Can’t stop thinking about how I’m eventually going to be nothing - just dirt in the ground. It’s a scary feeling and makes everything feel pointless. I honestly wish I believed in the afterlife because it would make things so much easier.
Anyone else struggle with this? How do I make it stop
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You wish you believed in the afterlife? Come out of your BUBBLE and research the supernatural.
I suffered from this over the summer. I don't have much to say and it's not going to be what you would want to hear but just live every day like it's your last and enjoy the ride. There is no knowing of what's to come but even if there is no afterlife then what's so bad about a long sleep... Also, studies show this is a more common thought among young men compared to women and the idea of death fears us less when we get older.
Fuck it we ball
Yes we do. You only live twice.
Why is it scary? Have you really examined your own feelings on the matter? Would living in some eternal prison be that much better than just going to sleep?
And why should everything be pointless? You'll leave behind a lot - people you've impacted, whatever you've accomplished... don't sell all that short.
You make it all stop by having the humility that the world wasn't put here so you could walk upon it. Once you understand that you're not the main character, that all of this doesn't exist for your benefit, that the world will keep spinning with or without you, you'll be happier and a better person.
Maybe this isn't for the Real Estate thread?
Real estate is the only existentialist philosophy you will ever need. It'll forever be tangible.
I’ve seen it bruv
When I worry about this, I just focus on pleasure and enjoyment during life for meaning. Alternatively, when I have it, love is meaningful.
What (sorta) helps me with this is thinking about all the time before I was born - did I care that I didn't exist? Of course not, and it will be the same after I die, I won't be here to care about it. It only impacts me now via my mindset, which is (somewhat) in my control.
If you find it's bothering you consistently over time, I would see a therapist. These thoughts are completely normal, but that doesn't mean we can't see someone to help us deal with them.
This is it for me too. Plus, you are doing a "death free trial" every night. You just won't wake up when it's the real thing, and you won't care or even know it happened.
I'm excited for the afterlife.
name checks out
Calm down, Hezbollah
I often try to remind myself that if I’m thinking about something similar to this (that’s way down the line/completely out of my control) it usually because I don’t have enough on my plate in the present.
What I mean by this is that you should try to develop things that you care about now and that you enjoy doing. A lot of people struggle with finding purpose in life until a later age. (eg. when they have kids or something)
I was in a bad spot a couple years ago and often found myself having thoughts like this. I discovered that surrounding myself with the right people, picking up new hobbies, and doing stuff you enjoy is really important and can change your outlook on life quite significantly. Essentially I started caring a lot more about what I had in the present and less about stuff out of my control.
This doesn’t mean that you should be ignoring your thoughts, rather try speaking to someone. I would reccomend a professional, you would be surprised on how much you can learn about yourself just by talking to somebody. If therapy isn’t your thing, try family or even a friend who you think is a good listener and which you enjoy spending time with.
Not sure… how is the next turn coming along?
Feel like thebrofessor would have some really good advice on this, think he’s talked about death a little in the past.
thanks for the tag. OP, this is something about which I've thought very often. in brief, I find solace in faith (I'm Catholic), stoicism, and being in the present moment
to begin, I believe that depression is malaise about the past and anxiety is worry about the future. sure that's an oversimplification, but I'm being deliberate with my word choice here, because just being "sad" could mean you are in the present moment. when you dwell on it and play shoulda coulda woulda, that's depression and you're spending too much time about the past. if you worry if you're going to make something of yourself (in the future), that's anxiety and both rob you of the present, so watch that carefully, it's an easy trap to fall into.
I'll address my faith the most briefly because it's not my job to convince you to become Catholic, but I think what faith gives is helpful. regardless of whether or not you believe God exists, having faith in something bigger than yourself takes away a lot of the anxiety about death, illness, old age, time passing by, because you realize that this is not all there is. further, faith is not an act of blind trust, it's a constant work, a constant conversion to belief, and I believe there is something magical not just in believing, but in practicing one's faith because I've found that is the stuff that makes life great. I'll pause this here because I could ramble on but basically because I believe in my heart that this is not all their is (I'm being deliberately vague because what I just said applies to pretty much everyone except nihilists), death is not the end. I don't think you have to believe in heaven, nirvana, or an afterlife to get that, the universe will keep on going after you're gone, so be glad you're here for a brief bit
stoicism next, this one could be the longest. the essence of stoicism is knowing how to comport oneself in a world of uncertainty and chaos. by realizing what is within your control and focusing your efforts solely on those things, you can find peace. I am going to die someday, that is a fact over which I have zero control. I can ruminate on that or I can do some of the things I've talked about elsewhere on WSO (spokes, writing my eulogy, bucket lists, die with zero, 1/5/10y plans, etc.) and make life a challenge, because I do have control over my reactions always (even if I were to be wrongfully imprisoned for life) and mostly over my actions (I can choose to do nothing or do something, this is kinda like buddhism's right action virtue), and that's very freeing. so I would challenge you to think longer term, don't avoid the issue, do some of those exercises and instead of approaching it from a point of fear, do it like this: say to yourself "one day I will die. I do not know when that is, but I'm going to make the most of my time on this rock." and then go from there. for me, this began with writing my own eulogy so I could identify the types of things that are most important to me (family, faith, charity, positively impacting others, erudition, so career success and materialism). from there, I then kept asking myself how can I obtain those things and I had a laundry list of ideas. from there I got down into daily repeatable actions I can do. here's a quick example. I want to be healthy so that I can give more than I take so I will exercise X times per week in this way, I want to be a good family man so I must always keep in mind the amount of time I spend working and how much that will take away from my wife (and God willing children one day) therefore I will not attend conferences unless there is a demonstrable significantly positive impact to my business without taking away from family, I want to be erudite which for me means being fluent in multiple languages so I will begin doing X at this frequency to obtain that goal.
notice those are all things that are within my control. part of why I think that stoicism works is because while I acknowledge things outside of my control (e.g. dying family member, business troubles, I then focus on what can I actually do about it? if your focus shifts to that, you have given yourself agency, which should lower your anxiety, and give you the calm you need to deal with that which is outside of your control
being in the present moment is easier said than done, but it can be trained. when's the last time you really admired natural beauty, got lost in a book/song, lost track of time when conversing with someone on the phone or in person, laughed so hard you almost peed? create as many of those moments as you possibly can, and because the business models of social media require constant attention, this may require a detox. anecdotally, I left facebook insta & snap (back on X to follow theologians & some thinkers I enjoy and it's much more controllable content than the others, plus bc it's just words for my feed it's helpful) and it helped this. read physical books, this requires attention. work on something that is difficult and takes time, that will help train your attention. cook your own food as much as possible, things like that. additionally, prayer. praying, reading scripture, going to liturgical services all help you be in the present moment, so I strive to do this as frequently as I can. unfortunately, this may require you to completely change directions with your career to get that agency back (ergo leaving investment banking). maybe not, but for some it's impossible to have enough time for reflection and good sleep with certain finance careers
in closing, no one is really OK with death, because it's scary. but I know that in order to have a good death, you have to have had a good life, so get out there and do the best you can
happy to answer any follow up questions
I think you would like this book if you haven't read it already.
Abandonment to Divine Providence: Jean-Pierre de Caussade S.J., Sr. Mary Mark Wickenhiser FSP: 9780819808769: Amazon.com: Books
I can't wait to meet my Heavenly Father in HEAVEN, and to sit at the right throne of God. I can't wait to hug my grandma after she passed during a slow 30-year battle of fighting cancer. I can't wait to see my dog again, a friend I needed during a really hard time in my life.
If I did not have my faith I would be scared, but I trust in my Father. What I do on earth has meaning because of what will occur after it.
Walk with Christ. Faith is believing without seeing. Knowing, not hoping.
I hope that I’m over it by the time I die, because I wouldn’t be able to worry about it after even if I wanted to.
One thing I like about prayers and death is written in the text of the "Hail Mary." "Pray for us now and at the hour of our death." If you prayed Hail Mary's for yourself or others they all 'hit' that last hour. How magnificent.
The only thing given in life is death.
Life itself isn’t even given. You could’ve died in the womb.
Nihilistic, I know, but this is the only infinitely true statement.
Accept the reality, either way it isn’t your choice.
You think the fact that you have die means life is meaningless? It’s actually quite the opposite - because we have to die, we cherish each day we have on earth as it’s a finite resource. There is no value without scarcity, there is no beauty without ugly, there is no life without death
I had a similar spiral when I was an analyst and learned that my sudden awareness and obsession over dying was because I felt like if I died that day, I would not have died doing exactly what fulfills me - so then the journey became how do I quickly get to the activity that I feel like not only fulfills my own pleasure, but deeply serves as many others as possible so that I feel like I left this shithole on earth a smidge better than how I found it? That is what the journey of life is about - you care about dying because you feel like you haven’t truly been living yet.
I think we also underestimate how long life truly is. Like yes in the grand scheme of a historical timeline, we are only here for a blip of time but think about just how much you changed from ages 0-20. If you are blessed you get to go through that transition another 3-4 times. If you really want to think about it, we live many lives over the course of one journey, try to take up hobbies that slow you down and keep you in the moment of where you currently are. Practicing mindfulness, meditation if prayer isn’t your thing (for me, prayer helps), journaling even if it sounds trite, pick up volunteering or mentorship of younger humans - do something that keeps you alive and aware of each day passing by. Don’t forget that reaching old age is a blessing and not guaranteed, so remember: if you do make it to old age at all, you have actually already won in life!
I find this feeling freeing.
Nothing you do is really consequential/matters therefore don’t stress too much and try to have some fun purely because fun is fun.
I find this feeling freeing.
Nothing you do is really consequential/matters therefore don’t stress too much and try to have some fun purely because fun is fun.
Read (or watch YouTube's or whatever) about people's regrets in their final days. Most of them involve not having taken advantage of all life has to offer, whether that's spending more time with family or taking that big risk you were afraid to take. I figure, do whatever you can to avoid those regrets and maybe facing death will be less hard.
Watch the film/documentary After Death (2023) about near-death experiences. Tons of interviews with real people. Read/listen to hospice nurses--they all believe in the afterlife because of crazy things they've seen. Search: "final words of famous atheists" and some of them are nuts.
You are going to die whether you learn to cope with it or not. Better to focus on things you can actually control - i.e. how you live your day to day life.
Dying is just going back to the state you were in before you were born.
This is theologically false.
If you want to believe in a 2000 year old fairy tale, more power to you, but you don’t have to push your views on other people. He’s entitled to his view just as much.
“By the sweat of your brow you will eat your food until you return to the ground, since from it you were taken; for dust you are and to dust you will return”
Genesis 3:19
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Honestly once you have enough major medical events or near death experiences, you really stop giving a fuck and just enjoy life more.
My dad dying in his early 60's definitely imprinted this into my mind. No use grinding your whole life only to succumb to the effects of the grind and miss out on the entire "chill out and enjoy your success" period.
I had a full blown existential crisis about this around a year ago when I developed (what turned out to be a minor but could have been major based on symptoms) health issue.
People have been thinking about this for centuries, so it is useful to go off them. Pursuing pleasure and happiness is fine, but can’t be everything IMO, as many people in finance think it can be. It’s so short term. Suffering and pain is coming for you and everyone.
The only way to solve for this is to pursue something which will get you through life’s pain and suffering as well, something more meaningful. Have a family, build meaningful friendships, find a religion that works for you, try and donate or volunteer for a charity, do something in your career that’s meaningful. You can do anything, and you see lots of people trying to find that thing in life, but you have to do something.
Take a bunch of DMT and ask the elves.
Have you spoken with the machines? If so, what did they say? I looked to see if you had written on this topic before, but I don't believe you have.
It's not quite that simple. Would recommend doing it yourself if you're interested, other people's testimonies don't really do it justice. DMT's not dangerous.
Being conscious of your mortality should give gravity to each and every moment. It should both give you urgency and a sense of contemplation. Study the term memento mori and how stoicism deals with death
If you want to fixate on the inevitable, go ahead, but don't be surprised when all you get is elevated resting blood pressure levels. Why would you fixate on something that is guaranteed and can not be prevented?
Your post reads as someone who has never actually had a near death experience, and therefore you are just worrying about something that is not probable to occur for a number of years. I have had multiple near death experiences, some quite close, and there isn't a single day where I waste any of my time or energy worrying about when my time is up. My near death experiences make me appreciate the smaller things in life, not worry more about how much time I have left.
If you are so stuck on the thought of impending death, I would recommend you instead focus on maximizing your life span. Quit IB, the amount of stress from the job is objectively taking years off your life. Exercise more, eat healthier, drink less, sleep more.
If you are looking for someone to coddle you and tell you that you have nothing to fear, read the 100s of replies from the Christians spamming this thread, LOL.
I wouldn't say you have nothing to fear, hell is a real thing to many, but I agree with your view that your actions and what you choose to do today have the largest effect on your sense of wellbeing, physical and otherwise.
“How to come to terms with dying?” It’s actually simpler than you think:
(1) Become religious.
(2) Simply stop caring.
These are the only 2 answers. Humans have felt exactly what you’re feeling for millennia. Yet the answers to your question have remained unchanged.
In summary: Either research religion further, or decide that you don’t care about the fact that it’s all finite & “meaningless” (and instead focus on finding a way to create your own meaning, and using your short time wisely). Ideally, you can do both simultaneously.
(3) You are the universe experiencing itself.
You will be recycled into the cosmos, enjoy this arrangement of molecules while it gives you consciousness.
(3) You are the universe experiencing itself.
You will be recycled into the cosmos, enjoy this arrangement of molecules while it gives you consciousness.
.
depending on the viewpoint, that could be rolled into (1) and personally be part of (2)
(3) You are the universe experiencing itself.
You will be recycled into the cosmos, enjoy this arrangement of molecules while it gives you consciousness.
(3) You are the universe experiencing itself.
You will be recycled into the cosmos, enjoy this arrangement of molecules while it gives you consciousness.
(3) You are the universe experiencing itself.
You will be recycled into the cosmos, enjoy this arrangement of molecules while it gives you consciousness.
(3) You are the universe experiencing itself.
You will be recycled into the cosmos, enjoy this arrangement of molecules while it gives you consciousness.
(3) You are the universe experiencing itself.
You will be recycled into the cosmos, enjoy this arrangement of molecules while it gives you consciousness.
Nietzsche in shambles rn.
Thanks for the MS. "You must make your own meaning" falls under whichever of those categories you prefer, #1 or #2.
Would love to hear your in-depth Nietzschean viewpoint on the matter, if you have one to share.
Everybody dies. What comes after is not your concern, its God's, and it is a matter totally out of your control. What comes before death is life... and what is done with yours is entirely in your control and will have the greatest influence on you when you are dying.
Its important to note that life and death are equally important and beautiful. The ancient greeks often said that the God's envy us, for we are mortal, and as we live...every sunrise, every laugh, every kiss...could be our last. Mortality gives a certain shade of beauty to living that cannot be granted to the God(s) in their own immortality. Living a good life is the most enviable thing a God can hear about us. Living a poor life leaves them with distaste with us. Whether you believe in heaven, the afterlife, or reincarnation....even if God(s) themselves do not exist, this understanding of why mortality and scarcity of days is beautiful, holds strong as stone as it relates to the human condition.
To truly understand how to come to terms with dying, I recommend you visit those more experienced in the matter than we. Go and visit people who you know are dying or in old age and ask what they think made their life worthwhile and whether it makes their impending passing on an easier pill to swallow. If you personally do not know any peers to learn from, visit or volunteer at a nursing home and find someone who is happy and content with their old age. This is important, as the lessons on life and death that a well-minded elderly person in touch with their own mortality can teach you are more valuable than any comment found here.
From my limited observations...How you feel when you are dying is a direct reflection/culmination of what you did with your life that gave it meaning. From my visits I found having passion, meaningful work, family bonding, giving to your community... all of these are very important aspects of living that others will remember you by and come to identify you as a person worth remembering. Living on through the memories of others makes you, in a sense, immortal... and suffering through deaths doorstep becomes a small feat in comparison to the feats you achieved in life. Let us not forget, that when interviewed, people who had the luxury of briefly dying and coming back most commonly say.... when they died... their life and relationships passed before their eyes on the way out.
As a personal example: I witnessed my grandparents (who were my step in father/mother) and my single mother all die within a short 2 year period. One from demensia, one from a heart attack, and my mother from lung cancer complications due to covid. I cannot tell you all their thoughts when they were dying, but I can tell you.. when they were on their death beds, hearing their accomplishments spoken by their respected peers and seeing their family and friends come together and laughing with them and even sometimes laughing at their own misfortuntes, follies, failed adventures and expense made their suffering easier to bare.
This especially rang true when I witnessed my grandfathers passing on from demensia. My grandfather had forgotten most of his adult life and his own accomplishments due to his illness. Very often he could not even remember who his family members and friends were when we were present. Even though he always remembered his deceased wife, my grandmother, he was often stuck in his childhood, forgetting he had children of his own with her. This mental fog often caused him to become irate, and he needed to be reminded of his beautiful life after leaving the family farm continuously to bring him back to peace. I would regularly go to see him and watch him go from sad and suffering (not knowing who he was and thinking he was useless and easily forgotten without his wife) to being strong and resilient in the face of death when i would mention my favorite memories with him, what I thought of who he was, and how important he was to me for what he had done for me and his family/others. Those talks with him was probably the most important lesson I learned in life so far. Reflecting on it now, A life well lived it seemed, in whatever fashion holds importance to them, made the thought of their own mortality and final days easy to grasp with strength instead of suffering.
With that said, my only advice is to reflect and find what drives you to be happy and feel worthy of having lived. Your mileage may vary, but a life blessed with good work and good intentions, free of regret and full of passion, meaning, and connection with those around you is often all you need to have the burden of death feel weightless on your shoulders.
One book that really changed my understanding of suffering and death which I recommend to everyone is "Man's Search For Meaning" by Viktor Frankl. Its a short read, but very deep. In short summary, it is a reflection on the authors time in a concentration camp during WWII and focuses on holding on to hope,meaning, and humanity in a terrible situation. It is perhaps the most influentual short read I have gotten through. If you are really struggling with thoughts of your own mortality, I strongly suggest you start with that book and visiting the elderly/dying. After that, you can move on to other more enlightening routes like reading the bible/torah/koran/bagavid gita or the greek/egyptian myths and philosophers. My personal favorite philosphy (although I am still learning and my studies of them will probably never end) is Stoicism. My favorite of which are Marcus Aurelius, Seneca, Epectitus, Lucius and Cato the Younger.
Hope this rant helps. Live long and prosper and may God bless.
Your comments resonated with me and my experiences. Thank you for sharing.
All the “I’m excited to meet Jesus / nana / whoever” in this thread is irresponsible and cringe. If your worldview boils down to “the next chapter is what I’m really here for” you’re not only wagering on what might be your one shot, you’re abdicating what should be your responsibility to the here and now, which you should be tending to (and not just in order to get divine payback in Providence).
Criticizing someone over their religious beliefs that most often positively service the good of all society is even more irresponsible and cringe as you put it. Furthermore your reasoning behind it seems very elementary and poorly informed.
It doesn't matter one way or the other if you are religious, so long as you are doing good for the world to the best of your abilitiesyou are on the path of the righteous that will bring you peace in your death. I would surmise you don't know much about Jesus or religion in general to make such statements. I also think its easy to be an atheist in the modern world, minus being in a combat zone, because modern society has no real hardship or crisis to face until they reach old age. Its easy to be an atheist when you aren't watching people next to you die unexpectedly. There is no impending doom or plague for us, no calamity or true crisis in our otherwise easy lives to ask "why me".
Most of society today is atheist... only 40 something percent are admittedly religious, but most soldiers admit to being religious at a staggering 73%...for good reason, being a soldier is a hard life where your friends can be lost in a heartbeat that often makes one ask "why me" or "why them". There is also no coincedence that religious people donate more to charity and volunteeer more than their non-religious peers by 25%.
Jesus's teachings, for instance, are that the kingdom of heaven is here on earth in your heart and mind so long as you strive for salvation. Salvation is attainable in the here and now so long as you maintain the path of the righteous and sacrifice your life to live selflessly by The Beatitudes. We each have our own sacrifice to make, our own cross to bear for our community and society (which is the kingdom of heaven in a physical sense). The afterlife and reincarnation are just an afterthought of what the teachings are really about; low hanging fruit meant to ease the suffering of those who lost loved ones unexpectedly and are struggling with the meaning of life in the face of losing those close to them, as well as to cater to the simple and selfish (which most of us are) who may easily fall astray without some promise of future gain after death.
Granted, I would also say that reliigious texts have been corrupted by those who rewrite and translate them (king james bible etc) to force compliance and control thought and populations. But deciphering original religious texts like the Coine Greek New Testament texts can still teach you much you need to know without having to learn the hard way through experience and suffering. Dont take religious texts literally as absolute dogma and you won't be dissappointed. The key is to read between the lines and understand the points the author was trying to make and how the author meant to better society by writing it.
Example:The original Coine Greek version of the New Testament said God was "logos" and "logos" was with God. Logos to the greeks meant order and reason. This meant God was divine order, cause and effect on a universal scale that we can never comprehend fully. However it was changed to "the word" to make kings and popes who were "annointed by "God" the sole authority over his kingdom here on earth. It is a corruption of the true faith. When you take the time and effort to begin to understand texts like the Coine Greek New Testament and the Dead Sea Scrolls and the Ethiopian Torah (rumored to be the least adultered/corrupted of current Israelite texts), you may come out with a very different view.
However, regardless of whether an afterlife is real, religions like Christianity teaches us that a life well lived, curries favor from your peers, society, and a higher power (logos,divine order and reason; Hashem, YHWH, God). Living life well and achieving salvation requires us all to carry the cross of righteousness and suffer to raise up your brothers and sisters here and now and in the future. This is the base teachings of Jesus and all Abrahamic faiths (Christianity, Judaism, Islam, Hinduism). God, Hashem, Brahma are all different words to describe this "divine order". Following good works and order and reason brings about a "kingdom of God" in society, while embracing chaos and meaninglessness leads to a pit of dispair often described as "hell on earth". Its like the Dark Knight; Batman (wilful suffering for society) vs Joker (embracing chaos and turning on society) on roids. In fact, all modern superheros are based on these time tested ideas first ennunciated by old religions and myths.
Final Inference: The entire Christian faith as well as the core tenant of Islam is based on figuratively carrying the weight of your own cross of righteous suffering in service of said divine order and to wear your crown of thorns without contempt for those who have hurt you. This is why many Catholics have necklaces with a cross on it hanging near their heart, to remind them that walking the path of the righteous (the path of Jesus; saviour of Christianity and Islam) for the good of humanity does not stop until death. Regardless of whether you consider yourself religious, atheist, or agnostic...its hard to argue against that core message and foudnational belief
Im not against religion or religious people. Theres a big difference between religious people like yourself who conceive of their faith on a philosophical, moral and historical level like an adult, and grown ass men who unironically believe (like children) that the bearded man in the sky has got it all covered and therefore there’s no real consequences.
OP is asking the right question, the one which leads to sobering contemplation about our time on Earth and how best to spend it and invest ourselves. He comes here for advice on THE question of life and is being told by a bunch of idiots that it’s all good and life’s just a video game where you go back to the lobby at the end (but only if you believe their particular storybook tale, otherwise sorry dummy, enjoy the lake of fire).
I don’t respect this kind of religion. It’s just childish bullshit perpetrated by people with weak minds on themselves and others in a facile attempt to convince themselves that we won’t all be worm food one day soon.
I have no issue if people prefer not to think too hard about death and do mental gymnastics to avoid contemplating memento mori, but the unfortunate reality is that the same idiots who help themselves to these mental band-aids go ahead and try to inject their bullshit beliefs into every facet of the real world we live in, and this shit I just cannot abide. An atheist has never tried to force their idiotic ideas into my mind and home before, but boy have I seen a ton of that from well-intentioned dopes who are just positively certain that they’re going to meet Jesus soon (and I can too, if I just join the cult).
Fwiw, I am not an atheist. And I’ve seen enough death firsthand to wish that they’ve gone to a better place where I can find them again someday, but asserting that they have full stop is just not serious.
This is obviously untrue and pretty fucking dangerous.
There is no good deed or thought a religious person can have a non-religious person would not. There are many, many deeply unethical and evil things that religion excuses that non-religious people would find morally abhorrent.
Criticizing, or at least interrogating, people for their religious beliefs is a duty and a necessity, not "cringe". We should all seek to understand ourselves, to justify our own actions, to always be thinking about how the things we do and think impact other people. Most religions are little more than an abdication of that responsibility, a way to stop doing the hard work of self-examination and self-improvement in favor of the warm, stultifying bath of paternalistic authoritarianism in which thought and responsibility can be abandoned in favor of mindless obedience.
I have struggled with it OP. I realized one night in my mid 20s what it really meant to die someday. It was like the paint had chipped in my reality, and the more I picked at the spot the bigger it got. I have never been an anxious person and for a while, maybe a year, I was unable to stop thinking about it constantly. Dreading it in the shower, on my way to Brooklyn for some show. It was relentless.
You need to find your own answer to these questions but here’s mine, and it has brought me comfort. First off, rest easy knowing that you know nothing of substance, nor does anyone else. Man’s concept of reality is incomplete and will never stop being so. The smartest among us will never achieve more than flawed models of the reality they’re trying to map, which is not to denigrate the pursuit of knowledge, but to respectfully acknowledge its limitations. The vastness of what you’re contemplating is so inscrutable that even the most learned men millennia from now will have barely scratched the surface. In that sense, anything is possible, including the subversion of everything you fear in some nebulous sense today. The universe you live in is a physical manifestation of infinity as a concept - it is the set of all things and the subversion of all those things. Nothing is impossible.
And if you are coming to terrifying grips with philosophical materialism, I would posit this. Time is an illusion, it doesn’t exist. There is no arrow you are on, pointing towards the past, the future, death, a hereafter or a lack thereof, a point in time where you don’t exist ever again.
There is only matter and energy, both of which are embodied in you. Our best understanding of this matter and energy is that it cannot be created or destroyed, and “the universe”, or the set of all matter and energy, is infinitely exploding, expanding, cooling, contracting and exploding again. Look to the seasons around you, the movement of the cosmos, and see that everything is a cycle which comes back again. Time is nothing more than the substrate through which matter and energy flow in patterns. All of creation is a snow globe, shaken up and settling as we speak. And given infinite time, one thing is certain - no matter how unlikely, the probability converges to 100% that we will find ourselves shaken up in this same configuration again. But that would be a misnomer, because the contents of the snow globe never changed, and we were never really gone.
Don’t work a soulless job that takes up 80 percent of your waking life lmao
probably the biggest takeway and something that I'm now struggling with myself after thinking about OP is going through. Generally speaking, your job takes up a huge part of your life, so the question whether you view it just as a way to pay for the other things that matter in your life, or whether you change your career to something you believe in/enjoy more.
Come to terms with dying ? WTF ?
Life itself is overrated. Are you really that in love with the 8 billion sewer rats that infest this rock in the form of a 2-legs-2-armed bipedalling modern ape ?
90% of the people I met are trash and garbage. And I've only bonded with 10% of that 10%. And then even then I retained another 10% of said relations.
Get real dude lol. "Come to terms with dying". This world is nothing but a jungle of sewer rats trying to find their 15 mins of fame or a buck. We're all on this rock not from choice but an involuntary consequence of birth and it's war since then.
This is like a mosquito writing an article in a pond going "how do I come to terms with dying" and expecting other mosquitos to give it some ground shattering intellectually rich answer. You don't even deliberate on that. You were nothing more than a biological evolutionary accident on this rock in a galaxy of rocks that never mattered except inside of its own self-grandiose head.
I was waiting for a real life Rusty Cohle comment . Let me guess, you are great at parties.
It’s going to happen to everyone and every thing, and there’s nothing to be done about it. Why worry about something that’s a fixed factor of existence? So many other, inarguably better things to think about.
not me – I'm not planning on dying lol
Someone's an optimist
Not to get too deep, but my mother died when I was 5 years old. That changes a person, and you grow up FAST. That's the moment I understood that nothing in this world is permanent, and we're all going to die. Since then I've seen a lot of death in my life. I've tragically lost many friends and family over the years so death has been a normal part of my life.
I've seen people give all their material possessions away on their deathbed because it finally hit them that it's useless junk that they're not taking with them because they're going to be dead in 4 weeks. I've seen people's kids squander their assets. All those homes they bought get foreclosed and cars get repossessed shortly after their death. I've seen the impact that people have had on the lives of other people who you wouldn't expect when they show up to the funeral (you don't need money to touch someone's heart). I know a celebrity who won many awards, who has parks named after them who will die shortly. All those accolades and it's his family that is there for him now - his family.
I've learned to understand that nothing in this world is permanent and the ONLY thing that matters in life is what you take with you and what you leave behind. That can mean anything to you. If you're a man/woman of faith then learn to truly understand your faith because the only thing you're taking with you is your soul so you better get right with whatever higher power you believe in (for me it's Jesus). If you don't believe in anything then try to understand why you believe that and truly find peace and come to terms with fading to black and disappearing into oblivion.
What do you leave behind? What's your legacy? That can mean whatever to you, but you should spend some time to figure that out. Are you going to leave the world a better place than you found it, or are you just going to live selfishly and be forgotten like you were never born? What impact did you have on the lives of people you interacted with directly, or indirectly? The feelings you evoke in others will live on long after you're gone. You don't need to be wealthy to leave a legacy. A legacy is more than "generational wealth." Keeping your life in perspective with your death allows you to truly live.
This Bible chapter changed my life when I first read it. I always keep it in the back of my head.
"Ecclesiastes is a Wisdom book that explores life from a pessimistic perspective. While Proverbs proposes salient points of wisdom to be followed, Ecclesiastes exposes the utter futility of human life without God."
I have been researching NDEs for a little while now, and while there is a huge spectrum of experiences reported, one overwhelmingly common theme is that whatever is waiting for us on the other side is an instant 10 million times upgrade over what we are enduring here on this surly planet. This isn't a religious comment, just an observation.
So while I'm going to stick around as long as I can and give this life my best damn effort, I am also somewhat excited about what happens after. Sure, it's scary and unknown, but I think it's a little exciting to think about too.
My uncle had an NDE after he was pronounced clinically dead a couple of times. He said he went through a white light and his dead brother told him that it wasn't his time and directed him to turn back. I've researched a lot of NDEs as well, they're all different. Some of them sound fictional, but you can tell some people aren't lying and believe what they're saying. The theme I've noticed is that life is a test/school. Whether God is going to judge you or you're going to go through some sort of life review where you judge yourself from a higher perspective, what we do here matters in a way that we have to live right because we're going to be judged in some way. It should be interesting.
Thanks for sharing - I love stories like these. What your uncle heard from his brother is consistent with what many hear. Fascinating.
I agree completely that what we do during this life matters.
I think it's more something you come to terms with over time. When you're 20 its a scary thing, and maybe later in life (I'll let you know when I get there), say 50,55, 60 you start to see it. But I'm guessing you somewhat comes to terms with it.
I remember in like 8th grade I though about all the stuff I would have to do for college/job and thought I could never figure that out, but a lot of that stuff was in my head, and once I got to that point I was able to figure it out. Not saying you can figure out death, but it's a natural part of life, you had to give up being a kid once to become and adult, and this is just the next step.
At the end of the day, just make sure you do things you want to do. Sometimes you have to do things you don't want to do, and thats okay because that's life. At the end, you may have not had all the experiences, but you had enough experiences, some can't say that.
I tend to approach things in a pathologically systematic way, and my answer to this question is no different. I will resort to analyzing the differing systems of thought people have and what the implications are, and given that the United States has historically had a high proportion of the population identifying with Christianity, I will analyze the impact on the Christian for each ideology provided that it were true.
1. If what the Christian believes is true, then the Christian is promised some variation of paradise which is better than current existence and certainly not worth dreading.
2. If nothing exists, then a righteous Christian would comport themselves in a way which was conducive to a decent enough life on the Earth. Following basic commandments like not stealing, killing, lying, coveting or committing adultery avoids many of life's ills. The Christian is annihilated at the end and lived what life they could, which is acceptable.
Now, proceeding from order of prevalence:
3. If Muslims are true, then most Muslims would call the Christian religion "shirk" and would say that the Christian has made partners with God and is therefore destined for torment. Other Muslims shrug their shoulders and say they are not sure. The consensus among Muslims that Christians will be punished is less uniform than the consensus among Christians that Muslims will be punished. This is the first outcome that is really capable of being dreaded.
4. If Hindus are true, then torment is never truly eternal, and is always commensurate with crimes or sins committed. As long as there is ultimately a reprieve or future reward, torment is tolerable. This is not worth dreading.
5. Buddhists have similar views of torment to Hindus in a reincarnation sense. This does not seem to be worth dreading either.
6. Chinese folk religions, Taoism, and Confucianism believe in Diyu, which functions similarly to the other Eastern religions.
7. Sikhs believe that both reward and torment are attainable on Earth depending on the ego and the soul. At the end of life, one simply merges back with the Universe. This does not seem to be worth dreading.
8. Jews believe that Gentiles who live in accordance with the Noachide laws have a place in the Olam Ha-Ba or world-to-come. Complying with Christianity and not eating crab will generally have you in compliance with this. I don't eat crab, for the record. This could generate some more issues than some of the others I have mentioned, but I personally live in accordance with these principles and have no issues.
9. Ignoring much smaller religions with scarcely any adherents, the only other religions of note are the ones from the past which have largely died out. The ancient Greeks believed that people became shades, darker versions of their mortal selves. Few if any mortals ever went to Tartarus, which is one of the closest analogues to the Christian view of torment across any of the world's religions. The ancient Egyptians believed that wicked people were basically instantly annihilated and didn't exist any more, which is basically tantamount to atheism anyway. The Zoroastrians believed in a purification process of torment, so tantamount to some of the other Eastern religions.
To summarize:
1. Either Christianity is true
2. Islam condemns the Christian to torment
3. Atheists are correct and everyone is going to be annihilated anyway
4. Some other religions are true, but they pretty much all involve some temporary purification and then either a neutral or positive existence
I think that narrows things down quite a bit when you think about it...
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