How To Make a Proper Margarita

Andy note: "Blast from the past - Best of Eddie" - This one is originally from June 2010 . If there's an old post from Eddie you'd like to see up again shoot me a message.

I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's the best they're going to feel all day. ~Frank Sinatra

Summer is upon us, and on those rare occasions that you find yourself with time off while the sun is still shining, few drinks put you in a better mood than the storied

. Like everything else in life, however, there is a right and a wrong way to "do" a margarita. Consider this a public service post to educate the younger and less experienced drinkers in our fair forum. It was inspired by a pretty hilarious drunken conversation I had with Patrick last night.

The first step in making a proper margarita is to take a quick trip to the bathroom. Casually drop trou and see if you notice a pair of testicles down there. Got 'em? Congratulations! You'll be taking your margarita on the rocks. Nothing looks quite as ridiculous as a grown man sipping a frothy blender drink. Save yourself the embarrassment. The only thing worse is a guy drinking some neon Cosmo, Appletini, Lemon Drop nonsense.

Having arrived at the fact that you'll be enjoying a rocks margarita, let's talk equipment. If you don't already have one, buy yourself a nice stainless steel shaker. They're not expensive, they're easy to clean, and they last forever. While you're at it, buy a small rack of stainless bar tools that includes a two-sided jigger and a garnish knife.

A word about tequila selection. There are many (literally hundreds) of fantastic premium tequilas on the market. Some I would comfortably compare to the finest single malt scotches. You won't be using any of these for your margarita. There are premium (or Cadillac) margaritas, but it isn't the tequila that makes them that way. To mix premium tequila is just wasteful unless you're selling overpriced drinks to know-nothings at T.G.I.Fridays. For our purposes, Cuervo will do just fine.

Here is your ingredient list:

  • José Cuervo or comparable swill
  • Triple Sec (or you can substitute Cointreau or Grand Marnier to kick it up a notch and make it "premium")
  • Rose's Lime Juice
  • Sweet and Sour Mix (my preference is Finest Call or Mr. & Mrs. T's)
  • Salt and Pure Lime Juice for garnish (matter of personal preference. I like my margaritas with no salt.)

Mixing up perfect margaritas is easy with the standard stainless shaker. Add some ice to the shaker and, using the 2-oz side of your jigger, mix:

4 oz of tequila
2 oz of triple sec
2 oz of Rose's Lime Juice
Fill the rest of the shaker with Sweet and Sour mix and then shake like hell

If you're the salted rim type, dip the rim of your glass in pure lime juice and give it a twist in a pile of salt. Fill the glass with ice and pour the contents of the shaker into it. Finish the drink with a floater of Grand Marnier on top for a nice flourish. Consume enough of these to forget that you're the 12th man on the deal team at work.

Have a great weekend guys, and remember, don't be this guy:

P.S. I'm always on the lookout for great drink recipes, so if you feel like sharing I'd be much obliged.

Comments (39)

Jun 11, 2010 - 8:36am
IlliniProgrammer, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Pfft. All mixed drinks- cosmos, blueberry martinis, margaritas, and kiddie cocktails- fall into the same category; they're not for men. Some may ask why James Bond drinks a martini- the answer is that he's British.

The only acceptable drink for an American guy from anywhere south or west of Philly is either beer or hard liqour straight. That's it. No wine. No seaweed-encrusted tofu (real men eat steak). No mixed drinks.

Sorry for being in such a trollish mood this morning, Edmundo. Must've been the four Hofbraus (note that it was beer) from last night. :D

Jun 11, 2010 - 11:19am
brunoufsc, what's your opinion? Comment below:

IlliniProgrammer is right. If you´re ever in Brazil for business, don´t ask for colorful mixed drinks. Don´t go for that martini either, don´t care if you are brit. The only place you´re allowed to get such colorful drinks with little umbrellas is at the beach and you must be alone (with no other male friend) surrounded by women.

No exceptions.

Best Response
Jun 12, 2010 - 7:57pm
jameson22, what's your opinion? Comment below:
IlliniProgrammer:
Pfft. All mixed drinks- cosmos, blueberry martinis, margaritas, and kiddie cocktails- fall into the same category; they're not for men. Some may ask why James Bond drinks a martini- the answer is that he's British.

The only acceptable drink for an American guy from anywhere south or west of Philly is either beer or hard liqour straight. That's it. No wine. No seaweed-encrusted tofu (real men eat steak). No mixed drinks.

Sorry for being in such a trollish mood this morning, Edmundo. Must've been the four Hofbraus (note that it was beer) from last night. :D

Complete bullshit. You don't need to have that pseudo-manly attitude to have a decent drink, and don;t be worried about being ridiculed by tools who think that the only acceptable drinks are straight liquor and beer. I feel sorry for you if you really think this. There is a time and a place for most drinks. Having a vodka tonic does not make you a sissy.

Yeah, it's great to down straight liquor and I'm not saying you should order Zimas instead of a beer. But if you have a set of balls order whatever you damn please. Just keep in mind that real men don't bitch about a four beer hangover.

Aug 11, 2012 - 8:00am
GS, what's your opinion? Comment below:
jameson22:
IlliniProgrammer:
Pfft. All mixed drinks- cosmos, blueberry martinis, margaritas, and kiddie cocktails- fall into the same category; they're not for men. Some may ask why James Bond drinks a martini- the answer is that he's British.

The only acceptable drink for an American guy from anywhere south or west of Philly is either beer or hard liqour straight. That's it. No wine. No seaweed-encrusted tofu (real men eat steak). No mixed drinks.

Sorry for being in such a trollish mood this morning, Edmundo. Must've been the four Hofbraus (note that it was beer) from last night. :D

Complete bullshit. You don't need to have that pseudo-manly attitude to have a decent drink, and don;t be worried about being ridiculed by tools who think that the only acceptable drinks are straight liquor and beer. I feel sorry for you if you really think this. There is a time and a place for most drinks. Having a vodka tonic does not make you a sissy.

Yeah, it's great to down straight liquor and I'm not saying you should order Zimas instead of a beer. But if you have a set of balls order whatever you damn please. Just keep in mind that real men don't bitch about a four beer hangover.

Dude , Chill. He's from the midwest. They argue over which is the better beer - Miller or Budweiser.

Here's an answer - they both taste like dogshit!

  • 3
Jun 13, 2010 - 11:30am
prospie, what's your opinion? Comment below:
IlliniProgrammer:
The only acceptable drink for an American guy from anywhere south or west of Philly is either beer or hard liqour straight. That's it. No wine. No seaweed-encrusted tofu (real men eat steak). No mixed drinks.

You have the right idea, but I disagree on the wine. (Also not sure what you mean about south and west of Philly, although I can guess.) The following is from Paul Fussell's Class: A Guide Through The American Status System, after he mentions that white wine is the drink of choice for class people.

Fussell:
There seems something significant in the testimony of the girlfriend of Trent Lehman, the former child TV drama star who hanged himself. "He started to drink heavily, Seagram's and Seven-Up," she reports. "One day he was sitting in the Jacuzzi with all his clothes on, drunk." How like a boy. A man would have been drunk on white wine.

I should also quote the Official Preppy Handbook, section on parties:

the large cocktail party: "Drinks are jug wine and a refrigerator full of beer." the small cocktail party: "Real glasses are used ... Real liquor is served (albeit house brands)." dinner party: "When guests are invited, they invariably ask, 'What can I bring?' They are invariably told, 'Wine.' "

Anyway, now I feel like a huge fag. Having siad that, great thread Edmundo. I've learned something today.

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Aug 11, 2012 - 12:58pm
wannabeaballer, what's your opinion? Comment below:
IlliniProgrammer:
Some may ask why James Bond drinks a martini- the answer is that he's British.

I agree with the rest of your post, but a true martini - the kind Bond drinks, is straight Gin or Vodka shaken with ice and perhaps 5 drops of vermouth. It's basically like drinking 3 shots of straight Vodka at 40 degrees. The only women who would touch this drink are rich old maids who prefer to be closer to death than life. If you look at the history of american cocktails, they became popular at mens social clubs before they ever appeared in bars. The drinks of the 1920's are undrinkable by today's standards because they are all pretty much straight liquor shaken with ice and a hint of something.

Serve your girlfriend a Gibson or Old Fashioned and get back to me on the manliness of mixed drinks.

Aug 12, 2012 - 11:14am
Eddie Braverman, what's your opinion? Comment below:
wannabeaballer:
IlliniProgrammer:
Some may ask why James Bond drinks a martini- the answer is that he's British.

I agree with the rest of your post, but a true martini - the kind Bond drinks, is straight Gin or Vodka shaken with ice and perhaps 5 drops of vermouth. It's basically like drinking 3 shots of straight Vodka at 40 degrees.

Actually, you'd never shake a martini for fear of "denting" the gin or vodka. That is why a martini is always stirred and never shaken. Also why Bond is kind of a tool.

Jun 11, 2010 - 9:38am
proforma, what's your opinion? Comment below:

I would have to respectfully disagree with the tequilia selection. There are tequilas inbetween Cuervo and top shelf that really add to the flavor of the margarita. Just remember to look for something 100% agave (cuervo is 51%) and white (blanco). Save the aged tequila for sipping.

Also skip the Triple Sec and go straight for Cointreau or Grand Marnier. Personally I would skip the Sweet and Sour as well.

On a side note, for all us poor folk out here, back in HS we used to mix tequila with Mt Dew for a poor man's margarita. Surprisingly not that bad.

Jun 11, 2010 - 10:10am
statusquo, what's your opinion? Comment below:

I agree with proforma about the tequila selection. A good margarita is defined by the use of 100% agave tequila combined with Cointreau or Grand Marnier. Good tequila is great, but bad tequila (like Cuervo) is gross. The cheaper 100% tequilas (Sauza Hornitos) are best for margaritas as Cuervo is too shitty and top shelf like Patron or Don Julio is a waste. A quality margarita involves 3 ingredients and gets you drunk quickly:

3 parts 100% de agave tequila 2 parts Cointreau 1 part FRESH lime juice (if you don't have time to squeeze limes, bottled real lime juice can work as long as it's not sweetened)

No form of sweet and sour mix, sweetened lime juice, or any type of sugar product should ever make its way into a margarita. If you find the above recipe too strong, add about a third or a half of a beer to an entire pitcher, or a splash to an individual glass (seriously).

Jun 11, 2010 - 9:32pm
Frank Slaughtery, what's your opinion? Comment below:
statusquo:
I agree with proforma about the tequila selection. A good margarita is defined by the use of 100% agave tequila combined with Cointreau or Grand Marnier. Good tequila is great, but bad tequila (like Cuervo) is gross. The cheaper 100% tequilas (Sauza Hornitos) are best for margaritas as Cuervo is too shitty and top shelf like Patron or Don Julio is a waste. A quality margarita involves 3 ingredients and gets you drunk quickly:

3 parts 100% de agave tequila 2 parts Cointreau 1 part FRESH lime juice (if you don't have time to squeeze limes, bottled real lime juice can work as long as it's not sweetened)

No form of sweet and sour mix, sweetened lime juice, or any type of sugar product should ever make its way into a margarita. If you find the above recipe too strong, add about a third or a half of a beer to an entire pitcher, or a splash to an individual glass (seriously).

+1. i usually do 2 parts tequilla, 2 parts cointreau, 1 part lime juice though. never put in sweetened lime juice or sweet and sour and i like sauza hornitos for my margaritas.

  • 3
Jun 11, 2010 - 11:51am
chungus_1999, what's your opinion? Comment below:

PSHAWWWW. Real men grow their own potatoes, corn, or whatever and then distill them at home as well. When I go to parties, I bring my latest batch of mash liquor in my favorite Mason jars- the ones with the metal clasp seal lid. Real men drink their mash liquor straight. I have no time for this silly concept of 'mixing'. I don't even put my liquor in another cup, nor do I dabble with silly brown paper bags. I am proud of my liquor because I AM A REAL MAN. One time this lesser man attempted to mock me for my homemade awesomeness. Do you know what I did? I held up a lighter to my mouth and blasted my mash liquor out, igniting it and sending an awesome ball of flame at his face.

Jun 11, 2010 - 4:25pm
LIBOR, what's your opinion? Comment below:
olafenizer:
PSHAWWWW. Real men grow their own potatoes, corn, or whatever and then distill them at home as well. When I go to parties, I bring my latest batch of mash liquor in my favorite Mason jars- the ones with the metal clasp seal lid. Real men drink their mash liquor straight. I have no time for this silly concept of 'mixing'. I don't even put my liquor in another cup, nor do I dabble with silly brown paper bags. I am proud of my liquor because I AM A REAL MAN. One time this lesser man attempted to mock me for my homemade awesomeness. Do you know what I did? I held up a lighter to my mouth and blasted my mash liquor out, igniting it and sending an awesome ball of flame at his face.

haahhah

and great post.... I think I might get a shaker when I get off work tonight

Also, NY men are 10% girl. I'm sorry but its true (I can say that because I am one). So yeah, an NYC man drinking a margarita (on the rocks) is probably on the bottom of the list of the least girly things that some ny men have done

looking for that pick-me-up to power through an all-nighter?
  • 3
Jun 11, 2010 - 11:32pm
M-001, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Beer margaritas.

Beer Limeade Shitload of tequila...

Tastes like lime juice, smells like beer, and f*cks you up!

I do agree though, if you are going to be drinking a margarita, it must be on the rocks. I, myself, prefer a nice cold beer or maybe a vodka on the rocks with a splash of water and few squeezes of lime.

Jun 13, 2010 - 1:11am
giants92, what's your opinion? Comment below:
real men don't bitch about a four beer hangover.

Real men should not be hungover after drinking four beers the previous night because that would imply you got pretty drunk off four beers, which is absurd.

Having a vodka tonic does not make you a sissy.

Agreed. Nor a gin and tonic, rum and coke, jack and coke, etc.

Jun 13, 2010 - 2:07am
M-001, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Agreed.. I order whatever I have a taste for. Most of the time it just happens to be a beer or somewhat plain vodka drink. Whether that be with a slash of water and lime, or tonic and lime, or cranberry.

Lately, I have steer away from hard alcohol. Been trying to mix in many different beers. I like trying them.

Hate taking shots!!

Jun 14, 2010 - 8:51pm
GoldenEagle2009, what's your opinion? Comment below:

DON'T EVER USE ROSES LIME JUICE!! That stuff is way too sweet. Gotta use 2 oz Tequila, 1/2 oz Triple Sec (or substitute), 1 oz fresh squeezed lime juice, splash of fresh squeezed orange juice, top with sweet and sour (Finest Call is the best in my opinion), shake like hell, and chug. But who am I kidding? Everyone knows real men prefer bag slaps with Franzia.

Aug 11, 2012 - 7:58am
GS, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Eh .. You should drink what you like. JFK used to drink Strawberry Daquiries and he got more ass than any of us ever will.

Aug 11, 2012 - 10:34am
In The Flesh, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Not a big fan of tequila, but Cuervo is disgusting.

Metal. Music. Life. www.headofmetal.com
Aug 11, 2012 - 1:14pm
BlackHat, what's your opinion? Comment below:

When I saw the thread title I was hoping the instructions would include some pain-free way to have your manhood removed because I assume that's a necessity, but no such instructions exist

I hate victims who respect their executioners
Aug 11, 2012 - 4:37pm
TechBanking, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Hand squeezed limes, home cooked simple syrup, and tequila...that's it. A great choice of tequila is Espolon Reposado. It's not too expensive, but good enough to drink on the rocks. Mix the ingredients with 50% tequila, 45% lime juice and 5% simple syrup. You can call me a girl, but there is nothing better pool-side.

  • 1
Aug 12, 2012 - 12:35pm
In The Flesh, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Always appreciate hearing your past bartender experiences, Eddie.

Metal. Music. Life. www.headofmetal.com
Aug 24, 2013 - 2:05pm
thurnis haley, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Tequila is the only liquor I can tolerate. Expensive tequila goes down so smooth and has a distinct woody/earthy flavor. It's great. Even though 99% of the time I'm drinking alcohol it's beer, I see nothing wrong with a Margarita on a rare occasion, on the ice with salt. No mango flavor either. Just straight up lime.

EDIT: Why the hell was this thread on my front page when it's over a year old??

  • 1
Aug 24, 2013 - 2:20pm
IlliniProgrammer, what's your opinion? Comment below:

These are called "Blasts from the Past". Every once in a while, they resurrect an Eddie Braverman or other popular post on a quiet weekend.

I don't have too much of a problem with this, but I do find it somewhat disconcerting that it goes to the top of my recent posts page when one of these thread resurrections occurs.

1.) When a thread gets resurrected, send it to the top of the front page, but not my recent post history. 2.) When people post, THEN you can send it to the top. 3.) Put a huge orange box above the first new post "FRONT PAGE BLAST FROM THE PAST" so I don't foolishly turn into the grumpy old man with the rusty Honda yelling at the kids not to resurrect three year old posts.

Either that or we should consider locking the threads for a couple days. I know that the goal here isn't to confuse people into thinking this is a new post, but it's annoying to be the first guy to post in what you think is a new thread and then realize "Oh shoot, this is from three years ago and is a front page repost".

Aug 24, 2013 - 2:20pm
Take_It_To_The_Bank, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Wall Street is chock full of insecure men who do stupid things to assert their manhood. Mixed drinks and fruity cocktails taste good, go drink them, and fuck the people who judge you for it.

Aug 24, 2013 - 2:44pm
Going Concern, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Too much wine just makes me sleepy and too much beer just makes me pee a lot because I don't have a bladder the size of a basketball. Too much whiskey/scotch results in a hangover that is of the nasty variety. Things that get me nice and buzzed include gin, tequila and rum, with dirty martini, margarita on the rocks, and mojito being the conduits of choice.

Aug 26, 2013 - 9:17am
In The Flesh, what's your opinion? Comment below:

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Metal. Music. Life. www.headofmetal.com
Aug 13, 2022 - 11:26am
starstar, what's your opinion? Comment below:

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