God Hates Poor People

This story is probably better suited to a Bonus Banana, but it made me laugh so hard I had to do a full-blown post about it. This is one that is gonna have the torch and pitchfork crowd howling with rage.

They say the lottery is a tax on ignorance, and for the most part that's true. But three Connecticut asset managers have proven that there's a right way to play the lottery. Timothy Davidson, Brandon Lacoff, and Gregory Skidmore, all of Belpointe Asset Management pulled off the near impossible by winning the $254 million Powerball lottery with the purchase of just one $1 lottery ticket they bought at a gas station.

Let that sink in for a minute. Guys with $82 million under management throw a buck across the counter at a gas station and cash out $254 million. Not the single mother short on rent. Not the tubby schlub in the wife beater who's played the same numbers for $25 a week for 30 years now. Nope. Millionaire Connecticut asset managers who decided to gamble 33 cents each.

Naturally, they took the lump sum payout rather than the payments, so that dropped the amount to $151.7 million. Then they get whacked another $48 million in taxes. But they still skate with a cool $100 million free and clear. The ticket was purchased by Davidson, who I'm guessing is pretty excited he decided against the Slim Jim right about now.

There's something so obscenely not right about these guys winning, especially on a $1 pick six. The odds were a staggering 200 million to 1. I just can't even imagine what a horse's ass I'd be if I were one of these guys. I'd blow that dough on the dumbest shit you'd ever heard of, and I'd have a camera crew following me around the whole time.

Maybe that's why I've never hit the lotto.

Somewhere Randolph and Mortimer Duke are smiling.

23 Comments
 
GoodBreadMy strat has always been to put down a buck anytime the jackpot exceeds the odds. Pretty hilarious.

Same.

Read the comments on the article for the lulz.

- Bulls make money. Bears make money. Pigs get slaughtered. - The harder you work, the luckier you become. - I believe in the "Golden Rule": the man with the gold rules.
 

Unless they cheated somehow, they won it fair and square. There have been plenty of down-on-their-luck folks who have taken home the lottery prize.

Metal. Music. Life. www.headofmetal.com
 

Awesome. I love that the first thing these guys do is form a trust to collect the winnings and hire a lawyer.

looking for that pick-me-up to power through an all-nighter?
 

God I have no hope for society:

"More evidence that the the game is rigged in favor of the rich."

"For he that hath, to him shall be given: and he that hath not, from him shall be taken even that which he hath."

"This story sums up our times. Bankers win lottery. Poor to receive cuts."

"Bankers win the lottery. The bad news keeps coming."

 

Eddie, just for fun why don't you tell us what would you do in case you won something in that order. I hope you play the Euromillions jackpot.

 

I have to agree its a fluke. I can see a few guys that work together throwing a few bucks in for a ticket or two on lark way before I can see these guys sitting in an office trying to figure out some way to game in the system.

If I had asked people what they wanted, they would have said faster horses - Henry Ford
 

Did they split one ticket? Why are they splitting the winnings?

looking for that pick-me-up to power through an all-nighter?
 

I think part of the reason I've hard to work hard for what I have is that I'm not mentally equipped to deal with windfalls. It becomes an issue of survival. I have no doubt that I'd turn self destructive instantly, like seeing if I could drink a whole barrel of Gosling's by myself or something. If the shackles that keep me tethered to reality (like a wife and kids who depend upon me) suddenly didn't exist (not them, if their needs no longer existed due to a ridiculous abundance of wealth), I really don't think I could control myself and would probably revisit some of the trouble from my youth.

 
Midas Mulligan MagooLol. You beat me to the story, again. The funny thing is that there are allegations popping up of them jacking some client's ticket and squeezing him out of the winnings. Hostile takeover if I ever saw one.

Heard something similar to this except they were actually just claiming the winnings for the client (I assume in return they would manage the client's money).

"For I am a sinner in the hands of an angry God. Bloody Mary full of vodka, blessed are you among cocktails. Pray for me now and at the hour of my death, which I hope is soon. Amen."
 
Midas Mulligan MagooLol. You beat me to the story, again. The funny thing is that there are allegations popping up of them jacking some client's ticket and squeezing him out of the winnings. Hostile takeover if I ever saw one.

Read something similar on Dealbreaker. DB claims that a client won the jackpot and made the fund managers claim his winnings so that the guy did not have subject himself to the public ire. I mean seriously, those guys did not look happy to be collecting that check.

http://dealbreaker.com/2011/11/connecticut-powerball-winners-go-the-ext…

 

Shit, i'm getting ready to ask them for a donation to my charity called: Help a brotha Out Foundation

"Kept feeding him dollars 'till it all started to make cents."
 

there is nothing statistically exceptional about an exception to the mean. People win the lottery every day. These guys had the same chance of winning as everyone else but just get more publicity. It's called selection bias

It is better to be vaguely right than exactly wrong - JMK
 

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No one would remember the Good Samaritan if he'd only had good intentions; he had money as well.

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