Do you envy your peers or coworkers?

I find myself comparing my background and accomplishments with others a lot. I don't feel completely satisfied with where my career is and what I've done so far. In hindsight I always could have pushed harder and done more with my life. On the surface it seems like my peers and friends are effortlessly reaching their goals, whether it's career or life and I can't help but feel envious. The older I get the more mellow I am about the career rat race but I still care too much about getting ahead even though it's all a silly game.

12 Comments
 

Yes if they're wearing some gucci loafers propped on the desk next to me

 

Here is what you should do: - get to know people you respect - understand their lifestyles - improve your own life decisions, goals and attitude - work hard(er)

Life is too short to feel envious. Work smarter and harder to get where you want to be.

nb what appears effortless in others is often the result of really hard work, the right amount of networking and a bit of luck

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline  1-800-273-8255
 

Luckily, my co-workers are in their mid 30s and are now having pissing matches over their kids achievements, and their home projects/renovations. The other they they had a heated debate on garage upgrades.

I don't have kids, nor do I give two shits about renovating homes, so it's all good.

If anything, I do sense some resentment whenever I tell them about my vacations and traveling. It's obviously easier for me to just do things like that, compared to the people with wife, kids, and a never-ending list of things to do.

 
Most Helpful

It is human nature to want to be better than everyone. So you ain’t alone and it ain’t unique. Being self conscious and comparing yourself to others has a lot of positive drivers, but it can also turn negative when you obsess with it. Additionally, everyone defines “better” differently, so it can get a bit tricky to properly measure the d and compare size with others. Losing battle.

My recommendation would be to focus on other parts of the life satisfaction formula. Working out, cooking, friends/family relationships, volunteer work, traveling, reading, continued education etc. It really is a formula beyond work and salary. 50 yr old you isn’t going to look back and give any fucks about marginal salary differences and titles. Some of the peers/friends I truly look up to and have an admitted jealousy towards (healthy jealous) are knocking it out of the park in the areas that I need to work on.

A little self assessment regarding your weaknesses and focusing on the long-term-full-formula type of strategy can really pull your self confidence back from the ashes and put the chip back on your shoulder.

 

I think part of the issue is that everyone is CEO of their company, according to LinkedIn. People emphasize their accomplishments and downplay their set backs. Cultivate relationships, work hard and focus on the things you can control. Trust me, it will all work out for you.

 

I always am but realized after everyone was doing better than me and some were not but I only think about the ones better than me that you just have to try your best and be happy with what you have and what you wre able to accmplish. Also, many times the ones who are making the most money are not the happiest. I know several bankers who are making great money but don't have any time to spend it......so the gfs spend iti for them.

Will update my computer soon and leave Incognito so I will disappear forever. How did I achieve Neanderthal by trolling? Some people are after me so need to close account for safety.
 

Above advice is good but learn to care less about what you think of other people. Would you really want to live a life where you are constantly comparing to others? Shouldn't you be happy for their success and breed a mentality that everyone is doing their best and celebrate all achievements? Don't be envious. Be humble.

 

A little 'mind-hack' I have found helpful: When I find myself making comparisons with others, I always try to find one thing that I have that the other person does not. And become comfortable with that and drive your sense of self-ease from that. For example - I am not at all jealous of Jeff Bezos or Zuckerberg, or Nelson Peltz, etc.. Why not? Because they are older than me - I have more years to live. I wouldn't trade my life for theirs - I get to live through more of the 21st century than them. Zuckerberg has to deal with the hyper-partisan politics of free speech and is a target of criticism 24/7 - no thanks. It sound silly, but it does really help.

And if you truly are 'jealous' of someone who has done better in an area in which you'd like to emulate - befriend them. Be happy for their successes, like truly try to get in that mindset. You'll have to force yourself at first, but then it becomes second nature, and you'll reap benefits (professionally and more importantly, personally).

 

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