Hot Girl Diaspora

Out of the 100+ SA at my firm this past summer, the only hot girls (all 4 of them) in the class either went to other banks or didn't get a return offer. This is depressing because now I will be stuck looking at tall, pimple faced losers and super basic nerdy chicks for the next 2 years. Any similar situations?

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Best Response

is this serious? you're depressed because you don't get to see "hot girls" at work? i don't know you, but you seem like the epitome of a beta male. grow some.

 
"ItsTheSoggyBottomBoys" Out of the 100+ SA at my firm this past summer, the only hot girls (all 4 of them) in the class either went to other banks or didn't get a return offer. This is depressing because now I will be stuck looking at tall, pimple faced losers and super basic nerdy chicks for the next 2 years. Any similar situations?

You could supplement your daily routine with a hot chick physical trainer.

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee
 

u gotta move to megafund PE brah those guise takin down all the hottiez

I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
 
ConnorI'm preeeeeeeetty sure this is a troll post...

The op is obviously a troll post. Allow me to respond accordingly:

Hot girls love bad boy rockstars. Ergo to enhance your Sex* appeal thou ought to appear at Arlenes Grocery for their Rock n Roll Karaoke! every Monday and Friday no fail starting tonight and belt out your best impressions of the Crazy Train, Highway to Hell, Born to be Wild and Pour Some Sugar on Me. Or if you live in Chicago, Stanley Pubs and Kitchen in Lincoln Park has a similar event every Sunday.

If you keep doing this for a few months, the girls will be all over you. But by then you will be too absorbed into your newly found Rockstardom to care much for them.

*(and drugs and Rock n Roll)

Too late for second-guessing Too late to go back to sleep.
 

I know this is probably a Troll post but rofl

Tommy Too-toned

It's scary. My analyst class doesn't smack a thing.

I'm starting to realize that the correlation between my excel skills and mack game isn't exactly strong and positive, and something's gotta change.

Do I need to be a Tiger and drive to an Upstate Denny's?

I want to be able to show up in Barcelona, Montreal, Melbourne, or Kyoto and say, "babe, i'm cool, you and me - let's do this".

 

I can count on those Harvard and Yale grads texting those chubby workhorses from rich families.

Shit, i have all this dough - I'm a mega-fund PE guy. Oh wait, fly girl didn't even take a second look.

Those Point Dexters are the reason I want to leave banking. I was never a geek, but hangin' around those guys, gosh, talk about a path to bad sex.

My stats:

Don't matter

 

Above average troll, I'd say B+.

[quote]The HBS guys have MAD SWAGGER. They frequently wear their class jackets to boston bars, strutting and acting like they own the joint. They just ooze success, confidence, swagger, basically attributes of alpha males.[/quote]
 
SonnyZHAbove average troll, I'd say B+.

Thats well below the academic average here.

Follow the shit your fellow monkeys say @shitWSOsays Life is hard, it's even harder when you're stupid - John Wayne
 
swagonthey all drunk at my mansion party bro

i can attest to this..we had my album launch at Swagon's last night...bitches were Wilin'

I eat success for breakfast...with skim milk
 

I mean seriously, what's the pre-pre-MBA path?

violin lessons > chess club > math tutor > yale > excel > excel > smokeshows

Don't think so, unless Rosetta Stone teaches the language of love.

Damn, i hate fat chicks. Who the hell would want to go to Harvard or Yale and then to Microsoft Excel?

Have they ever popped a cherry? Geez, call the doctor, Johnson ain't wakin' up

 

Gotta be an entrepreneur yo. Thanks for helpin' me out WSO.

But if I get into a top 10, what are the exit ops? Can i get blondes and brunettes post MBA? And after that, can i get into a Corporate Strategy group at an F500?

What if I want to eat lunch at a cafe on Saturday? Shit, i gotta do Excel.

Remember, IB + MBA + PE = cruisin'. Oh wait, it don't cut it no more. Zuck's stackin' 50 bills.

Watch me shine monkeys

 

Only way out for OP stick to excel modelling -> become a rainmaker -> models & bottles :)

Simplicity is the highest form of sophistication ~ Leonardo da Vinci
 

I applaud your choice of username, you gay, gay man.

"You stop being an asshole when it sucks to be you." -IlliniProgrammer "Your grammar made me wish I'd been aborted." -happypantsmcgee
 
D MI applaud your choice of username, you gay, gay man.

Was that directed at me? If so I am glad someone got the reference. Justin Long made that movie with his 5 minutes screen time.

Too late for second-guessing Too late to go back to sleep.
 

An instant classic, my favorite dialogue:

Brandon: I'm an actor. Zack Brown: Wow! That's really impressive. Brandon: Thank you. Zack Brown: Fucking movies? Brandon: Fucking movies. Pretty much. Zack Brown: Look at you! Anything I've seen? What movies? Brandon: Oh, all sorts of movies with all-male casts. Zack Brown: All-male casts? Like "Glengarry Glen Ross"? Like that? Brandon: Like "Glen and Gary suck Ross's meaty cock and drop their hairy nuts in his eager mouth." Zack Brown: [stunned] ... is that like a sequel? Brandon: Sort of. It's a reimagining. Zack Brown: Oh, like "The Wiz". Brandon: More erotic. And with less women. No women, to be exact. Zack Brown: I apologize in advance if I'm out of line here, but are you in gay porn? Brandon: Guilty as charged.

A classic, one for the ages my man.

"You stop being an asshole when it sucks to be you." -IlliniProgrammer "Your grammar made me wish I'd been aborted." -happypantsmcgee
 
D MAn instant classic, my favorite dialogue:

Brandon: I'm an actor. Zack Brown: Wow! That's really impressive. Brandon: Thank you. Zack Brown: Fucking movies? Brandon: Fucking movies. Pretty much. Zack Brown: Look at you! Anything I've seen? What movies? Brandon: Oh, all sorts of movies with all-male casts. Zack Brown: All-male casts? Like "Glengarry Glen Ross"? Like that? Brandon: Like "Glen and Gary suck Ross's meaty cock and drop their hairy nuts in his eager mouth." Zack Brown: [stunned] ... is that like a sequel? Brandon: Sort of. It's a reimagining. Zack Brown: Oh, like "The Wiz". Brandon: More erotic. And with less women. No women, to be exact. Zack Brown: I apologize in advance if I'm out of line here, but are you in gay porn? Brandon: Guilty as charged.

A classic, one for the ages my man.

A classic indeed, my friend! I hope Justin Long can do a spin off movie based on this character. That would be awesome. Now you better shut your mouth or I am gonna f... it!

Too late for second-guessing Too late to go back to sleep.
 

lmao I agree 100%

"You stop being an asshole when it sucks to be you." -IlliniProgrammer "Your grammar made me wish I'd been aborted." -happypantsmcgee
 
Tommy Too-tonedillest cats in the game. I was at Swagon's party, remember? We tripled up on that little blonde thing by the pool
she loved that Eiffel tower dawg
 

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