Is religion necessarily a deal breaker? I'm a proud Catholic and id rather date someone religious like me but nowadays it's pretty rare to find a good ol religious girl. Almost as rare as a unicorn. Now when I say religious I don't mean hardcore religious. Just someone who has faith and believes in God.
Does religion matter to you and if so how much
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If the person knows love and does good works for others, that is good enough for me. But, our kids are going to Catholic school.
Silver bananas should have a “based” option
Every strict catholic school person I’ve known turned out to be the wildest people once they got to college. Lol.
Once again, Isaiah proves that first post is indeed most based post
i only consider it a turn off when someone is being an ignorant asshole about religion or religious beliefs (of all major religions, mind you). otherwise, it does not matter to me. their relationship with religion is their own personal life journey at the end of the day. the only thing i would want them to be flexible about are my own religious practices, since i'm a very spiritual person too. so i understand where you are coming from, to some extent.
What does "very spiritual" mean?
It’s hilarious when people say ‘I’m not religious but I’m spiritual.’ The two are inextricably tied, you don’t get one without the other
when I mean "very spiritual", I mean people who have their own belief systems or their own interpretation of their religion that isn't considered a "common" belief or whatever. there are also people who practice religions that I am not familiar with and wouldn't have many parallels to any of the major religions.
the comment was trying to capture a large breadth of different people's faith :)
It means they are hypocrites. It's 'new wave' to be spiritual but not religious. You can talk about them like they're different all you like but they are both halves of the same coin
Naw it makes her more attractive
Agreed.
Getting MS for what I find attractive in a girl. Cowards behind a screen man
Cringe
100% agree
Agreed
In hindsight, one of my regrets from college was not continuing to date a beautiful Muslim girl who was a couple years younger than me and I got really close with for a semester. It was just such a different experience compared to all the other dating I've done. I ended up getting wasted one night, got back together with my ex, and we just never spoke again. I've occasionally wondered what would've turned out differently if I'd stayed with her. She ended up getting married almost right after college I believe but never ended up working full-time which surprised me (she was in the business school).
Do you think the muslim girl would’ve gone out with you, and if so, how far would she take things you think (sex, etc.)?
When I say we got very close, we were dating seriously for a while and I took her virginity. Then I 180'd and went back to my ex to try things again. It was immature and kind of cruel the way I handled it in hindsight. College had a whirlwind of poor short-term and emotionally-driven decision-making.
Seen many Muslim male/female friends marry very young vs other South Asian communities (fairly rare to see them as single/not married at 30).
Did she marry a Muslim or out of her culture? Some Muslims only marry other Muslims (and may require the person they marry to convert - tend to be the religious type). However, there are Muslims that exist that are okay with marrying other religions (not requiring their spouse to convert) - these types usually drink alcohol and aren't very religious.
Ended up marrying a guy from the same country I think, but she wasn't super religious by any means. She didn't wear any coverings/hijab and her parents were either doctors or academics. She was quite westernized as college went on, had no issues with drinking or dressing a bit risqué when we went to parties. Never got the sense I would've had to convert for her to introduce me to her parents or anything like that but who knows, maybe she was just taking advantage of having more freedom coming to the US for college.
I would find it a turn-off if the girl is religious.
Reasons why? Voted most helpful but no one has explained why.
Lots of people are aethist and agnostic and wouldn't want an incompatible (religious) partner.
Because WSO is comprised of young, educated people who as a group are not very religious. As a result, you are going to have less in common with a girl who is religious.
A ton of reasons, I'd expect. In no particular order
- religious person might be less down to sleep with you early on, and in a community like this which is mostly 20-something finance types, that's important (it seems, from looking at thread topics)
- major one is that it's going to be a nightmare with kids. People who have had bad experiences within a religious group or who are genuinely agnostic aren't going to want their kids growing up in a religious community
- maybe overall animosity towards a religious group; personally I would find it hard to date someone who is still a practicing, believing Catholic, just the same as I'd not want to date a known pedophile. I also think the attitudes of Hasidic Jews towards women are pretty terrible, and wouldn't be comfortable with that either
- maybe someone doesn't want to spend a weekend morning in church/synagogue with their practicing spouse/significant other
- again, strictly in my opinion, strong religious belief is a sign of a soft intellect or will. Someone irrational enough to be religious, or with so little self-confidence that they need a religious support community, isn't someone I'll find attractive and I wouldn't want that person raising my kids
Probably lots of others, but those were a few that immediately jumped to mind
Because the only people who are attracted to religious people are other religious people.
Most people are not religious. Most people who claim to be religious ironically don't believe in their religion's principles (ie: no sex before marriage, fidelity, no birth control or abortion, live frugally, give to charity etc.)
I am Catholic but most of my gfs have been protestant or atheist. It is a different experience, especially when meeting her family and friends (who are mostly non-religious).
I consider it a huge turn off if they are super religious - the exact opposite.
if you've ever fucked a chick that was a witch you'd change your mind
you spelled 'bitch' wrong. Please fix.
I used to date a witch.
I wouldn’t date someone that doesn’t have a nominal belief in god but at the same time do not want a fanatic (believe me I know quite a few).
A true belief in the existence of God is extremely important because it makes a person conscious enough that their actions do matter and also instills a value in people outside of their pedigree (the soul). An easy example of this is why the pro-abortion mentality is strongly correlated with a waning in religiosity. If you do not believe in a person’s value at the soul level, then the fetus can easily be seen as a “nuisance” and not a person with a soul.
Im not saying atheists can’t have morals (some of my best friends are) but when we can into discussions about human life or inherent “value” discussion (even in finance-based discussions) it is easier for them to see people as an assumption in a model and nothing more. So I believe girls who really believe in God would have values that align with mine and treat me differently.
I want to point out that this is much different than simply being religious. I largely despise organized religions denominations and see them promoting cult like mentalities. Apart from this someone can easily go to church for social appearances or just to “go through the motions” without having a real belief in God.
So you’re saying that unless there’s an authority figure above you that demands you be moral or suffer the consequences, people can’t be moral? Doesn’t that mean you don’t believe in integrity at all? That people who don’t believe in God can’t be moral because we don’t have something keeping score on our morality?
I try my best to be moral but I don’t believe in God. I try to do right because it’s the right thing to do. I believe people are intelligent enough to reason out what is right. I believe integrity is the highest virtue a person can have because there is no gift for being right and no punishment for doing wrong, you do right because it’s the right thing to do.
Also your abortion argument is so dumb. No wonder you’re an IBD reject.
My main priority is not to find a moral girl but to avoid those who are devoid of morals. Both atheists and those who believe in a God who will hold them accountable can be moral as you mention but someone who acts with purely selfish intents no matter how much it hurts others simply do not have a fear of God or fear of coming consequence. It’s important to note that there are plenty of religious people who do not have a fear of God so using criteria such as “going to church” isn’t appropriate.
I think I've had this argument with this guy before, he doesn't understand that ethics as a branch of philosophy has been a thing for like two thousand years independent of religion.
I think it is all about believe systems as a whole which determines if someone is real SO material.
There are people who claim they are very religious and are despicable people who act immorally all the time, but do confession every week so they think they are fine.
Other people are agnostic or atheist but have very solid morals and are geniune good people.
Also i would argue that wokeism for example is also kind of a religion these days, and I think nowadays for people who are young in urban cities who have common sense this is a bigger problem, for me at least. That shit is a dealbreaker for me.
Regarding your religiosity point I agree wholeheartedly which is why I highlighted what matters is an internal belief in God. Using outward customs and traditions to measure that is faulty as you mention.
I think it's important to be with somebody who broadly shares compatible worldviews and values with your own. Religion is a very important aspect there since it's a set of values and obligations that inform your entire life
I am not religious and do not believe that I would be compatible with a religious person, since we would probably have very different viewpoints and thought processes that would inevitably cause big issues down the road
One thing I struggle with though is people who align with a religion but just completely act outside of the clearly written rules of the faith (e.g. the 10 commandments are mostly pretty clear cut)
This always amuses me, like Nancy Pelosi identifying as a Catholic and being an outspoken pro-choice advocate. You can't just pick and choose certain parts of your faith to believe in to suit your needs.
I consider myself to be moderately religious (Christian) but I don't necessarily demand the same from my partner. However I do want them to have faith in some (any) greater power. And I don't mean these "spiritual" dummies on IG with their tarot cards and angel numbers. I want my partner to believe in some sort of creator that is out there. They don't have to be Christian like me, but I do want my partner to believe in something.
The "spiritual" people are funny. Think that organized religion is for suckers and practice derivatives of pagan rituals - leftovers from organized religions of failed societies from a thousand years ago.
Yeah for sure. But what really gets me is how quickly that crap spreads on social media. All of a sudden everyone has those eye emojis and is an expert at reading tarot cards. They will literally just follow any trend that comes their way and use that to fulfill their faith - that's just plain weird.
Organized religion starts out good but over the years turns into a business that seeks solely to retain as many members as possible and greed and corruption set in. Having been to several different denominational churches I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve heard a preacher say that you’ll go to Hell if you don’t believe their interpretation of the Bible and how everybody is else is a false prophet. By downgrading the calling of everyone else he keeps people glued to his church so the money keeps rolling in. Even worse in poorer neighborhoods you will see “forced poverty” being taught as doctrine where money and education are taught to be grave sins. This keeps people poor and going to that same church rather than achieving a higher QOL and moving out. Then there’s the disproportional amount of time spent on giving and used an emotional appeal (“Wouldn’t you want to give everything to the Savior who died for you?”) to extract as much money as possible out of the congregation and line the ministers and administrations pockets (look at campaigns like the $1000 Miracle).
Except those pagan practices could very well be argued to be more democratic and less hierarchical than that which replaced it. Paganism "failed" because it didn't appeal to and reward politic elites to the right extent. Why do you think Christianity was a big hit? I guess partially because it told the poor they'd have some sort of reward for toughing it out in poverty their who lives, but it survived and thrived because it co-opted elites. The concept of divine kingship, that the social order was ordained by God, and tying salvation to obeying that social order... well, pretty easy to understand why kings and chieftains would be enthusiastic about promulgating that.
So the fact that we don't practice the Eleusinian Mysteries anymore has less to do with its merits as an expression of religious sentiment, and more to the fact that it didn't channel material benefits to the existing powers that were. Go back and look at which Christian sects get violently repressed and which are eventually coopted - the ones that are explicit that the poor deserve a better deal tend to be stamped out pretty hard, the ones that allow the continuing pre-eminence of princes and social elites do a bit better.
100%. Love how some triggered atheists MSd this. If you don’t agree with it that’s fine, but why MS someone because they have a personal preference? Just speaks to the degradation of values and morality in this country
Lol love angry these autists are. Lmao feel free to be atheist if you want, but you're seriously this angry that others aren't that you need to MS GoingToBeAnMD for his personal preference and then me for mine? What a bunch of losers
No way bro bring religious is a big red flag
How does 95% of people believe in God and somehow WSO attracts the 5%?
This is what I’ve been asking lol.
Really doubting this 95% statistic.
That is just a reflection of the high level of education and relatively young age of WSO people
Most likely due to higher education for this crowd. Most western countries with a decent education system in place have a much higher percentage of agnostics/atheists. Combine that with the fact that most of us have an education that is above average in these already educated countries, and there you have it. Wouldn’t be surprised if roughly half of colleges students in the top 50 schools are not religious.
This is a silly claim. You don't know who answered or what they meant when they believe in god. This is lazy.
ideal situation is if they were raised extremely religious and adopted the values taught to them but realized as they grew up that theres no such thing and all the stories they read in religious books have as much truth as harry potter
You might be looking in the wrong places
It matters. In fact I actively look for girls named Chastitty, Faith, Mary-Lynn. There’s just a biblical ring to them.
ChasTITTY?
Once there were two of them and referred to in plurals
Chastity…to the satellite stage
lol what town in Alabama are you from?
I consider it a turn off if the girl I'm seeing isn't my cousin/sister.
Yes, definitely. Not into hardcore religious but moderately religious is ideal
This chick I went to high school and college with was saving herself for marriage and religious etc. welp last I saw her she was boning plenty of middle aged bachelors that have probably had exposure to 100s of partners. Lol funny how that turned out
If you find a good girl who is religious wife them up immediately. They’re worth their weight in recent petroleum prices
100%. A good girl who's moderately religious is invaluable. Thankfully I know a fair amount like this in my community
Religion doesn’t mean a damn thing to me. I make a terrible god and there’s no way that I can follow a bunch of rules well enough to determine whether I’m good or bad. So I thank God (the Creator, Yahweh, Elohim, etc) that I don’t have to do that. All that said, following Jesus means everything to me. Difference is that religion is following a set of rules or guidelines to get to an end goal, faith in Jesus is acknowledging that you can’t meet those standards but that instead the blood of Christ, who DID, was spilled for me and that his sacrifice is freely shared with and for those how place their hope and trust in him. To the outside, it may look like religion but to the Believer, man it’s freedom. But it takes real commitment, work and sacrifice (a process referred to as sanctification) so is not for everyone.
So to answer the question, if you want a partner who has some concept of religion/spirituality that informs their moral framework then go ahead - I think it’s very important to have similar values long-term. But, imo, being “religious” is tiring and essentially just a Sisyphean task that makes you feel a little better about yourself. If that’s what you want then have at it but I’d suggest going all in or forgetting about it altogether.
You guys get to date?
I was thinking about a future hypothetical not a present state when I wrote my response to OP.
Personally it’s the exact opposite for me, it’s a dealbreaker if the girl is overtly religious. However I do understand where you are coming from as I too would like to have a partner who has her principles in place.
I just don’t care. It’s like asking someone their favorite fantasy book series.
I sometimes catch myself being disappointed that my gf is not religious, but then I remember I am a cynic piece of shit and she is a kind and loving girl with great trust in "fate" (essentially, she has the faith of a child). So I just resolve to be better myself, get her at least used to the idea of religion, and send our children to Catholic school (plus onto the whole sacramental journey, etc, obviously).
Haha where I come from may girls have Bible verses in their Instagram bios to signal that she's a "good girl." Can't say I've ever seen that one played out with girls at target schools.
Oh for sure plenty of people fake it on their social media and then hook up with every rando at the club. Personally I think (no I’m not a “boomer”) that online dating is stupid. Yes, it works for some people but it is far easier to craft a profile and image of being a “good girl” then it is in person. When you first meet these girls in person they pretend to be good but flirty, and the flirty characteristic (the red flag) is something that they have a much harder time hiding in person if you know them well. “Well” is important here because it’s easy to fake a few interactions at the bar and if you’ve all started dating emotional attachment sets in making it much harder to leave without a heartbreak so many will stick to it/think the girl will change (she never will) or excuse it away as playful girl in her youth (also mental gymnastics).
I love that WSO recently had several discussions on wanting to marry a girl with low body count...
....and now this anti-religion tirade.
Good luck finding an atheist with a low body count!
Yeah it's hilarious how angry these atheists are. Don't get me wrong, if you want to be an atheist that's up to you but it's amazing how triggered many of them are that some people prefer religious girls. Sad lol
I think the reason so many guys say this is they want a girl who isn’t into parties/casual sex because she genuinely doesn’t enjoy them. Not a girl who doesn’t partake in those activities because she is worried that some god will punish her.
Just calling attention to my username #facts
Yes, definitely. I'm not going to date a girl who's not religious, and thankfully that's worked out well in my own life with current gf. Some dating apps let you filter these days like Hinge or there are religious specific dating apps for major faiths in the U.S. like Christianity
OP, never apologize for who you are and what you believe in. This is a critical belief system / value system for you, it's totally fair for you to prefer that in a partner. I myself would only date a girl from my own religion & who shares my cultural values
Having a similar worldview is potentially the most important factor in finding a wife. Getting married and having kids is awesome, even if it doesn’t sound it at 22.
All you non-religious incels, I wish your future wife has 100+ body counts and her hair, legs, arms, boobs have been seen or touched by thousands of other men.
The only women worth dating and marrying are religious, preferably Muslim. Allah will guide me to the right woman.
We get it bruv, you're packing light. It's fine, it happens, but you gotta do a better job of hiding the insecurities because Allah ain't operating miracles here.
very based
I think this depends on your own personal religious beliefs. If you are a religious person (let's use a Christian as an example) and plan to marry later on in your life, I would find it very hard to believe that you would marry somebody who doesn't share the same or similar religious beliefs as yourself. Can you imagine the conversations you would have if you or your significant had an argument regarding heaven (or the afterlife) and who was going to be there and who wasn't? What about the arguments about going to church every Sunday and the occasional Wednesday and putting your kids in Sunday School and Vacation Bible School?
My answer may be too in depth if this is a question only regarding hooking up and one-night stands.
lol
Personally, I wouldn't rule out dating non-Catholics, but my future wife would have to be a practicing member of the Holy Roman Church for me to even consider marrying her. In that degree, I totally agree that it would be a turn-off in the search for a wife or serious girlfriend. However, if I fall "head over heels" in love with a girl of another faith, I will accept her conversion to Catholicism as a second option.
I think you have to consider dating and marrying non-Catholics. It could be your life journey to convert them. They are obviously interested in the Catholic way if they enter a Catholic marriage. Some people haven't had the exposure that you have had to the Catholic church. You have to respect their journey.
Your insight is always welcome, Isaiah. My godfather is actually the son of two Protestants who agreed to raise my cousins in the Catholic faith, so I can see that side too. I appreciate your reply and your views. Thank you.
Yes.
Man what a thread
I personally was raised catholic but was never particularly devoted. I am very intrigued by religion though, and am at least conversationally familiar with most of the more mainstream ones, just from a position of interest really.
I personally don't mind if someone is religious, partner or friend, as long as they aren't extreme with it. I have a huge respect for people's privacy to practice religion generally so it isn't a problem for me.
That said, if I was religious I do think that it would be very hard for me to date someone who didn't practice the same faith, or at least any faith. I imagine that would be a difficult thing to comprehend. Maybe that makes me a hypocrite?
I don't date people who strictly follow any organized religion. As a non-religious / agnostic person myself I don't want to deal with constant arguments with my partner about a faith that I don't believe in.
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