Anyone else dealing with/have dealt with apathy? Over the past couple months I have started to notice it more and more and trying to figure out the root cause of it. I'm sure there are people on here who have felt the same way. Just a few examples:
Work - I love the career path I am on and have been fortunate enough to have progressed quickly due to some great mentors I have had. In the past, I was passionate about my work and saw myself doing what I do for the rest of my career. Recently, I feel like I have been doing just as much to get by and I haven't been as invested and passionate about it as I was in the past. There isn't a tangible reason why at work or about the job itself that I can point to that explains why I'd be this way, beyond general apathy.
Relationships - I've been with my current GF for about a year. The honeymoon phase wore off earlier for me than for her, but we have so much in common/similar interests, and we spend a lot of time together trying and doing interesting things, so on the surface things should be phenomenal. Recently it seems like I notice her flaws first and can't seem to get past feelings that I could do better, despite never having been with someone I have had so much in common with and at one point was such a passionate relationship, especially when compared to my past GFs. I feel the same way with my friends, most of which are from school. Nothing has really changed other than seeing each other less than we would probably like due to work and relationships.
Hobbies/Interests - This is where I've noticed the apathy the most. Things I look forward to and get so much joy from (guitar, golf, movies mostly) I just am not motivated to pursue like I used to be. It feels like I have to force myself to do these things whereas in the past it would be just a normal part of my day/week. But when I do get around to them, I get the same joy I always have, I just struggle to motivate.
Just want to see if anyone has dealt with similar feelings. I assume part of it is just struggling to come to grips with maturing (mid-late 20s). And before anyone says it, I do not think I am depressed. I have been in the past, but this is a completely different feeling. Overall I am the happiest and most satisfied I have been in a long time, but for some reason have had these feelings start to pop up in the last couple months. Part of it is also being stressed/busy at work recently. Thanks everyone!
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I'd take a week off and reset yourself - go stare at a beach or hike a mountain without anything around you. Let your mind reset and just think about things. Go by yourself and purely disconnect.
You should also start putting together more goals and mountains to climb - I found that when I was done the 'standard' track where things are mapped out for first 25 years largely (school, school again, activities, first few years of a job, etc.) it can be challenging to find yourself and transition to you driving your life vs. anyone else. Many exceptions to this - but not uncommon for mid to late twenties to be challenging. It's a lot of change, a lot of decisions - and it's all really exciting once you can get out of your own head.
Look - everyone feels this way. Life ebbs and flows. Emotions oscillate. A few other thoughts on managing things:
- Schedule as much as you can so you don't have to think about it. Activities, work, dates - just do it. Discipline and time management doesn't make you boring.
- Journal. You'd be surprised how quickly you get out of your own head when it's on paper.
- Lighten up and let yourself be happy. I have a defense mechanism that when things are going well, I start to 'undermine' myself.
- Change it up every once in a while. Go try something new.
took the words right outta my mouth
do what this bro said bro
I think if you read back everything you wrote and focus on the several times you mentioned "work". i.e. XYZ would be great, but too much work/ not enough time, you'll have your answer.
You sound like you're experiencing burnout. (Which can lead to depression fyi.)
Agree with taking some time off, a week or two of vacation entirely without work to reset. Spend that time with your GF. You might find that when you're not super busy/irritated from work you get along with her better (or not, in which case maybe the relationship's not gonna work out but at least you'll know).
You need to get better at setting boundaries at your work. Alternatively, finding another job is an option. Better you think about it now while you have some energy than you overwork yourself to the point of being sick/ ruining relationships and then look.
Thanks guys for the post, going through very similar vibe. Late twenties, worked my ass off in school, grinded in NYC for a few years and got the buyside job back home (Midwest) where I've been for 3 years. Just getting very comfortable and complacent at work. Find myself increasingly losing my passion for finance/investing that got me here to this point. My current firm I am on path to be a PM/partner in mid-long term, the culture is chill, work life balance is great, I have a ton of autonomy. I am just not pushing myself anymore and don't have the drive to work as hard as I did. I have been trying to figure out how to the fire back.
Also was in a relationship that was going really great for the first 5 months to the point where we both thought it was LT material until it wasn't, the girl just went weird and pulled away due to some childhood trauma she has. Since that broke off a few months ago, I have this lingering insecurity of seeing everyone around me getting married/in serious relationships while I have been mostly single grinding on my career, but now I am at the point where I want to start that part of my life.
I feel like if I get that fire back it will solve paragraph two because when I was in the zone I didn't care about being lonely or whatever as much because I was a man grinding on my purpose.
Deleted my dating apps and taking a break from social media. Been doing therapy and trying to become more mindful. Later this week I am hiking in the mountains by myself for a few days staying in a yurt and going to leave my phone in the car. Hopefully this will help me clear my head and get it back like you guys suggested. Just feel lost here having accomplished so much but not sure how to get fired up again for what's next. Part of me maybe wants to go back to school or switch jobs, but more of me thinks that this is something I will get over with time and would then regret making a drastic move. Grass is not always greener
Nothing better than venting your high class problems on an anonymous message board
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