a little snappy from time to time whatever. If it's a regular occurence then it's a sign he is in over his head, either with home life, work life, or both.
Sounds like the job is too big for him and he simply shouldnt be managing others imo
Sorry to hear that. I’ve met a few of these types before. Oftentimes these people you describe are fully bottled up with anxiety, stress, anger and maybe even mainly disappointment in themselves or where they are currently, so they may want you to feel similarly as bad about yourself.
They’re not acting this way to help you or lift you up, and people who are actually happy and successful don’t behave this way towards others, especially when considering that you’re not even working with him; he shouldn’t have any logical reason to be that angry with you personally to the point that he’s screaming at you. Sometimes people are emotional or hurting inside and you just gotta try and understand where they’re coming from, and tbh some people really are just sick in the head, but it sounds like you weren’t the one who made him this way so what’s the issue?
I’ve seen this situation two or three times before and my blunt advice is to just leave. Change teams internally, lateral to a different firm, etc.
These situations rarely improve, particularly if the perpetrator is older (older people are more set in their ways and - absent of a major shock - are less likely to change their behaviour). The mental health impact is unbelievable as well and the environment will slowly devour you like poison (loss of sleep, breakdowns, crying in the bathroom - I’ve heard it all).
Some people on here will tell you to tough it out, don’t be a pussy, ask you to stop being soft, etc. I’d advise you not to listen to them - times have changed (this isn’t the 90s or early 2000s anymore) and there is nothing wrong with seeking better work environments.
This industry isn’t the military where you expect to be cussed out and screamed at every few minutes. It’s just another office job and basic human decency is expected.
We all have our low points but treating your juniors like this is very offside.
My advice is this is not something you should try and handle. It'll blow back in some way, either an extreme reaction from this person or something else, and just not end well. Talk to someone higher up.
Kill him with kindness. Buy him a positive potato and put it on his desk.
https://www.amazon.com/TOYMIS-Mini-Funny-3inch-Interesting-Knitted-Doll…
This one is good too - haha he might freak out if you put it on his desk.
https://www.amazon.com/Handmade-Emotional-Cucumber-Knitting-Ornaments/d…
We have a mid-level individual like that, 5+ juniors have effectively embargo'ed him and have made it very clear to the MDs / staffer why. But this is uniquely bad if he is running around screaming at people he is not even working with.
There is not a single professional job in the world where you should have to tolerate abuse endlessly even in IB/PE/etc. If the group refuses to do anything about it, thats a terrible sign...
I had issues with my first manager outside of college was when I was in a corporate finance role. She wanted me to commingle funds in a certain way that was illegal according to the contracts in DoD Management Consulting.
She used to scream at me at my desk at the top of her lungs and 30 other people in the room could hear her. Everyone did what she commanded except me. I am very sensitive to verbal abuse and would sometimes cry at my desk after everyone had left for the day. I just started my career and I wondered if it would come to an end only a few months into it. I felt so stuck, miserable and hopeless. I would hate coming into work everyday.
I reached out for help with an alumni who was an executive much higher than her and he helped me navigate through the process. We eventually got the contracts and negotiation officer involved and she said what my manager was doing with the funds was wrong and illegal. My manager was promptly kicked off the project and it was one of the best days of my life.
If your manager is regularly screaming at people who he does not even work with because he is angry with him self, then he is not a real manager, he is a wild cave man at best. Make sure you and your analysts stay far away from your angry manager and do not staff yourselves onto his pitches, he need to check himself into a mental institution
Yeah sounds like he’s prob just going thru it, better just keep your distance from him and let other analysts know to do the same, which they already seem to be aware of
Best to just ignore it. These types who don’t have any people skills or social awareness won’t stick around in your group very long. People want to be around competent and mature managers, maybe people who are also fun / funny if they’re young, not a big ball of anger
Tell him to save the drama for his momma.
Hahaha that’s so embarrassing for your manager dude but shit lemme know where you work, I’d gladly sign up to take his spot
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