That game can backfire though when the girl you are paying attention to (not the one you really like) gets attached to you and starts shit with the girl you really like when you shift your attentions over.
Yes, I use it alot. And occasionally I've gotten burned. However, the tactic has a great success / fail ratio.
We want whatever we think is best. If you make the mistake of showing weakness, you won't see him again. Rules are rules, after all.
I've also lived in Spain; you know why he'd want to hang out with Spanish girls.
good point...I just assumed he was into me...and I think he does like them better..he's Danish by the way...and I was supposed to go out with my friends and like a moron called him as well...yup..that sure taught me
Think Alexey is right on. The guy has definitely changed his mind, and he's not playing the "ignore the girl you really like and hit on her friends" cuz spending only 3 min with u the whole night would be over-doing the strategy.
Best thing for u to do now is move on. Just be a fun girl and demonstrate your value by showing that u won't get attached easily or be controlled. U got other options. Your friends might look better than u but u can let your personality shine. Guys like fun girls too whom they can have a good time with. Hopefully he'll see this and re-consider once he's done with your friends. If not, there's always other guys in the jungle ;)
hey well I just spoke to one of my Spanish friends and she said that I was very rude to him because I completely ignored him..throughout....errmmm...okaaaayy..I guess that's possible because I get nervous and tend to ignore people I like...so...sorry for bothering everybody but you can't deny the fact that this thread is a tad amusing..n'est-ce pas?
I know...you're right about mental games being exhausting...so I'm just going to concentrate on more important things...until he calls (if he does)...hehehe
ooh of course they do...and they're saying I gave him the cold shoulder all evening...um...that might be true
This is all kind of ridiculous.
Did you not even try once the entire night to talk to him?
I hate games. It almost sounds like both of you are playing games. You not talking to him; he not talking to you.
Now if the world were a perfect place you both could just either A) get it on or B) tell each other the truth.
But it always seems that honesty and directness confuses people and thus you end up wasting possibly good opportunities. Thus I am hesitant to tell you to tell the truth because it probably won't work.
If only it were so. I tell myself to wait on the person who doesn't freak on being honest...that would be cool.
Ooops,I think you should avoid taking not only one but 2 spanish bombs with you when you meet a guy you fancy..Instead of that take 2 monsters with you and i am sure after max 10 minutes he will do the first steps towards you.
Moreover,and don't take it for you personally, I think that a 30 years old girl has a self-confidence that a 20 years old one cannot have,and this is terribly appealing for a man(not a kid).
It is in the old pots that we cook the best soups after all!
As a female here, never take friends who are hot (or hotter than you) out to meet a guy you're "seeing." Once he's your boyfriend, do whatever you want. But if you're still trying to seal the deal, you should never bring your hot friends. That's just stupid.
Plus, how old is he? If he's in his mid-late 20s, he might find older women more attractive. A lot of 21 year old females are annoying and insecure.
I don't feel insecure around my girlfriends if they ARE hot.
My girlfriends respect the "rule".
If a guy I like and introduce to my "hot" friends seeks one of them out, that's great. Loser is exposed. Less time wasted.
Finally, if my girlfriends know I like someone and he plays one of them, SHE will also think he's a Loser. The fella is history.
aadpepsi,
I agree with you if there was an acknowledged thing going on between the guy and the girl.
In this particular case, it doesn't seem like either Elaine was sure the guy liked her or if the guy was sure Elaine liked him.
If the guy didn't know Elaine liked him (and especially if he didn't like Elaine), then he has every right and is not a loser for working some game on the friends. Maybe the guy thought he and Elaine's relationship was purely platonic.
Of course if it's already on with him and Elaine, and he hits on the friends he is not only a dog, but a very stupid one.
He's 28..and I ran into him today and he seemed offended when I told him I went out for dinner on Monday night because he said he thought I had to work because I had told him that..and then I told him I wasn't going to give an exam I was supposed to give on Friday and he asked me what I was going to do..
And I just realized that I sound about 15 right now...I'm really not this immature..I swear!! It's just that these situations tend to make me regress a little..
I am sorry but I think that concerning this point girls can be much more cruel than men.I have seen/heard really bad stories and unless these girlfriends are among your "really best friends" it would be naive to think that they will always play the rule in the backstage as well.
You're right...but do you have any idea how hard it is to find a decent guy in Paris? It's like the planet of the apes.
swissknife:
I am sorry but I think that concerning this point girls can be much more cruel than men.I have seen/heard really bad stories and unless these girlfriends are among your "really best friends" it would be naive to think that they will always play the rule in the backstage as well.
Again..absolutely correct..fp175 and aadpepsi, you seem like really nice girls and I don't doubt for a second the fact that you're hot, but girls can be vicious...especially insecure 30 year olds who love it when ANY guy pays attention to them...ahem
But at the end of the day, girls remain friends no matter what and the loser is usually gotten rif of
You're right...but do you have any idea how hard it is to find a decent guy in Paris? It's like the planet of the apes.
Oh my god! I had no idea you were in Paris.
This could lead to a very long rant. Not just about dating, but everything! Instead, I will cut to the chase and give you the best advice you will ever get:
Again..absolutely correct..fp175 and aadpepsi, you seem like really nice girls and I don't doubt for a second the fact that you're hot, but girls can be vicious...especially insecure 30 year olds who love it when ANY guy pays attention to them...ahem
But at the end of the day, girls remain friends no matter what and the loser is usually gotten rif of
I'm gonna let aadpepsi and the girls handle the first paragraph above.
But, I think you are wrong that girls remain friends no matter what. Girls are constantly bitching about their girlfriends. They complain about EVERYTHING. I've seen so many girls not only end friendships, but viciously hate the other girl for years over stupid crap.
Guys on the other hand, yell a little, maybe fight. Then calm down, drink a beer, and then everybody is friends again. It takes like 10 minutes.
I acknowledge girls can be vicious. I guess I've been lucky. I have good girlfriends.
Thinking of it further, I can't think of anytime my girlfriends have been single. They seem to have always had a boyfriend... couldn't live life without being with someone, anyone. I guess, I really seem to like my independence :-)
I'm usually not with someone unless I really really want to be with someone. I don't have to be with someone so as not to be alone, does this make sense?
Well, this is neither here nor there and I'm rambling. All I'm trying to say is that I've been fortunate to have for the most part classy girlfiends.
This could lead to a very long rant. Not just about dating, but everything! Instead, I will cut to the chase and give you the best advice you will ever get:
Get the hell out of Paris! Run!
I have to tell ya..Paris is a great city to be stuck in..I've been here so long it actually feels like home (long story) and I plan on sticking around for a couple more years...but you're right.it is very frustrating living here, not just in the dating department, but Europeans in general (and I'm not counting the British) are very lax and they have it easy. They really don't understand what it means work even while you're going to school...but...this might lead to a very long rant of my own...
random99:
So what are the chics like any good. You want to get on the eurotunnel.
The chicks here are fantabulous! I'm 100% straight (I think) but I have to admit that there are some very hot ladies in this city...Spanish..Italian..Eastern European...Russian..Georgian..Asian..South american..Austrian..American...they might not all be good looking but they're very well put together..
On the other hand, guys here...well..you get my drift..I think I prefer American guys...European men have some major hang ups
I've noticed you haven't apparently seen any pretty African women, which Paris has in abundance
I'm sorry...I was trying to fit everyone in...let me add African women (who mind you are not only gorgeous but have the best figures) and Middle Eastern Women, Turkish women..everyone you can think of..Indian..German..it's like the best looking women from each country come here...
Why do the best looking come there because it is the fashion capital. Are most of these ladies working in fashion, if so must be stuck up.
So it's in abundance of all these hot nationalities. Hot Middle eastern, Indian, German, turkish. Never been out with any of those. Maybe I need to visit paris.
Paris is nice...beautiful city and men professing their love to me several times a day. Whereas in London I get an occasional "oi" from a construction worker and drunken snog attempts at student bars.
Paris is nice...beautiful city and men professing their love to me several times a day. Whereas in London I get an occasional "oi" from a construction worker and drunken snog attempts at student bars.
FP, French people always say je t'aime. It doesn't mean anything. They say it before they even know you. It's about as meaningful as "oi" and drunken snogs. You can never say it there enough. (Check out the third book from Stephen Clarke "Talk to the Snail", basically the non-fiction version of the "Merde" Series. There is a whole chapter about how the French say " I love you" too much.)
Paris is a beautiful city. Beyond that it sucks. Love to visit. Hate to live there.
The women in Paris are OK, but nothing special. If you want hot women, go to Eastern Europe, Brazil, or Copenhagen. Of every other place I have been in Europe and the States you have you typical bell curve distribution of hot girls, regular girls, and nasty girls. Only thing is that they are on average thinner in Europe.
I banged a Middle Eastern chick for a while in College, she was from Jordan. Not sure if she was Muslim. The persian chicks are probably the hottest though, too bad they have to cover themselves with towels.
FP, French people always say je t'aime. It doesn't mean anything. They say it before they even know you. It's about as meaningful as "oi" and drunken snogs. You can never say it there enough
Oh my god you're absolutely right! Men in France can be really sleazy and I'm not just talking about men on the street. They're really conservative (and they're not very gentlemanly either) and they stare at you (ok, everyone stares) if you're eating something while you're walking down the street or if you're wearing something even slightly unconventional.
I'm really starting to dislike European men in general. Too bas they're no decent American men in Paris..only stupid college kids
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Why don't you just ask Jerry, George and Kramer?
har har hardy har har
What the hell are you rambling about ? I can't even understand the situation you're trying to describe.
Well, maybe he liked your Spanish friend better or he could be just playing games with you trying to make you feel jealous.
He may be using the strategy of "ignore the girl you really like and hit on her friends", it's usually a very effective strategy.
ditto
I'm a subscriber to this general method
min downside, max upside
SeanC...you're a genius...you're either right or just trying to make me feel better...in any case..thank you for being so sweet
SeanC is right.
If he's really into you, he's playing games.
That game can backfire though when the girl you are paying attention to (not the one you really like) gets attached to you and starts shit with the girl you really like when you shift your attentions over.
Yes, I use it alot. And occasionally I've gotten burned. However, the tactic has a great success / fail ratio.
+Hammy
Interesting...
Well..I really do hope he's into me..thanks
We want whatever we think is best. If you make the mistake of showing weakness, you won't see him again. Rules are rules, after all.
I've also lived in Spain; you know why he'd want to hang out with Spanish girls.
Don't blame you for getting drunk, though.
Too shy maybe? Doesn't want to screw it up? Hahah... i'm talking about confidence in an IB board.
good point...I just assumed he was into me...and I think he does like them better..he's Danish by the way...and I was supposed to go out with my friends and like a moron called him as well...yup..that sure taught me
HAHAH thist hread is fucking hilarious. Late Saturday night, how perfect. We need more of these.
Think Alexey is right on. The guy has definitely changed his mind, and he's not playing the "ignore the girl you really like and hit on her friends" cuz spending only 3 min with u the whole night would be over-doing the strategy.
Best thing for u to do now is move on. Just be a fun girl and demonstrate your value by showing that u won't get attached easily or be controlled. U got other options. Your friends might look better than u but u can let your personality shine. Guys like fun girls too whom they can have a good time with. Hopefully he'll see this and re-consider once he's done with your friends. If not, there's always other guys in the jungle ;)
hey well I just spoke to one of my Spanish friends and she said that I was very rude to him because I completely ignored him..throughout....errmmm...okaaaayy..I guess that's possible because I get nervous and tend to ignore people I like...so...sorry for bothering everybody but you can't deny the fact that this thread is a tad amusing..n'est-ce pas?
you should post a pic of yourself and your friends to give us some perspective.
hey I'm not bad looking...plus I'm 21 and my friends are 31 and 33...very pretty but older..ahem..
just going to throw out there, that women are at their sexual peak in their early 30's
Elaine... just start hitting on his friend. If indeed he likes you, that will wake him up.
Eh, but then why bother with all the mental games? Kind of exhausting, no?
I know...you're right about mental games being exhausting...so I'm just going to concentrate on more important things...until he calls (if he does)...hehehe
Question, do your girlfriends know that you like this guy?
ooh of course they do...and they're saying I gave him the cold shoulder all evening...um...that might be true
This is all kind of ridiculous.
Did you not even try once the entire night to talk to him?
I hate games. It almost sounds like both of you are playing games. You not talking to him; he not talking to you.
Now if the world were a perfect place you both could just either A) get it on or B) tell each other the truth.
But it always seems that honesty and directness confuses people and thus you end up wasting possibly good opportunities. Thus I am hesitant to tell you to tell the truth because it probably won't work.
If only it were so. I tell myself to wait on the person who doesn't freak on being honest...that would be cool.
Ooops,I think you should avoid taking not only one but 2 spanish bombs with you when you meet a guy you fancy..Instead of that take 2 monsters with you and i am sure after max 10 minutes he will do the first steps towards you.
Moreover,and don't take it for you personally, I think that a 30 years old girl has a self-confidence that a 20 years old one cannot have,and this is terribly appealing for a man(not a kid). It is in the old pots that we cook the best soups after all!
That does not sound flattering :-)
I guess old pots are better to cook in..but that does sound kind of gross..
um well...no..I did try and then he did as well..I hate games...is anyone here good at statistics?
As a female here, never take friends who are hot (or hotter than you) out to meet a guy you're "seeing." Once he's your boyfriend, do whatever you want. But if you're still trying to seal the deal, you should never bring your hot friends. That's just stupid.
Plus, how old is he? If he's in his mid-late 20s, he might find older women more attractive. A lot of 21 year old females are annoying and insecure.
Alright, I disagree with this because...
I choose my female friends based on their personalities, not their looks. I have a mix of hot and average looking friends.
I don't feel insecure around them. But why bring in alternatives for a guy who isn't even yours yet?
That's great for you. None of my girlfriends would hook up with a guy I was seeing, but they have definitely in the past flirted with them.
Well if the two of you weren't actually together, he didn't owe you anything. Which doesn't make him a loser.
Same as above.
I'm sorry, I've seen this stuff happen so many times. You must have the most beautiful, kindest, and well-behaved group of female friends in New York.
aadpepsi,
I agree with you if there was an acknowledged thing going on between the guy and the girl.
In this particular case, it doesn't seem like either Elaine was sure the guy liked her or if the guy was sure Elaine liked him.
If the guy didn't know Elaine liked him (and especially if he didn't like Elaine), then he has every right and is not a loser for working some game on the friends. Maybe the guy thought he and Elaine's relationship was purely platonic.
Of course if it's already on with him and Elaine, and he hits on the friends he is not only a dog, but a very stupid one.
He's 28..and I ran into him today and he seemed offended when I told him I went out for dinner on Monday night because he said he thought I had to work because I had told him that..and then I told him I wasn't going to give an exam I was supposed to give on Friday and he asked me what I was going to do..
And I just realized that I sound about 15 right now...I'm really not this immature..I swear!! It's just that these situations tend to make me regress a little..
Move on take it from a pro
I am sorry but I think that concerning this point girls can be much more cruel than men.I have seen/heard really bad stories and unless these girlfriends are among your "really best friends" it would be naive to think that they will always play the rule in the backstage as well.
fp175 you re really clever!
You're right...but do you have any idea how hard it is to find a decent guy in Paris? It's like the planet of the apes.
Again..absolutely correct..fp175 and aadpepsi, you seem like really nice girls and I don't doubt for a second the fact that you're hot, but girls can be vicious...especially insecure 30 year olds who love it when ANY guy pays attention to them...ahem
But at the end of the day, girls remain friends no matter what and the loser is usually gotten rif of
Oh my god! I had no idea you were in Paris.
This could lead to a very long rant. Not just about dating, but everything! Instead, I will cut to the chase and give you the best advice you will ever get:
Get the hell out of Paris! Run!
I'm gonna let aadpepsi and the girls handle the first paragraph above.
But, I think you are wrong that girls remain friends no matter what. Girls are constantly bitching about their girlfriends. They complain about EVERYTHING. I've seen so many girls not only end friendships, but viciously hate the other girl for years over stupid crap.
Guys on the other hand, yell a little, maybe fight. Then calm down, drink a beer, and then everybody is friends again. It takes like 10 minutes.
So what are the chics like any good. You want to get on the eurotunnel.
fp175 and Elaine,
I acknowledge girls can be vicious. I guess I've been lucky. I have good girlfriends.
Thinking of it further, I can't think of anytime my girlfriends have been single. They seem to have always had a boyfriend... couldn't live life without being with someone, anyone. I guess, I really seem to like my independence :-)
I'm usually not with someone unless I really really want to be with someone. I don't have to be with someone so as not to be alone, does this make sense?
Well, this is neither here nor there and I'm rambling. All I'm trying to say is that I've been fortunate to have for the most part classy girlfiends.
I have to tell ya..Paris is a great city to be stuck in..I've been here so long it actually feels like home (long story) and I plan on sticking around for a couple more years...but you're right.it is very frustrating living here, not just in the dating department, but Europeans in general (and I'm not counting the British) are very lax and they have it easy. They really don't understand what it means work even while you're going to school...but...this might lead to a very long rant of my own...
The chicks here are fantabulous! I'm 100% straight (I think) but I have to admit that there are some very hot ladies in this city...Spanish..Italian..Eastern European...Russian..Georgian..Asian..South american..Austrian..American...they might not all be good looking but they're very well put together..
On the other hand, guys here...well..you get my drift..I think I prefer American guys...European men have some major hang ups
I've noticed you haven't apparently seen any pretty African women, which Paris has in abundance.
I'm sorry...I was trying to fit everyone in...let me add African women (who mind you are not only gorgeous but have the best figures) and Middle Eastern Women, Turkish women..everyone you can think of..Indian..German..it's like the best looking women from each country come here...
And then you have the men.......
Why do the best looking come there because it is the fashion capital. Are most of these ladies working in fashion, if so must be stuck up.
So it's in abundance of all these hot nationalities. Hot Middle eastern, Indian, German, turkish. Never been out with any of those. Maybe I need to visit paris.
Paris is nice...beautiful city and men professing their love to me several times a day. Whereas in London I get an occasional "oi" from a construction worker and drunken snog attempts at student bars.
FP, French people always say je t'aime. It doesn't mean anything. They say it before they even know you. It's about as meaningful as "oi" and drunken snogs. You can never say it there enough. (Check out the third book from Stephen Clarke "Talk to the Snail", basically the non-fiction version of the "Merde" Series. There is a whole chapter about how the French say " I love you" too much.)
Paris is a beautiful city. Beyond that it sucks. Love to visit. Hate to live there.
The women in Paris are OK, but nothing special. If you want hot women, go to Eastern Europe, Brazil, or Copenhagen. Of every other place I have been in Europe and the States you have you typical bell curve distribution of hot girls, regular girls, and nasty girls. Only thing is that they are on average thinner in Europe.
I banged a Middle Eastern chick for a while in College, she was from Jordan. Not sure if she was Muslim. The persian chicks are probably the hottest though, too bad they have to cover themselves with towels.
Lots of fine persians in LA. When persian girls are fit, they are ridiculously fit.
Oh my god you're absolutely right! Men in France can be really sleazy and I'm not just talking about men on the street. They're really conservative (and they're not very gentlemanly either) and they stare at you (ok, everyone stares) if you're eating something while you're walking down the street or if you're wearing something even slightly unconventional.
I'm really starting to dislike European men in general. Too bas they're no decent American men in Paris..only stupid college kids
Nisi suscipit delectus nostrum et exercitationem impedit voluptas. Sed nihil assumenda voluptas sint saepe. Expedita voluptatum facere itaque nobis minus nihil consectetur.
Fugit distinctio consequatur sunt in necessitatibus iure nihil. Autem soluta consequatur nostrum repudiandae est. Nostrum veniam in aliquid rem atque. Veritatis ut sed dolore. Voluptas id et eveniet dolore dolorem.
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