Broke up with my ex of four years four months ago. Just found out she got engaged last month.
Thought I was completely over it but that hit like a truck. Anyone else have any experience just dealing with a similar emotional situation? It’s just that an engagement seems crazy. No words really to process it.
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Maybe this is her emotional reaction to the break up? I’m totally guessing here as I don’t know the situation. Maybe she took it harder than you did and rushed into the engagement? Either that or there were things happening behind the scenes while you were together.
Going to assume I was being cheated on. Sucks to know as that is kind of humiliating and would never personally do something like that. But life is life and there’s a million more baddies
In a way, this is a blessing disguise. You can find someone better down the road. As for her, well if she did cheat that says a lot about her and about the guy she’s with now.
Totally winning mentality here. Agree she was probably cheating. It's on to the next one, no looking back haha not worth your time.
W mindset
We are on to Cincinnati (check it on youtube), that's the mentality to adopt for you
Seems like she’s jumping into something way too soon. Take comfort knowing statistically it won’t end well for her.
Four years is a long time so even though you think you’re over it, you still have feelings on some level.
The only thing that will help you process is time and exercise. And sleeping with a few girls never hurts.
Seems like a lot to extrapolate from a limited amount of data. Maybe she immediately fell in love - it happens. My good friend did this and is still married.
If you are 'falling in love' with a stranger in 3-4 months, enough to get engaged, then you aren't falling in love with them but merely the idea of them. Doesn't mean it cant work. Hell, arranged marriages work. But it's 100% bullshit.
Guessing OP was being cheated on either 'emotionally' or physically. She probably was at the very least talking to this guy in some capacity for quite some time. As for OP, it hurts - but this is great fuel to improve your life. As for OPs ex - either she's a cheater or an idiot (no one wise gets engaged that fast). Lose/lose
Jumping into something, fine. But what the hell kind of person proposes within less months you can count on one hand? And what the hell kind of person says yes?
Oh boy I was in the same boat. It's not an overstatement to say that it wrecked me when I knew about her new found romance.
Lmao. Worse, we were in the same facebook camping group and she posted about asking for recommendation on reusable tents that she and her partner gonna use for trips in South America and Oceania as well.
Had to remove her from my news feed since she blasted all the couple photo on fb.
After a while, I realised, the younger version of myself who felt in love with her, that guy is dead. And the younger version of her, is gone. Close the chapter and move on. At least I wasn't saddled with a bad marriage and a messy divorce, costed me a couple of months to recover. Anyway, lesson learnt.
Apparently I don’t know how to use the quote reply. Regardless, the younger self comment should be framed. +1
You’re completely right. It’s just blasted over socials and is hard for me to avoid, especially given the mutual friends. Thing is I’ve banged 10+ girls after we broke up and still couldn’t imagine anything serious with anyone. Happy to be away from the psychotic ex but still a tough pill to swallow, yanno?
I'm gonna defend her on this but tons of people just float in relationships with people who aren't really that great of a match but stay in them because they don't want to get out of their comfort zone and end up divorcing further down the line. It's for the better.
90% chance she’s a psycho, or was already banging the dude.
You more than likely dodged a bullet. I am assuming you are a relatively younger guy, and if so, you’ll be fine. It takes a while but you’ll be fine trust me. I was in a similar scenario, feeling shock, then seething rage. Today? Honestly don’t care at all anymore, wish her the best, as I significantly increased my income and rebounded stronger than ever
oh - one more thing to add. The post-breakup gym gains is a real thing. Use it now while you’re motivated af to help you get badder hoes. Not even joking
Every guy after getting broken up with (if OP is that hurt from this he was the one being broken up with) has like a 3-6 month window in terms of how to react to it. If you dont take advantage of that initial momentum and just wallow in self pity you are screwed.
I dont care if people say it's unhealthy - NOTHING beats going to the gym thinking about an ex. I use break ups for years ago still as artificial motivation, because to keep up with it you really need something to drive you. But you should also use that time to explore new hobbies since you have more free time, be social, meet others casually, etc. It really can be a chance to reinvent yourself a bit
I broke up with her. But was kind of mutual as we both felt we needed time to be independent/be our own people. That’s the hurtful part - just feels like a lot of lying, and also borderline humiliating with regards to mutual friends.
Used the break-up to gym, bang bitches, and secure top BB FO offer. Not doing badly and don’t want ex back. Just feels weird
This is terrible advice. You can’t use negative feelings towards your ex as motivation, you need to just process accept and turn the page. Find another girl
Lol, the guy was probably loaded so she secured him.
Ain’t no way that man ain’t rich
Don’t really think that’s a factor. She’s loaded, I just got FT at a top BB and have a wealthy family on the path to being super loaded. Still mind numbing to see, though
This is a lesson for you. If she cheated on you it’s because 1) you weren’t high quality / attractive enough for her and didn’t behave in the proper way 2) you weren’t attracted to her anymore.
From now on, become the version of yourself, so high value that any girl would be foolish to cheat on you, and also make sure to spend tour time with the right people.
On the other hand if she just met some guy and overreacted and felt in love, it’s out of your control. You’re not gonna get bac with her anyway so don’t think about it. Find yourself better girlfriend (or casual)
What? Straight incel talk with this high quality BS
many chicks are just crazy, period. Keep it moving
It’s called psychology. If you’re higher value than any other options, women won’t cheat on you. Not than it matters anyway because they separated consensually.
Lust is a helluva drug.
Either that, or she's pregnant...
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