Falling out of love with NYC
Hi all, posting this to get some advice from people who have gone through a similar situation.
This is my second summer in the city and spent a fair amount of time in it growing up. Up through college I always put NYC up on a pedestal but having second thoughts now. The more time I spend here the more I realize that this isn’t the place for me long term.
Things that are turning me away: lack of greenery, the chaos, how expensive it is, the abundance of homeless people, the amount of vain/self centered people I meet at bars/clubs, how it smells like trash everywhere, etc. (obviously there are many benefits as well but that’s not the point here).
Interning at one of the MM platforms and know that I want to stay in the HF industry long term.
Questions I have: Is it important to do a couple of years here first or should I move to a different city I like right after college? If it is important to be in the city after school, what is the necessary amount of time? Additionally, what are some good cities to consider if trying I’m trying to maximize opportunity, WLB, nice people, and nature?
Open to general thoughts on the situation as well. Appreciate all the advice in advance!
I mean, you're an intern, so I doubt your experience is truly representative of NYC.
Go live in Brooklyn near Prospect Park. It's cheaper, there is a ton of green space, less trash... all the things you complain about, more or less fixed!
My guess is you're idealizing living in a super expensive downtown neighborhood in Manhattan.... so yeah, you're going to have problems.
As far as vain or self-centered people go... welcome to the world. I don't care if you live on 57th street or in some dying town in Appalachia... people suck.
Yes, this.
Other then the "next to Prospect Park" part. East and north of the park are VERY different from just outside the SW corner.
100% agree. Hate when people only stay in Manhattan and then think they have had the whole NYC experience. Most native NYers who are responsible for the culture that is synonymous with NY, usually don’t live in city because we know it’s overpriced. I can enjoy all the features of Manhattan and I live 20 mins away in Brooklyn. Just my two cents.
Looool COOPE. That's what every bridge and tunnel person has been saying loll
I wouldn’t say Prospect Park is meaningfully cheaper than UES.
OP is probably living in an overpriced shithole in Manhattan. Shitholes in Prospect Park are just as expensive.
If you don't think the areas around Prospect Park are cheaper than then UES, then you really shouldn't be opining with this level of confidence.
The average listing for a one bedroom in UES, is $3,061/mo on Streeteasy right now. Compare that to $2,611/mo in Prospect-Lefferts Gardens. Perhaps we differ in what we define as "meaningfully cheaper," but a 17% savings is pretty substantial to me.
That being said, OP is clearly an intern who has never set foot in Brooklyn, let alone Queens or the Bronx. It's hilarious that he's complaining that his idealized fantasy version of NYC doesn't live up to the reality, despite the fact that he probably spends most of his free time at the Stumble Inn, and then is upset that NYC seems to be self-important other interns and people vomiting on the street.
live in nj, ct, westchester and take the metro north in. decent ammoutn of singles in white plains, stamford, and its cheaper. who cares about the nyc singles scene if you hate it there (95% of the country does just fine being young in their 20s living in suburbs and rural areas).
I take your point and mostly agree... but I think it's pretty self evident that the last part of this post is just wrong.
Altogether, I think most of your complaints are either solvable within the city or would still be true elsewhere, but there will always be tradeoffs in any city you live in, up to you if you think the pros are worth the cons. I do, but nothing wrong if you prefer it elsewhere - life’s too short to live somewhere you’re unhappy.
Some specific thoughts below
Maybe in some parts of the city, but you may just need to move closer to parks. Central Park and Prospect Park are some of the best urban parks anywhere, and there are tons of others dotted around the city. In particular, UWS (“between the parks” - Riverside and Central) and Park Slope are great for this, but tons of others fit as well
I wouldn’t really call it chaos… but at any rate this is also solvable by changing neighborhoods. Greenpoint, LIC, Astoria are all relatively affordable, accessible to Manhattan, and quiet.
No argument there… can be slightly ameliorated by moving to the outer boroughs, but no getting around the fact that it’s expensive here. This does get easier as you progress - I don’t think about expenses at all and still have significant savings / investments, but I’m several years into a buyside role.
To me, it’s paying up for something I want, same as I buy nice clothes and premium whiskeys - but of course that doesn’t make sense if you aren’t happy
No denying they’re there, but also neighborhood dependent. I don’t really see many in my neighborhood or near my office (both Manhattan), but I definitely do by Penn Station / PABT. I am thankful we don’t have the tent cities they have out west (and starting to see in places like DC and Florida)
I don’t think you’ll solve this one at bars and clubs in other cities… but you might want to change the bars you’re going to. Anywhere you live, meeting people through specific interests and hobbies is also almost always going to be better than meeting people at clubs
Trash pickup is a point of contention that we definitely need to improve… the city did recently debut new containerized bins, so it’s a step in the right direction
I mean, there are plenty of places around the country with a homeless problem. NYC just happens to be hyper-dense, and even within that context, most homeless people concentrate in a few small areas or subway stations, so they're even more noticeable. Drive around plenty of cities in Texas and you've got squeegee guys or people on the median of the road with signs up, too. I feel like every few months you read a story about the latest awful thing a place in Florida is doing to drive off the homeless, be it playing Baby Shark on public speakers all night or bussing them somewhere else.
As someone who grew up in The South and lived in both LA and NYC, yes people everywhere are superficial, but nothing compares to LA or NYC in terms of ego-centric people, especially the former
Lol may I introduce Miami and Dallas
I mean, this is fair, but it's because a lot of driven people come to those cities because they don't have opportunities in Charleston or Birmingham or wherever, and those are people who are going to seem ego-centric.
Also it's probably confirmation bias at work, a bit. The folks you knew growing up are the baseline, so you don't notice their kind of vanity or superficiality as much. Any time I've been down South and spent time out at a bar or other social place I've been shocked by the vapidity and superficiality of the people I've met. It's culture shock.
echo others are saying that you are too young to entirely 'get' a city at that age, especially one like NYC. That being said, it certainly isnt for everyone. And even most people that love large cities view it as a phase of life and eventually grow out of it. NYC is world class in a lot of aspects (career opportunities, meeting people, restaurant scene, night life), but it doesnt have much to offer in a ton of other areas (outdoors, space, a lot of hobbies you cant pursue there, COL).
A lot of what you need to ask yourself, and probably learn about yourself, is what you really enjoy doing and the type of life you want and move somewhere where it's conducive to that. At 21-22 there is probably no chance you know those answers though. So grinding it out in NYC for a few years at that age is hard to beat
To illustrate the neighborhood point, check out this summary I found - most of these areas won’t look anything like what you’re describing:
https://imgur.io/a/KoOicgl
This slideshow makes Bed Stuy look nicer than Tribeca lmfao
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NYC blows. I've lived here for 13 years. Pre COVID and Post COVID is night and day difference. The crime / violence these days is NOT NORMAL and do not let the leftist politicians and apologists gaslight you into thinking it is
Unfortunately, that's seemed to have happened in many of the other major big cities as well so what's the alternative? LA, SF and Chicago have all gone notably downhill since COVID too (all of them worse than NYC imo)
Basically move to the burbs if you wanna still be based here for work. WFH has made that more feasible with having to commute less than everyday
Miami is the obvious answer. The city somehow has become more aesthetic, more fun, more accessible with clean public transport, more work/business friendly, while somehow being cheaper post-Covid.
I don't know what Mayor Suarez/DeSantis did, but whatever it was has worked really well.
I lived in the city before COVID and live here now. The difference is negligible: crime-wise, culture-wise, or restaurant-wise (not rent-wise, unfortunately).
Once I hear "leftist politicians and apologists" -- it's a yellow flag, btw.
feel free to leave NY never loved you back
Start in Manhattan, live outside of it in Jersey (West New York, Hoboken, Jersey), save your cash and move to a fund in Miami. Ngl, I liked Boston, Colorado, and Miami waaaaaaaayyy better than NYC.
Concerning the crime, NYC has always had crazy crime. Before, it happened in the outer borough and far out neighborhoods. The difference now is that you actually see it happening in the more affluent/popular parts of the city like Midtown, UES, UWS, etc. Also, the subway crimes are highly publicized because the victims who have been high-income office workers at high profile companies.
I mean no not really. Statistically it was one of the safest big cities through the 2000s, after the Dinkins era ended. NYC started getting bad again with De Blasio, although so far Eric Adams has been doing better.
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