How often do you respond to your S/O if you're not on a live deal?

For banking analysts and associates that aren't on multiple live deals, how often do you respond to your S/O's texts when you're in the office? I know he's on his phone monitoring his emails all day long but he won't reply to me until he goes back to his apartment. Is this normal? It makes me feel like absolute shit.

27 Comments
 

-

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee
 

Ok deleted 

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee
 

Depends on how much sex you have with him. You could not text him if you give him lots of blowies, he won’t even care. On the other hand, if your’re lacking in this, I hope you’re texting him quite often. 

 
[Comment removed by mod team]
 

There is more than enough time to reply to a quick text every few hours - midmorning coffee, lunch, dinner, bathroom breaks... Even in your busiest times you still have to send deliverables back and forth all the time, so you've got 30 min or so waiting on your associate to tie the numbers or VP to sign off. Banking is a busy job but you are very rarely grinding away from 9am-2am without a single break.

Not responding for 12+ hours at work sounds more like his issue than the job

 

I mean it depends on the context - not messaging at all for 12hrs+ does seem extreme (given as others said you will always have downtime).

However particularly during my IB years I would try to minimise the time on messaging/WhatsApp during office hours - not that I wasn’t allowed to, but it’s very easy for you to get “sucked in” (don’t mean it in a bad way) to convos, and before you know it 15-20 mins have gone by. Ie if the person responds quickly and then you reply and get chatting.

Also it’s possible that while he gets downtime he might be mentally shattered if working on something particularly onerous/intense. In which case he might just want to read random news/sports articles online for the downtime he has to “recharge” mentally (again just speaking from my own experience)

 

Maybe a contrarian opinion, but I personally hate texting and use work as an excuse to not be responsive all the time. There are certainly enough windows in the day to shoot back a quick reply, but I would rather have a real conversation in person / on the phone later in the day instead of a drawn out, half-assed conversation over text throughout the day. I also find during work there is enough multi-tasking to do without needing to juggle a text conversation too

 

Maybe a contrarian opinion, but I personally hate texting and use work as an excuse to not be responsive all the time. There are certainly enough windows in the day to shoot back a quick reply, but I would rather have a real conversation in person / on the phone later in the day instead of a drawn out, half-assed conversation over text throughout the day. I also find during work there is enough multi-tasking to do without needing to juggle a text conversation too

Well it also depends on the relationship.. LTR or wife get VIP treatment. Tinder girl #19483 will get a Snapchat when I get bored 

 

Seconding this for OP to see. It could be what most have suggested that there is time too quickly respond between interims even when getting swamped with work, which would suggest he’s not too committed. But consider this comment above which I empathize with. People do the juggling and exchange texts constantly throughout the day, but there are people described above that view texting an activity of having an actual conversation. So, I don’t see the value in shooting the shit throughout the day and much rather engage with people when I can actually be engaged. Although imo more people do the former than belong to the latter bucket.

You know him better than we do. Make the judgement based on how you know him as a person. When he’s doing other things outside of work, is he multi-tasking and responding to texts simultaneously? Does he give you the undivided attention when he isn’t occupied with work? What kind of person is he and does that match the kind of interaction between you two?

 

LOL going to be the bigger person and not insult you but you should stop being so cynical about love. Everyone has their flaws and a recent one of his has been his slow response rate. Not looking for a sympathetic ear, rather looking for perspective. Was curious if this was a normal occurrence with banking analysts when they're in the office because I'd be more understanding of his situation. 

 

I'm not going to have a big dick contest with some stranger on the internet but i really hope you're still in college because you sound incredibly immature. With your mentality, you're going to stay single for a long time or end up with someone who only wants you for your money. I was looking for perspective to see if this was normal when dating a banker because we're young. I understand that I need to take the backseat for work sometimes in the early stages of his career because he has to do the same thing when i'm busy.  

Going to talk to him about how this is bothering me. Have a wonderful day.

 

I’m immature because I told you your bf doesn’t treat you right?

Whatever mental gymnastics you have to do to justify the fact he doesn’t stay in contact with you, that’s on you.

But when someone loves someone then stay in touch. It’s a quick text back, not a 15 min phone call to hold your hand.

But I’m the unrealistic jerk?

Feel free to check back in with us when he dumps you. Just keeping it real.

 

Blanditiis dolores quod accusamus aut ut commodi. Alias voluptatibus nesciunt nulla facere numquam ea eligendi. Dicta libero eos omnis ab odio veritatis fugiat.

Reiciendis ut dicta nisi in expedita ut. Et rerum nobis quo et saepe vel quasi cum. Earum et placeat error nam ut perferendis doloremque. Laboriosam voluptatem quas magni eos aut sunt. Voluptas odio ea laudantium sed repudiandae. Neque ullam blanditiis quis doloremque explicabo reprehenderit sed.

Et odio velit itaque praesentium accusamus autem. Dolor dolor nemo aliquam veritatis.

 
Most Helpful

Dolorum animi ut modi reiciendis ex eum. Ex aut quam voluptas voluptates aut quisquam. Aspernatur dolorem voluptatem velit.

Beatae eaque ad iusto perferendis recusandae. Qui quos cupiditate qui ut. Rerum harum ipsa qui dolorem quidem earum harum. Ad cum minima similique sit veritatis.

Impedit iusto nihil tempora saepe illum quia non a. Dolorem vitae autem minima et et. Vitae similique ipsam sed eligendi eligendi totam. Nesciunt velit sapiente reiciendis voluptatum et deserunt. Delectus ratione corrupti vel quia qui.

Career Advancement Opportunities

July 2026 Investment Banking

  • Evercore 01 99.4%
  • Moelis & Company 01 98.9%
  • JPMorgan 01 98.3%
  • Guggenheim Partners 01 97.7%
  • Morgan Stanley 07 97.1%

Overall Employee Satisfaction

July 2026 Investment Banking

  • Moelis & Company No 99.4%
  • Morgan Stanley 02 98.8%
  • Evercore 01 98.3%
  • BMO Capital Markets 12 97.7%
  • Banco Santander 01 97.1%

Professional Growth Opportunities

July 2026 Investment Banking

  • Evercore 01 99.4%
  • Moelis & Company 01 98.9%
  • Morgan Stanley 06 98.3%
  • Goldman Sachs 01 97.7%
  • JPMorgan No 97.1%

Total Avg Compensation

July 2026 Investment Banking

  • Vice President (15) $434
  • Associates (45) $258
  • 3rd+ Year Analyst (8) $210
  • 2nd Year Analyst (22) $179
  • Intern/Summer Associate (13) $156
  • 1st Year Analyst (79) $150
  • Intern/Summer Analyst (73) $101
notes
16 IB Interviews Notes

“... there’s no excuse to not take advantage of the resources out there available to you. Best value for your $ are the...”

Leaderboard

1
redever's picture
redever
99.2
2
kanon's picture
kanon
99.0
3
BankonBanking's picture
BankonBanking
99.0
4
Secyh62's picture
Secyh62
99.0
5
DrApeman's picture
DrApeman
98.9
6
GameTheory's picture
GameTheory
98.9
7
dosk17's picture
dosk17
98.9
8
Betsy Massar's picture
Betsy Massar
98.9
9
CompBanker's picture
CompBanker
98.9
10
bolo up's picture
bolo up
98.8
success
From 10 rejections to 1 dream investment banking internship

“... I believe it was the single biggest reason why I ended up with an offer...”