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Should pay/man up but you can hedge somewhat also. first couple of dates during the day -- active and inexpensive but enough to get to know ea other. then lounge/club/house-party with other ppl (have her invite her friends) and you invite your bros. Summer's coming so get her on a boat. Do all that and should be golden
If i choose the place, i take the bill (unless its super budget but i wouldnt take anyone there lol). if they do, then we split.
I have a nice way of splitting the bill, to keep my parents happy (long story, but dad taught me to pay for it, mum said split it - she doesnt like my girlfriends), I split it down the middle, i get pounds, they get pence.
It's more of a conversation piece than anything else. Can turn an awkward moment into something positive.
Man up and pay for the bill if you're taking a girl out. No big deal - case closed.
+1. You're a dude making good money. Pay for the woman.
Agreed. Some things don't need to change with the times. He who has the nutsack has the wallet.
HAHAHA - this.
If we are going out, like just the two of us, I always pay. Period.
I make the first date drinks at a nice place and happily pay, which lets you look classy without running up a huge tab before you know if you like the girl or not. I also pay for date #2 without flinching. At that point, she typically offers to pickup the tab for the next one or at least split. If she hasn't said something to that effect by the time I've paid for date #3, that's a major red flag for me.
Screw that, yea maybe the first few times you pay but if she becomes your GF then she will expect you to STILL pay everytime and for everything. You need to make it clear that this is a mutual relationship and at times she should pay, its not a free ride for her 24/7.
Look I have dated enough women some from very very modest means and some from very very rich families The girls from modest means on the first or second date ALMOST ALWAYS OFFER to pay or at least split the bill. The girls from rich families (i mean they are from another country and their family has bank there) they never ever ever offer to pay or split the bill.
Its funny how that works out. It also depends on their culture, if its Asian or Latin they expect you to pay but still depends on wealth of family.
If women want to be paid equally and treated equally in this nation than they better MAN UP and start paying for shit. I remind them all the time of this equation. If you want to be paid the same as me than you better be willing to pay for dinner etc.
*** Every woman I have said this to has NOT stopped seeing me because of it.
Obviously the above does not hold true for all women and it's not fair to generalize based on the women you've dated. That being said, it is a man's responsibility to pay UP TO A CERTAIN POINT. You have to be smart about it and not get taken advantage of. When the check comes and the girl makes no attempt to pick up the tab or offer to pay that is a HUGE red flag. Come on, you know I am going to pay but at least make some kind of effort to show you aren't expecting it. Some girls expect everything to be served on a silver platter, f that!
As expected this thread quickly degenerated into a 'woe is me' bitch-fest about the unfairness of making it rain for dates. Who the fuck is putting a gun to you guys' head to take them to lavish dinners and bottle service? It's overrated, over-the-top, and sets u up to look like a douche who spends mad cash in return for company. Think about it--The success of this strategy is questionable in a city like NYC, where there is always someone willing to pay more than you.
You should then differentiate yourself through other means. And to do so, conventional dates need to be thrown out the window. Do something else that doesn't put you in the position to pay large amounts of cash--you're the one choosing the date. Highly consider day-time options for the first few date, puts her @ ease
Durban, wanna know how I know that you're not getting laid?
Who says I was talking about paying for bottle service and lavish dinners? hahaha thats comical. I live in Dallas and while there are some really great expensive restaurants most of the places I take dates to the dinner costs no more than 50 bucks. These are really specialized places like greek food, lebanese, brasilian, persian etc.
Of course I even make the girl pay for those places. I dont dare buy a girl a gift other than flowers or a cute little stuffed animal or some other cool/different gift that doesnt cost much.
I also dont drink alcohol so never in a million years would i pay for retarded bottle service. The fucking club should pay me for being in there.
The "noble" thing: Pay
The "grimey" thing: Pay till she lets you beat it up. If you smash out and she catches feelings you can do whatever.
just sayin
I usually pay on a 1st date. If the chick is cool and I want to see her again, i'll just tell her its her turn next time (and it is, NYC aint cheap).
She can get half later so I give her nothing now
best comment ever midas,
^^^Agreed, actually quite surprised that some of you don't foot the bill.
On first dates how is this even a question?? Me and my girlfriend split everything unless I take her out on a date - in which case I pay.
Jesus. What's next? "Should I make my girl split the cost of condoms?"
"If I need to buy lube because she is not getting wet enough, should I be a gentleman and pitch in half, even though it is her fault and she should pay?"
Prodigy, why do you think the club should pay you to be there? Are you a hot girl?
Argonaut, that was a sarcastic joke.
LOL
Yeah man, you need to step up to the plate and pay for the date. It's sort of your role as the man. You don't have to go to crazy expensive places but you should pay for the dates.
this is so, so, so interesting.
It's usually the things that cost the least, that mean the most. Unless she's a GD.
I'm just saying....
and if she doesnt offer to pay even on the first date...that seems odd to me. Having said that, if you invite to dinner, you should pay, and if she's a keeper, she'll go out of her way to reciprocate, cook for you, take you out (if you can handle that) and many other things....
I'm not necessarily talking about you jmdude, but were some of you fuckers raised with no morals or manners? If you are on a date you pay for the lady, period. When you get to the point where you're seeing eachother exclusively, then you can work out a system where she chips or whatever.
Seriously. People on here are worried about making 200k+ and yet at the same time they are worried about paying for a woman's meal? Something is not right...
You should pay.
However, in my personal experience I've found you're more likely to have a girl try to stop you from picking up the tab on the first date. It took a while, but I've finally discovered the best response is something like, "I'll pay this time; you pay next time." Not only does it take the edge off, it sets things up for later. Then as long as you're paying a majority of the time, it's all good. '
The first date is an interview - treat it as such. Invite her somewhere that emphasizes interaction whilst minimizing personal expenditures. Coffee shop, classy bar, or something seasonal (skiing, boating, etc.). Pay for everything but don't decline if she offers to pay. Within 5 minutes I can determine if she is worth any of my cash.
Oh! I got another one: "The girl I am seeing doesn't live near a subway station and i have to take a taxi when I leave her house, should I ask her to pitch in for the transportation expenses?"
Generally I agree that a dude should pay. But then again I had a bitch who took, took and took and then gave me the cold shoulder. Not to disparage all women here.
took what?
My guess: anal virginity
I think u r right, otherwise he wouldn't have thrown monkey shit at us
Seems that way indeed
^^^^^hahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You only get one chance at a good first impression - make it count.
Sounds like she's the one that made it count.
I don't buy girls drinks at a bar, but if I invite a girl out on a date, I'm paying for it. Buying a girl stuff is viewed as supplication only if you overdo it (or don't do it right)...
^^
Truth.
I'm honestly struggling to see how some of these comments attracted so much shit. I'm guessing one of you poor sods told a girl she had to pay half because "its only fair" or some bs like that and in turn went home with blue balls?
Just fucking pay. Like it really matters. If some chick thinks she is "winning" but scoring a free meal she is really pretty pathetic.
I mean honestly, some cheap fucks out there.
yo people should man up and pay. if she doesn't offer to pay, yea that's weird. even so, i'd not let her pay. after all, a man is a man for a reason. later down the line when you're seeing each other, she prob would chip in once in a while. if she doesn't, she better not be making enough money or else i'd be worried.
Guy who asks the women to split the bill should not be allowed to date. Its not a huge deal but just man up. You invited her, you make good.
Only fair for men to pay while women make 77cents on the dolla.
OR...
you could try dating a woman with her own income and not worry about them being gold-diggers.
THIS
THIS AND ESPECIALLY THISi only date femme ballers, no admin assistants for me. and as such theyre usually more independent and desire to give into the relationship
fuck gender roles. and yes coffee first date (internet ftw) plus i can cook very well. i once cooked so well it laid me into a two girl 3way.
i pull like scorpion, GET OVA HEEEEEEEEEEEERE
Would you please put your experiences into context by mentioning the age and attractiveness level of these femme ballers?
It's not at all about paying for her to get her to go out with you...it's about respecting her and treating her like a princess, which is what she deserves.
Lol
also if youre in nyc and always paying to try to woo girls then yous most likely gettin played homeboy
i dont think i have to try to impress or woo a chick outside of just being me, personally. if i ASK a girl to come out to xyz thing or place or something then sure ill pay but if shes 'traditional' it aint gonna gets to poppin
Oh and yesterday I am making my way to lower east side from midtown and one of you dummies bought me dinner just cuz I smiled. Rahahaha! He actually ended up being nice and worth a conversation but still.
The only time I wouldn't mind if a woman paid was if we were grabbing a quick coffee to go. She may pop in while I am somewhere else or vice versa. I'm OK with that.
Do agree that paying too much can be trouble, but its easy to to figure that out. If you still get played after that, you have no excuse.
Pay to play, brotha.
Gosh, I cant believe some ppl still strugling to understand the most basic rules of dating.
You only pay the meal on the first or second date, or third date at most.
Afterward you dont have too (if your dick is as big as porn star and made her bleeding for days). If not, keep on paying those goddamn meals to compensate some lacking in that department.
Get it?! Sheeshh...!
gallery ftw
Just because it's funny: http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_dF1A4uMQRZc/THs9JZZrLfI/AAAAAAAAAFk/okB1IuFrw…
ok..so what's next ..if you bring me flowers..next time i bring flowers for you! if you get me a cab next time I get you a cab and make sure to tuck you in before you go to bed...and if we do have sex....does that mean next time i need to bring a strap on?
As the most interesting man in the world would say:
"When you pay for just yourself, you usually get what you pay for"
+1
Love those commercials.
I can't believe so many of you are validating the thought that you have no chance with a girl unless you pay for her
It's not about the money, its about the game..
No one is validating that. I think the point is that if you ask a girl out, you had to have some sort of idea as to how the date will go. Whatever you plan, you would want to make sure it goes smoothly right? So I take her to a fancy restaurant, everything is going well and according to YOUR PLAN but the conclusion is not a second date but you asking her to pay. Come on man, its quite simple. Its a system.
Its interesting though. Mostly in the UK, the date culture doesnt really exist. I prefer taking a girl out for an date rather then meeting her at some classless club that, frankly, you dont what you're doing there in the first place.
it also depends what you like, if you like skinny white chicks then probably wont like what i tend to go for and date -- my first serious gf was brazilian so ive been into the dark hair dark eyes and curves.. latin girls black girls asian indian.. dark haired whtie girls with curvature..
Join the club shorttheworld! I have been to Brasil 4 times :) As well as Colombia, Bolivia and Peru. Dark hair and dark eyes is what I like. Also Middle Eastern girls are awesome especially Persians but watch out for their temper.
my ex is the cousin of the current girl thats on the bachelorette and they look similar except my ex has dark hair
LOL @ men asking women to help them pay the bill. Stop being so Yahud.
edited since thatll PROBABLY make someone emo
But wikipedia is totally inaccurate, so what do I know?
i also want to know how many of you go on dates that only go a couple of dates and then youve been chumped and she stops replying/cuts it off saying 'dont think itll work'.
dating in nyc is pretty fail since everyone is a serial dater for the most part, especially for girls. a lot of girls i know think 'dates are fun i like meeting new people!'. but thats a whole other topic
anyone want to combat that fact?
the 'if you pay for yourself you get what you pay for' comment validates putting cash out. true ill say if i have a LEGIT full interest in a girl then ill take her out but not going to be her perma sugar daddy -- but the majority i wont really have that full intrigue for
I agree on your last point, but that fits in with your first point. I think you have to be a bit perceptive when it comes to women as well. You ought to know where you're at with a woman after the second date. Unless she's a closed book. I wouldnt want to keep forking out for this girl if all she wants is a free meal and fucking hates me. Put it this way, I would pay for the first two dates. After that, if I feel nothing, I wont call her again so the question doesnt arise.
Vs model curvy or Kim kardashian curvy?
Black and Latina femme ballers? This story is getting more and more statistically improbable
VS models dont have ass therefore i dont understand how they are considered curvy except for being top heavy. kimmy k is amazing.
lol there are some argonaut but there are def just 'smash squad hoodrats' that have existed lol
Short, you and I have similar tastes in women :)
I like something you can grab onto, not one where all I grab is bones.
my first serious girlfriend was brazilian and then i dated a large breasted italian girl who had no ass after. i was saddened.
Oook, dude. Thanks for clarifying. Lol
Btw, curvy refers to waste-hip ratio, not the biggest ass.
Yeah, I agree, but u made it seem like the ones u get the action with are femme ballers and not hoodrats. (if u r dating ur ex's cousin - regardless of what either of them does, they are hoodrats, no offense)
the girl on the bachelorette isnt a hoodrat LMAO and im not dating her lol i was saying that my ex's cousin is the girl on the bachelorette now
curvy means she has assssss and titties assssssss and titties (insert hotdamnirock asssssss and titties reference). a girl who has no assets but a wide waist and hip doesnt mean shes curvy AT ALL. pretty sure ethiopians starving and just showing bones are curvy by that definition
My bad, I somehow misread ur message to mean that its ur current girl. Lol
Well actually waist to hip ratio is determined by hormones and signals peak fertility. Ass and titties don't signal shit, and with current implant technology aren't even real a lot of times
pay for the first two - she pays 3rd time. then alternate.
Man up. If you can't afford it then don't date. The main reasons to pay for it is to show you are confidant and show you care.
When the check comes, see how she reacts.
If you pay for dinner, suggest she pay for drinks afterwards, etc.
I love it when girls say they forgot their wallets. I then proceed to say I forgot a condom.
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