Going to bars alone?
So I realize as fun as it is crushing a few beers or shots with my friends, our schedules realistically line up like 1x a month at best working these jobs. I like time to sleep in when I get the rare chance these days, but sometimes I get the itch to go out in the world and maybe try to meet a lady friend. I feel pretty confident in how I carry myself but just have never really tried going to a bar alone except when travelling abroad. Do you guys ever do this and how has it worked for you?
It's called growing up/getting old.
Try it out it won't hurt and with time you will probably love it more than hanging out with your friends.
I just turned 24, feel like I should still be at the point where friends always want to go out together but yea the friends in relationships rarely make it out (and they're the ones I actually like going out with).
I’d say go for it, not tried it myself but as you get older and all your friends get into serious relationships your group will get smaller.
If you do nothing about it (i.e. get new friends or a gf) you will have a lot of ‘quiet weekends’, which might not be a bad thing depending on your personality.
I am having the quiet weekends now and I don't like them at all lol, need to go meet people
I think this works better if you go to a bar that is relatively more chill rather than one that resembles a busy lounge or club but ymmv
i did this and it’s how i met my ex gf. Totally would recommend it. Good experience overall and for some reason i always have better luck w girls when I go out alone.
Was she with friends? How did it go
How do you get started? Just sit at the bar? Feel like my natural inclination would be to look at my phone at first but that's prob not what you want to do
Yeah just sit at the bar. It helps if you're a regular and have good rapport with the bartenders.
I do this all the time. I started going to bars alone when I moved to a new city for banking. It felt weird at first but as I went more it's gotten relaxed and fun. I'll even do weekend trips and hit up the bars alone. I've met some cool friends and have had fun experiences that I never would have expected.
The trick is to go into it with zero expectations and just enjoy yourself, the rest will come. Stay off your phone and smile to look more approachable. You aren't the only one there alone, many others are trying to make friends too. It's just tough to break the ice.
Tf are y'all doing alone at the bar though?? Sipping on your beer while staring into the void??
find cute girl, observe for a few minutes to come up with how you should tailor the conversation, go up to aforementioned cute girl, chat, see what happens
Girls ain't going to bars alone and groups usually aren't open to outsiders. You sure you got experience in that field or you're just A/B testing ideas?
I feel comfortable doing this when I'm with at least 1 of my friends, but you manage to make it work alone?
Most bars have TVs, and you can go on your phone until someone strikes up a conversation with you. Surprised you have never done this. It's called living life, man.
As someone who loves going out alone, my advice is to bring a book or a magazine. Going out and sitting there with some false smile plastered on your face is gonna look weird. Go to a bar, order some food, and do you. It's way less threatening and people (including women) will be drawn to that.
I spent years going out with friends trying to meet someone, and it was very hit or miss and certainly wasn't good for anything but hookups. Now I'm married and enjoy getting out just to have some time to myself, and inevitably some woman tries to strike up a conversation with me. Never rains but it pours.
For the love of God, don't bring a book or a magazine to a bar. haha.
To each their own! Not that I'm looking to meet anyone, but even if I was... sometimes you don't see anyone worth your while. At that point, a book can come in handy!
I've done some solo travel and gone out alone. On its best day, you get in with a fun group and have an awesome night, on its worst you're basically just doing a series of short-term cold approaches.
My tips: pick a bar where you can actually hear yourself talk, something too clubby is bad. You want like 70-90% capacity... full enough that there's a good atmosphere, not so full that you have to shove past people and you're crammed in a corner.
If you're trying to bro down, easiest way is to just weigh in on (or start) a debate with a group of guys. If you hear a Lebron v. Jordan conversation, you have to be on that like white on rice. Honestly the more opinionated / controversial you are the better, because it provides a hook and makes you more memorable... not the time for a nuanced take. Sports bars are excellent for this bc you have something external you can weigh in on.
If you're trying to chase tail, you can run your classic pickup playbooks. Easiest is to start with a girl that you're maybe 1-2 points more attractive than on the 1-10 scale because her guard will be a bit more down.
In general, you'll have to initiate these conversations unless you're doing something especially outlandish like wearing a weird outfit or ordering some absurd drink. If you smoke, having a pack on you or bumming from a stranger is also an easy way to strike up a convo.
Username tracks
A few years ago, as a fresh 22 y/o, I drove my car from California to Virginia, stopping in Little Rock, Memphis, Nashville, and Richmond. Keep in mind I was fresh out of school and COVID was a thing - but in the South, no one cared. I'd park my car at a hotel and hit the bars solo - made a dozen friends in every city and had life long memories. I actually think about it pretty often - will say, more of my friends were men than women, as they weren't as comfortable with folks from out of town.
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